Act IV
Scene I
Petruchio’s country house.
Enter Grumio. | |
Grumio | Fie, fie on all tired jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever man so rayed? was ever man so weary? I am sent before to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm them. Now, were not I a little pot and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me: but I, with blowing the fire, shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller man than I will take cold. Holla, ho! Curtis. |
Enter Curtis. | |
Curtis | Who is that calls so coldly? |
Grumio | A piece of ice: if thou doubt it, thou mayst slide from my shoulder to my heel with no greater a run but my head and my neck. A fire good Curtis. |
Curtis | Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio? |
Grumio | O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore fire, fire; cast on no water. |
Curtis | Is she so hot a shrew as she’s reported? |
Grumio | She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but, thou knowest, winter tames man, woman and beast; for it hath tamed my old master and my new mistress and myself, fellow Curtis. |
Curtis | Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast. |
Grumio | Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot; and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress, whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy hot office? |
Curtis | I prithee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world? |
Grumio | A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine; and therefore fire: do thy duty, and have thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen to death. |
Curtis | There’s fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio, the news. |
Grumio | Why, “Jack, boy! ho! boy!” and as much news as will thaw. |
Curtis | Come, you are so full of cony-catching! |
Grumio | Why, therefore fire; for I have caught extreme cold. Where’s the cook? is supper ready, the house trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the serving-men in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on? Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order? |
Curtis | All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news. |
Grumio | First, know, my horse is tired; my master and mistress fallen out. |
Curtis | How? |
Grumio | Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby hangs a tale. |
Curtis | Let’s ha’t, good Grumio. |
Grumio | Lend thine ear. |
Curtis | Here. |
Grumio | There. Strikes him. |
Curtis | This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale. |
Grumio | And therefore ’tis called a sensible tale: and this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress— |
Curtis | Both of one horse? |
Grumio | What’s that to thee? |
Curtis | Why, a horse. |
Grumio | Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me, thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her with the horse upon her, how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed, that never prayed before, how I cried, how the horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion and thou return unexperienced to thy grave. |
Curtis | By this reckoning he is more shrew than she. |
Grumio | Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall find when he comes home. But what talk I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter, Sugarsop and the rest: let their heads be sleekly combed, their blue coats brushed and their garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair of my master’s horse-tail till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready? |
Curtis | They are. |
Grumio | Call them forth. |
Curtis | Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to countenance my mistress. |
Grumio | Why, she hath a face of her own. |
Curtis | Who knows not that? |
Grumio | Thou, it seems, that calls for company to countenance her. |
Curtis | I call them forth to credit her. |
Grumio | Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them. |
Enter four or five Serving-men. | |
Nathaniel | Welcome home, Grumio! |
Philip | How now, Grumio! |
Joseph | What, Grumio! |
Nicholas | Fellow Grumio! |
Nathaniel | How now, old lad? |
Grumio | Welcome, you;—how now, you;—what, you;—fellow, you;—and thus much for greeting. Now, my spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat? |
Nathaniel | All things is ready. How near is our master? |
Grumio | E’en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore be not—Cock’s passion, silence! I hear my master. |
Enter Petruchio and Katharina. | |
Petruchio |
Where be these knaves? What, no man at door
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All Serving-men | Here, here, sir; here, sir. |
Petruchio |
Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!
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Grumio | Here, sir; as foolish as I was before. |
Petruchio |
You peasant swain! you whoreson malt-horse drudge!
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Grumio |
Nathaniel’s coat, sir, was not fully made,
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Petruchio |
Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in. Exeunt Servants.
Where are those—Sit down, Kate, and welcome.—
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Re-enter Servants with supper. | |
Why, when, I say? Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.
Out, you rogue! you pluck my foot awry:
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Enter one with water. | |
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily.
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Katharina | Patience, I pray you; ’twas a fault unwilling. |
Petruchio |
A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear’d knave!
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First Servant | Ay. |
Petruchio | Who brought it? |
Peter | I. |
Petruchio |
’Tis burnt; and so is all the meat.
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Katharina |
I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet:
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Petruchio |
I tell thee, Kate, ’twas burnt and dried away;
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Re-enter Servants severally. | |
Nathaniel | Peter, didst ever see the like? |
Peter | He kills her in her own humour. |
Re-enter Curtis. | |
Grumio | Where is he? |
Curtis |
In her chamber, making a sermon of continency to her;
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Re-enter Petruchio. | |
Petruchio |
Thus have I politicly begun my reign,
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Scene II
Padua. Before Baptista’s house.
Enter Tranio and Hortensio. | |
Tranio |
Is’t possible, friend Licio, that Mistress Bianca
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Hortensio |
Sir, to satisfy you in what I have said,
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Enter Bianca and Lucentio. | |
Lucentio | Now, mistress, profit you in what you read? |
Bianca | What, master, read you? first resolve me that. |
Lucentio | I read that I profess, the Art to Love. |
Bianca | And may you prove, sir, master of your art! |
Lucentio | While you, sweet dear, prove mistress of my heart! |
Hortensio |
Quick proceeders, marry! Now, tell me, I pray,
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Tranio |
O despiteful love! unconstant womankind!
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Hortensio |
Mistake no more: I am not Licio,
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Tranio |
Signior Hortensio, I have often heard
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Hortensio |
See, how they kiss and court! Signior Lucentio,
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Tranio |
And here I take the unfeigned oath,
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Hortensio |
Would all the world but he had quite forsworn!
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Tranio |
Mistress Bianca, bless you with such grace
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Bianca | Tranio, you jest: but have you both forsworn me? |
Tranio | Mistress, we have. |
Lucentio | Then we are rid of Licio. |
Tranio |
I’ faith, he’ll have a lusty widow now,
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Bianca | God give him joy! |
Tranio | Ay, and he’ll tame her. |
Bianca | He says so, Tranio. |
Tranio | Faith, he is gone unto the taming-school. |
Bianca | The taming-school! what, is there such a place? |
Tranio |
Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master;
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Enter Biondello. | |
Biondello |
O master, master, I have watch’d so long
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Tranio | What is he, Biondello? |
Biondello |
Master, a mercatante, or a pedant,
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Lucentio | And what of him, Tranio? |
Tranio |
If he be credulous and trust my tale,
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Enter a Pedant. | |
Pedant | God save you, sir! |
Tranio | And you, sir! you are welcome. Travel you far on, or are you at the farthest? |
Pedant |
Sir, at the farthest for a week or two:
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Tranio | What countryman, I pray? |
Pedant | Of Mantua. |
Tranio |
Of Mantua, sir? marry, God forbid!
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Pedant | My life, sir! how, I pray? for that goes hard. |
Tranio |
’Tis death for any one in Mantua
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Pedant |
Alas! sir, it is worse for me than so;
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Tranio |
Well, sir, to do you courtesy,
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Pedant |
Ay, sir, in Pisa have I often been,
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Tranio | Among them know you one Vincentio? |
Pedant |
I know him not, but I have heard of him;
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Tranio |
He is my father, sir; and, sooth to say,
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Biondello | Aside. As much as an apple doth an oyster, and all one. |
Tranio |
To save your life in this extremity,
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Pedant |
O sir, I do; and will repute you ever
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Tranio |
Then go with me to make the matter good.
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Scene III
A room in Petruchio’s house.
Enter Katharina and Grumio. | |
Grumio | No, no, forsooth; I dare not for my life. |
Katharina |
The more my wrong, the more his spite appears:
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Grumio | What say you to a neat’s foot? |
Katharina | ’Tis passing good: I prithee let me have it. |
Grumio |
I fear it is too choleric a meat.
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Katharina | I like it well: good Grumio, fetch it me. |
Grumio |
I cannot tell; I fear ’tis choleric.
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Katharina | A dish that I do love to feed upon. |
Grumio | Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little. |
Katharina | Why then, the beef, and let the mustard rest. |
Grumio |
Nay then, I will not: you shall have the mustard,
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Katharina | Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt. |
Grumio | Why then, the mustard without the beef. |
Katharina |
Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave, Beats him.
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Enter Petruchio and Hortensio with meat. | |
Petruchio | How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort? |
Hortensio | Mistress, what cheer? |
Katharina | Faith, as cold as can be. |
Petruchio |
Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
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Katharina | I pray you, let it stand. |
Petruchio |
The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
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Katharina | I thank you, sir. |
Hortensio |
Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
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Petruchio |
Aside. Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lovest me.
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Enter Tailor. | |
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
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Enter Haberdasher. | |
What news with you, sir? | |
Haberdasher | Here is the cap your worship did bespeak. |
Petruchio |
Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
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Katharina |
I’ll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
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Petruchio |
When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
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Hortensio | Aside. That will not be in haste. |
Katharina |
Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
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Petruchio |
Why, thou say’st true; it is a paltry cap,
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Katharina |
Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
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Petruchio |
Thy gown? why, ay: come, tailor, let us see’t.
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Hortensio | Aside. I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown. |
Tailor |
You bid me make it orderly and well,
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Petruchio |
Marry, and did; but if you be remember’d,
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Katharina |
I never saw a better-fashion’d gown,
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Petruchio | Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee. |
Tailor | She says your worship means to make a puppet of her. |
Petruchio |
O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, thou thimble,
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Tailor |
Your worship is deceived; the gown is made
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Grumio | I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff. |
Tailor | But how did you desire it should be made? |
Grumio | Marry, sir, with needle and thread. |
Tailor | But did you not request to have it cut? |
Grumio | Thou hast faced many things. |
Tailor | I have. |
Grumio | Face not me: thou hast braved many men; brave not me; I will neither be faced nor braved. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest. |
Tailor | Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify |
Petruchio | Read it. |
Grumio | The note lies in’s throat, if he say I said so. |
Tailor | Reads. “Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown:” |
Grumio | Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it, and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread: I said a gown. |
Petruchio | Proceed. |
Tailor | Reads. “With a small compassed cape:” |
Grumio | I confess the cape. |
Tailor | Reads. “With a trunk sleeve:” |
Grumio | I confess two sleeves. |
Tailor | Reads. “The sleeves curiously cut.” |
Petruchio | Ay, there’s the villany. |
Grumio | Error i’ the bill, sir; error i’ the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out and sewed up again; and that I’ll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble. |
Tailor | This is true that I say: an I had thee in place where, thou shouldst know it. |
Grumio | I am for thee straight: take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me. |
Hortensio | God-a-mercy, Grumio! then he shall have no odds. |
Petruchio | Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me. |
Grumio | You are i’ the right, sir: ’tis for my mistress. |
Petruchio | Go, take it up unto thy master’s use. |
Grumio | Villain, not for thy life: take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use! |
Petruchio | Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that? |
Grumio |
O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for:
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Petruchio |
Aside. Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.
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Hortensio |
Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown to-morrow:
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Petruchio |
Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s
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Katharina |
I dare assure you, sir, ’tis almost two;
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Petruchio |
It shall be seven ere I go to horse:
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Hortensio | Aside. Why, so this gallant will command the sun. Exeunt. |
Scene IV
Padua. Before Baptista’s house.
Enter Tranio, and the Pedant dressed like Vincentio. | |
Tranio | Sir, this is the house: please it you that I call? |
Pedant |
Ay, what else? and but I be deceived
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Tranio |
’Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,
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Pedant | I warrant you. |
Enter Biondello. | |
But, sir, here comes your boy;
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Tranio |
Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,
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Biondello | Tut, fear not me. |
Tranio | But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista? |
Biondello |
I told him that your father was at Venice,
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Tranio |
Thou’rt a tall fellow: hold thee that to drink.
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Enter Baptista and Lucentio. | |
Signior Baptista, you are happily met.
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Pedant |
Soft, son!
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Baptista |
Sir, pardon me in what I have to say:
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Tranio |
I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best
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Baptista |
Not in my house, Lucentio; for, you know,
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Tranio |
Then at my lodging, an it like you:
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Baptista |
It likes me well. Biondello, hie you home,
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Biondello | I pray the gods she may with all my heart! |
Tranio |
Dally not with the gods, but get thee gone. Exit Biondello.
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Baptista | I follow you. Exeunt Tranio, Pedant, and Baptista. |
Re-enter Biondello. | |
Biondello | Cambio! |
Lucentio | What sayest thou, Biondello? |
Biondello | You saw my master wink and laugh upon you? |
Lucentio | Biondello, what of that? |
Biondello | Faith, nothing; but has left me here behind, to expound the meaning or moral of his signs and tokens. |
Lucentio | I pray thee, moralize them. |
Biondello | Then thus. Baptista is safe, talking with the deceiving father of a deceitful son. |
Lucentio | And what of him? |
Biondello | His daughter is to be brought by you to the supper. |
Lucentio | And then? |
Biondello | The old priest of Saint Luke’s church is at your command at all hours. |
Lucentio | And what of all this? |
Biondello |
I cannot tell; expect they are busied about a counterfeit assurance: take you assurance of her, “cum privilegio ad imprimendum solum:” to the church; take the priest, clerk, and some sufficient honest witnesses:
If this be not that you look for, I have no more to say,
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Lucentio | Hearest thou, Biondello? |
Biondello | I cannot tarry: I knew a wench married in an afternoon as she went to the garden for parsley to stuff a rabbit; and so may you, sir: and so, adieu, sir. My master hath appointed me to go to Saint Luke’s, to bid the priest be ready to come against you come with your appendix. Exit. |
Lucentio |
I may, and will, if she be so contented:
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Scene V
A public road.
Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Hortensio, and Servants. | |
Petruchio |
Come on, i’ God’s name; once more toward our father’s.
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Katharina | The moon! the sun: it is not moonlight now. |
Petruchio | I say it is the moon that shines so bright. |
Katharina | I know it is the sun that shines so bright. |
Petruchio |
Now, by my mother’s son, and that’s myself,
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Hortensio | Say as he says, or we shall never go. |
Katharina |
Forward, I pray, since we have come so far,
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Petruchio | I say it is the moon. |
Katharina | I know it is the moon. |
Petruchio | Nay, then you lie: it is the blessed sun. |
Katharina |
Then, God be bless’d, it is the blessed sun:
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Hortensio | Petruchio, go thy ways; the field is won. |
Petruchio |
Well, forward, forward! thus the bowl should run,
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Enter Vincentio. | |
To Vincentio. Good morrow, gentle mistress: where away?
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Hortensio | A’ will make the man mad, to make a woman of him. |
Katharina |
Young budding virgin, fair and fresh and sweet,
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Petruchio |
Why, how now, Kate! I hope thou art not mad:
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Katharina |
Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes,
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Petruchio |
Do, good old grandsire: and withal make known
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Vincentio |
Fair sir, and you my merry mistress,
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Petruchio | What is his name? |
Vincentio | Lucentio, gentle sir. |
Petruchio |
Happily met; the happier for thy son.
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Vincentio |
But is this true? or is it else your pleasure,
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Hortensio | I do assure thee, father, so it is. |
Petruchio |
Come, go along, and see the truth hereof;
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Hortensio |
Well, Petruchio, this has put me in heart.
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