Act IV
Scene I
A church.
| Enter Don Pedro, Don John, Leonato, Friar Francis, Claudio, Benedick, Hero, Beatrice, and attendants. | |
| Leonato | Come, Friar Francis, be brief; only to the plain form of marriage, and you shall recount their particular duties afterwards. | 
| Friar | You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady? | 
| Claudio | No. | 
| Leonato | To be married to her: friar, you come to marry her. | 
| Friar | Lady, you come hither to be married to this count? | 
| Hero | I do. | 
| Friar | If either of you know any inward impediment why you should not be conjoined, I charge you, on your souls, to utter it. | 
| Claudio | Know you any, Hero? | 
| Hero | None, my lord. | 
| Friar | Know you any, count? | 
| Leonato | I dare make his answer, none. | 
| Claudio | O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do! | 
| Benedick | How now! interjections? Why, then, some be of laughing, as, ah, ha, he! | 
| Claudio | 
									Stand thee by, Friar. Father, by your leave:
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| Leonato | As freely, son, as God did give her me. | 
| Claudio | 
									And what have I to give you back, whose worth
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| Don Pedro | Nothing, unless you render her again. | 
| Claudio | 
									Sweet prince, you learn me noble thankfulness.
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| Leonato | What do you mean, my lord? | 
| Claudio | 
									Not to be married,
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| Leonato | 
									Dear my lord, if you, in your own proof,
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| Claudio | 
									I know what you would say: if I have known her,
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| Hero | And seem’d I ever otherwise to you? | 
| Claudio | 
									Out on thee! Seeming! I will write against it:
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| Hero | Is my lord well, that he doth speak so wide? | 
| Leonato | Sweet prince, why speak not you? | 
| Don Pedro | 
									What should I speak?
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| Leonato | Are these things spoken, or do I but dream? | 
| Don John | Sir, they are spoken, and these things are true. | 
| Benedick | This looks not like a nuptial. | 
| Hero | True! O God! | 
| Claudio | 
									Leonato, stand I here?
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| Leonato | All this is so: but what of this, my lord? | 
| Claudio | 
									Let me but move one question to your daughter;
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| Leonato | I charge thee do so, as thou art my child. | 
| Hero | 
									O, God defend me! how am I beset!
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| Claudio | To make you answer truly to your name. | 
| Hero | 
									Is it not Hero? Who can blot that name
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| Claudio | 
									Marry, that can Hero;
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| Hero | I talk’d with no man at that hour, my lord. | 
| Don Pedro | 
									Why, then are you no maiden. Leonato,
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| Don John | 
									Fie, fie! they are not to be named, my lord,
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| Claudio | 
									O Hero, what a Hero hadst thou been,
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| Leonato | Hath no man’s dagger here a point for me? Hero swoons. | 
| Beatrice | Why, how now, cousin! wherefore sink you down? | 
| Don John | 
									Come, let us go. These things, come thus to light,
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| Benedick | How doth the lady? | 
| Beatrice | Dead, I think. Help, uncle! Hero! why, Hero! Uncle!—Signior Benedick! Friar! | 
| Leonato | 
									O Fate! take not away thy heavy hand.
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| Beatrice | How now, cousin Hero! | 
| Friar | Have comfort, lady. | 
| Leonato | Dost thou look up? | 
| Friar | Yea, wherefore should she not? | 
| Leonato | 
									Wherefore! Why, doth not every earthly thing
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| Benedick | 
									Sir, sir, be patient.
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| Beatrice | O, on my soul, my cousin is belied! | 
| Benedick | Lady, were you her bedfellow last night? | 
| Beatrice | 
									No, truly not; although, until last night,
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| Leonato | 
									Confirm’d, confirm’d! O, that is stronger made
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| Friar | 
									Hear me a little; for I have only been
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| Leonato | 
									Friar, it cannot be.
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| Friar | Lady, what man is he you are accused of? | 
| Hero | 
									They know that do accuse me; I know none:
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| Friar | There is some strange misprision in the princes. | 
| Benedick | 
									Two of them have the very bent of honour;
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| Leonato | 
									I know not. If they speak but truth of her,
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| Friar | 
									Pause awhile,
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| Leonato | What shall become of this? what will this do? | 
| Friar | 
									Marry, this well carried shall on her behalf
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| Benedick | 
									Signior Leonato, let the friar advise you:
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| Leonato | 
									Being that I flow in grief,
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| Friar | 
									’Tis well consented: presently away;
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| Benedick | Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while? | 
| Beatrice | Yea, and I will weep a while longer. | 
| Benedick | I will not desire that. | 
| Beatrice | You have no reason; I do it freely. | 
| Benedick | Surely I do believe your fair cousin is wronged. | 
| Beatrice | Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her! | 
| Benedick | Is there anyway to show such friendship? | 
| Beatrice | A very even way, but no such friend. | 
| Benedick | May a man do it? | 
| Beatrice | It is a man’s office, but not yours. | 
| Benedick | I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange? | 
| Beatrice | As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin. | 
| Benedick | By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. | 
| Beatrice | Do not swear, and eat it. | 
| Benedick | I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you. | 
| Beatrice | Will you not eat your word? | 
| Benedick | With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee. | 
| Beatrice | Why, then, God forgive me! | 
| Benedick | What offence, sweet Beatrice? | 
| Beatrice | You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you. | 
| Benedick | And do it with all thy heart. | 
| Beatrice | I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest. | 
| Benedick | Come, bid me do anything for thee. | 
| Beatrice | Kill Claudio. | 
| Benedick | Ha! not for the wide world. | 
| Beatrice | You kill me to deny it. Farewell. | 
| Benedick | Tarry, sweet Beatrice. | 
| Beatrice | I am gone, though I am here: there is no love in you: nay, I pray you, let me go. | 
| Benedick | Beatrice— | 
| Beatrice | In faith, I will go. | 
| Benedick | We’ll be friends first. | 
| Beatrice | You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy. | 
| Benedick | Is Claudio thine enemy? | 
| Beatrice | Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O that I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands; and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour—O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace. | 
| Benedick | Hear me, Beatrice— | 
| Beatrice | Talk with a man out at a window! A proper saying! | 
| Benedick | Nay, but, Beatrice— | 
| Beatrice | Sweet Hero! She is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone. | 
| Benedick | Beat— | 
| Beatrice | Princes and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count, Count Comfect; a sweet gallant, surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into curtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. | 
| Benedick | Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee. | 
| Beatrice | Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it. | 
| Benedick | Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero? | 
| Beatrice | Yea, as sure is I have a thought or a soul. | 
| Benedick | Enough, I am engaged; I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so I leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say she is dead: and so, farewell. Exeunt. | 
Scene II
A prison.
| Enter Dogberry, Verges, and Sexton, in gowns; and the Watch, with Conrade and Borachio. | |
| Dogberry | Is our whole dissembly appeared? | 
| Verges | O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton. | 
| Sexton | Which be the malefactors? | 
| Dogberry | Marry, that am I and my partner. | 
| Verges | Nay, that’s certain; we have the exhibition to examine. | 
| Sexton | But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. | 
| Dogberry | Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend? | 
| Borachio | Borachio. | 
| Dogberry | Pray, write down, Borachio. Yours, sirrah? | 
| Conrade | I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade. | 
| Dogberry | Write down, master gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God? | 
| Conrade, Borachio | Yea, sir, we hope. | 
| Dogberry | Write down, that they hope they serve God: and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains! Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves? | 
| Conrade | Marry, sir, we say we are none. | 
| Dogberry | A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is thought you are false knaves. | 
| Borachio | Sir, I say to you we are none. | 
| Dogberry | Well, stand aside. ’Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none? | 
| Sexton | Master constable, you go not the way to examine: you must call forth the watch that are their accusers. | 
| Dogberry | Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way. Let the watch come forth. Masters, I charge you, in the prince’s name, accuse these men. | 
| First Watch | This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince’s brother, was a villain. | 
| Dogberry | Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain. | 
| Borachio | Master constable— | 
| Dogberry | Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, I promise thee. | 
| Sexton | What heard you him say else? | 
| Second Watch | Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully. | 
| Dogberry | Flat burglary as ever was committed. | 
| Verges | Yea, by mass, that it is. | 
| Sexton | What else, fellow? | 
| First Watch | And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. | 
| Dogberry | O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this. | 
| Sexton | What else? | 
| Second Watch | This is all. | 
| Sexton | And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away; Hero was in this manner accused, in this manner refused, and upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master constable, let these men be bound, and brought to Leonato’s: I will go before and show him their examination. Exit. | 
| Dogberry | Come, let them be opinioned. | 
| Verges | Let them be in the hands— | 
| Conrade | Off, coxcomb! | 
| Dogberry | God’s my life, where’s the sexton? let him write down the prince’s officer coxcomb. Come, bind them. Thou naughty varlet! | 
| Conrade | Away! you are an ass, you are an ass. | 
| Dogberry | Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer, and, which is more, a householder, and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and everything handsome about him. Bring him away. O that I had been writ down an ass! Exeunt. |