Act I
Scene I
The King of Navarre’s park.
Enter Ferdinand, King of Navarre, Biron, Longaville and Dumain. | |
King |
Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
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Longaville |
I am resolved; ’tis but a three years’ fast:
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Dumain |
My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
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Biron |
I can but say their protestation over;
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King |
Your oath is pass’d to pass away from these. |
Biron |
Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
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Longaville |
You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest. |
Biron |
By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
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King |
Why, that to know, which else we should not know. |
Biron |
Things hid and barr’d, you mean, from common sense? |
King |
Ay, that is study’s god-like recompense. |
Biron |
Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
|
King |
These be the stops that hinder study quite
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Biron |
Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
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King |
How well he’s read, to reason against reading! |
Dumain |
Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding! |
Longaville |
He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding. |
Biron |
The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding. |
Dumain |
How follows that? |
Biron |
Fit in his place and time. |
Dumain |
In reason nothing. |
Biron |
Something then in rhyme. |
King |
Biron is like an envious sneaping frost
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Biron |
Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
|
King |
Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu. |
Biron |
No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
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King |
How well this yielding rescues thee from shame! |
Biron | Reads. “Item, That no woman shall come within a mile of my court:” Hath this been proclaimed? |
Longaville | Four days ago. |
Biron | Let’s see the penalty. Reads. “On pain of losing her tongue.” Who devised this penalty? |
Longaville |
Marry, that did I. |
Biron |
Sweet lord, and why? |
Longaville |
To fright them hence with that dread penalty. |
Biron |
A dangerous law against gentility! Reads. “Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman within the term of three years, he shall endure such public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.”
This article, my liege, yourself must break;
|
King |
What say you, lords? why, this was quite forgot. |
Biron |
So study evermore is overshot:
|
King |
We must of force dispense with this decree;
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Biron |
Necessity will make us all forsworn
|
King |
Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
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Biron |
Armado is a most illustrious wight,
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Longaville |
Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
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Enter Dull with a letter, and Costard. | |
Dull | Which is the duke’s own person? |
Biron | This, fellow: what wouldst? |
Dull | I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his grace’s tharborough: but I would see his own person in flesh and blood. |
Biron | This is he. |
Dull | Signior Arme—Arme—commends you. There’s villany abroad: this letter will tell you more. |
Costard | Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me. |
King | A letter from the magnificent Armado. |
Biron | How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words. |
Longaville | A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience! |
Biron | To hear? or forbear laughing? |
Longaville | To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to forbear both. |
Biron | Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to climb in the merriness. |
Costard | The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner. |
Biron | In what manner? |
Costard | In manner and form following, sir; all those three: I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken following her into the park; which, put together, is in manner and form following. Now, sir, for the manner—it is the manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form—in some form. |
Biron | For the following, sir? |
Costard | As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend the right! |
King | Will you hear this letter with attention? |
Biron | As we would hear an oracle. |
Costard | Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh. |
King |
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Costard | Not a word of Costard yet. |
King |
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Costard | It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in telling true, but so. |
King | Peace! |
Costard | Be to me and every man that dares not fight! |
King | No words! |
Costard | Of other men’s secrets, I beseech you. |
King |
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Costard | Me? |
King |
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Costard | Me? |
King |
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Costard | Still me? |
King |
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Costard | O, me! |
King |
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Costard | With a wench. |
King |
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Dull | Me, an’t shall please you; I am Anthony Dull. |
King |
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Biron | This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that ever I heard. |
King | Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say you to this? |
Costard | Sir, I confess the wench. |
King | Did you hear the proclamation? |
Costard | I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it. |
King | It was proclaimed a year’s imprisonment, to be taken with a wench. |
Costard | I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel. |
King | Well, it was proclaimed “damsel.” |
Costard | This was no damsel neither, sir; she was a virgin. |
King | It is so varied too; for it was proclaimed “virgin.” |
Costard | If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid. |
King | This maid will not serve your turn, sir. |
Costard | This maid will serve my turn, sir. |
King | Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week with bran and water. |
Costard | I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge. |
King |
And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
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Biron |
I’ll lay my head to any good man’s hat,
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Costard | I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and till then, sit thee down, sorrow! Exeunt. |
Scene II
The same.
Enter Armado and Moth. | |
Armado | Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit grows melancholy? |
Moth | A great sign, sir, that he will look sad. |
Armado | Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp. |
Moth | No, no; O Lord, sir, no. |
Armado | How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal? |
Moth | By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior. |
Armado | Why tough senior? why tough senior? |
Moth | Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal? |
Armado | I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton appertaining to thy young days, which we may nominate tender. |
Moth | And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your old time, which we may name tough. |
Armado | Pretty and apt. |
Moth | How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or I apt, and my saying pretty? |
Armado | Thou pretty, because little. |
Moth | Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt? |
Armado | And therefore apt, because quick. |
Moth | Speak you this in my praise, master? |
Armado | In thy condign praise. |
Moth | I will praise an eel with the same praise. |
Armado | What, that an eel is ingenious? |
Moth | That an eel is quick. |
Armado | I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood. |
Moth | I am answered, sir. |
Armado | I love not to be crossed. |
Moth | Aside. He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him. |
Armado | I have promised to study three years with the duke. |
Moth | You may do it in an hour, sir. |
Armado | Impossible. |
Moth | How many is one thrice told? |
Armado | I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster. |
Moth | You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir. |
Armado | I confess both: they are both the varnish of a complete man. |
Moth | Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to. |
Armado | It doth amount to one more than two. |
Moth | Which the base vulgar do call three. |
Armado | True. |
Moth | Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere ye’ll thrice wink: and how easy it is to put “years” to the word “three,” and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you. |
Armado | A most fine figure! |
Moth | To prove you a cipher. |
Armado | I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should outswear Cupid. Comfort me, boy: what great men have been in love? |
Moth | Hercules, master. |
Armado | Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good repute and carriage. |
Moth | Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back like a porter: and he was in love. |
Armado | O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s love, my dear Moth? |
Moth | A woman, master. |
Armado | Of what complexion? |
Moth | Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four. |
Armado | Tell me precisely of what complexion. |
Moth | Of the sea-water green, sir. |
Armado | Is that one of the four complexions? |
Moth | As I have read, sir; and the best of them too. |
Armado | Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit. |
Moth | It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. |
Armado | My love is most immaculate white and red. |
Moth | Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours. |
Armado | Define, define, well-educated infant. |
Moth | My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me! |
Armado | Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and pathetical! |
Moth |
If she be made of white and red,
A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of white and red. |
Armado | Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar? |
Moth | The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing nor the tune. |
Armado | I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well. |
Moth | Aside. To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master. |
Armado | Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love. |
Moth | And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench. |
Armado | I say, sing. |
Moth | Forbear till this company be past. |
Enter Dull, Costard, and Jaquenetta. | |
Dull | Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well. |
Armado | I do betray myself with blushing. Maid! |
Jaquenetta | Man? |
Armado | I will visit thee at the lodge. |
Jaquenetta | That’s hereby. |
Armado | I know where it is situate. |
Jaquenetta | Lord, how wise you are! |
Armado | I will tell thee wonders. |
Jaquenetta | With that face? |
Armado | I love thee. |
Jaquenetta | So I heard you say. |
Armado | And so, farewell. |
Jaquenetta | Fair weather after you! |
Dull | Come, Jaquenetta, away! Exeunt Dull and Jaquenetta. |
Armado | Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned. |
Costard | Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach. |
Armado | Thou shalt be heavily punished. |
Costard | I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded. |
Armado | Take away this villain; shut him up. |
Moth | Come, you transgressing slave; away! |
Costard | Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose. |
Moth | No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison. |
Costard | Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall see. |
Moth | What shall some see? |
Costard | Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank God I have as little patience as another man; and therefore I can be quiet. Exeunt Moth and Costard. |
Armado | I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And how can that be true love which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. The first and second cause will not serve my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio. Exit. |