Act V
Scene I
A churchyard.
Enter two Clowns, with spades, etc. | |
First Clown | Is she to be buried in Christian burial that wilfully seeks her own salvation? |
Second Clown | I tell thee she is: and therefore make her grave straight: the crowner hath sat on her, and finds it Christian burial. |
First Clown | How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defence? |
Second Clown | Why, ’tis found so. |
First Clown | It must be “se offendendo;” it cannot be else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act: and an act hath three branches; it is, to act, to do, to perform: argal, she drowned herself wittingly. |
Second Clown | Nay, but hear you, goodman delver— |
First Clown | Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good: if the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes—mark you that; but if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself: argal, he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life. |
Second Clown | But is this law? |
First Clown | Ay, marry, is’t; crowner’s quest law. |
Second Clown | Will you ha’ the truth on’t? If this had not been a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out o’ Christian burial. |
First Clown | Why, there thou say’st: and the more pity that great folk should have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even Christian. Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentleman but gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers: they hold up Adam’s profession. |
Second Clown | Was he a gentleman? |
First Clown | A’ was the first that ever bore arms. |
Second Clown | Why, he had none. |
First Clown | What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the Scripture? The Scripture says “Adam digged:” could he dig without arms? I’ll put another question to thee: if thou answerest me not to the purpose, confess thyself— |
Second Clown | Go to. |
First Clown | What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? |
Second Clown | The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants. |
First Clown | I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows does well; but how does it well? it does well to those that do ill: now thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church: argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To’t again, come. |
Second Clown | “Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?” |
First Clown | Ay, tell me that, and unyoke. |
Second Clown | Marry, now I can tell. |
First Clown | To’t. |
Second Clown | Mass, I cannot tell. |
Enter Hamlet and Horatio, at a distance. | |
First Clown |
Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating; and, when you are asked this question next, say “a grave-maker:” the houses that he makes last till doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan: fetch me a stoup of liquor. Exit Second Clown. He digs and sings.
In youth, when I did love, did love,
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Hamlet | Has this fellow no feeling of his business, that he sings at grave-making? |
Horatio | Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness. |
Hamlet | ’Tis e’en so: the hand of little employment hath the daintier sense. |
First Clown |
Sings.
But age, with his stealing steps,
Throws up a skull. |
Hamlet | That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain’s jaw-bone, that did the first murder! It might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o’er-reaches; one that would circumvent God, might it not? |
Horatio | It might, my lord. |
Hamlet | Or of a courtier; which could say “Good morrow, sweet lord! How dost thou, good lord?” This might be my lord such-a-one, that praised my lord such-a-one’s horse, when he meant to beg it; might it not? |
Horatio | Ay, my lord. |
Hamlet | Why, e’en so: and now my Lady Worm’s; chapless, and knocked about the mazzard with a sexton’s spade: here’s fine revolution, an we had the trick to see’t. Did these bones cost no more the breeding, but to play at loggats with ’em? mine ache to think on’t. |
First Clown |
Sings.
A pick-axe, and a spade, a spade,
Throws up another skull. |
Hamlet | There’s another: why may not that be the skull of a lawyer? Where be his quiddities now, his quillets, his cases, his tenures, and his tricks? why does he suffer this rude knave now to knock him about the sconce with a dirty shovel, and will not tell him of his action of battery? Hum! This fellow might be in’s time a great buyer of land, with his statutes, his recognizances, his fines, his double vouchers, his recoveries: is this the fine of his fines, and the recovery of his recoveries, to have his fine pate full of fine dirt? will his vouchers vouch him no more of his purchases, and double ones too, than the length and breadth of a pair of indentures? The very conveyances of his lands will hardly lie in this box; and must the inheritor himself have no more, ha? |
Horatio | Not a jot more, my lord. |
Hamlet | Is not parchment made of sheepskins? |
Horatio | Ay, my lord, and of calf-skins too. |
Hamlet | They are sheep and calves which seek out assurance in that. I will speak to this fellow. Whose grave’s this, sirrah? |
First Clown |
Mine, sir. Sings.
O, a pit of clay for to be made
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Hamlet | I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in’t. |
First Clown | You lie out on’t, sir, and therefore it is not yours: for my part, I do not lie in’t, and yet it is mine. |
Hamlet | Thou dost lie in’t, to be in’t and say it is thine: ’tis for the dead, not for the quick; therefore thou liest. |
First Clown | ’Tis a quick lie, sir; ’twill away again, from me to you. |
Hamlet | What man dost thou dig it for? |
First Clown | For no man, sir. |
Hamlet | What woman, then? |
First Clown | For none, neither. |
Hamlet | Who is to be buried in’t? |
First Clown | One that was a woman, sir; but, rest her soul, she’s dead. |
Hamlet | How absolute the knave is! we must speak by the card, or equivocation will undo us. By the Lord, Horatio, these three years I have taken a note of it; the age is grown so picked that the toe of the peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier, he galls his kibe. How long hast thou been a grave-maker? |
First Clown | Of all the days i’ the year, I came to’t that day that our last king Hamlet overcame Fortinbras. |
Hamlet | How long is that since? |
First Clown | Cannot you tell that? every fool can tell that: it was the very day that young Hamlet was born; he that is mad, and sent into England. |
Hamlet | Ay, marry, why was he sent into England? |
First Clown | Why, because he was mad: he shall recover his wits there; or, if he do not, it’s no great matter there. |
Hamlet | Why? |
First Clown | ’Twill not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he. |
Hamlet | How came he mad? |
First Clown | Very strangely, they say. |
Hamlet | How strangely? |
First Clown | Faith, e’en with losing his wits. |
Hamlet | Upon what ground? |
First Clown | Why, here in Denmark: I have been sexton here, man and boy, thirty years. |
Hamlet | How long will a man lie i’ the earth ere he rot? |
First Clown | I’ faith, if he be not rotten before he die—as we have many pocky corses now-a-days, that will scarce hold the laying in—he will last you some eight year or nine year: a tanner will last you nine year. |
Hamlet | Why he more than another? |
First Clown | Why, sir, his hide is so tanned with his trade, that he will keep out water a great while; and your water is a sore decayer of your whoreson dead body. Here’s a skull now; this skull has lain in the earth three and twenty years. |
Hamlet | Whose was it? |
First Clown | A whoreson mad fellow’s it was: whose do you think it was? |
Hamlet | Nay, I know not. |
First Clown | A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a’ poured a flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull, sir, was Yorick’s skull, the king’s jester. |
Hamlet | This? |
First Clown | E’en that. |
Hamlet | Let me see. Takes the skull. Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen? Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing. |
Horatio | What’s that, my lord? |
Hamlet | Dost thou think Alexander looked o’ this fashion i’ the earth? |
Horatio | E’en so. |
Hamlet | And smelt so? pah! Puts down the skull. |
Horatio | E’en so, my lord. |
Hamlet | To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bung-hole? |
Horatio | ’Twere to consider too curiously, to consider so. |
Hamlet |
No, faith, not a jot; but to follow him thither with modesty enough, and likelihood to lead it: as thus: Alexander died, Alexander was buried, Alexander returneth into dust; the dust is earth; of earth we make loam; and why of that loam, whereto he was converted, might they not stop a beer-barrel?
Imperious Caesar, dead and turn’d to clay,
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Enter Priests, etc. in procession; the Corpse of Ophelia, Laertes and Mourners following; King, Queen, their trains, etc. | |
The queen, the courtiers: who is this they follow?
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Laertes | What ceremony else? |
Hamlet |
That is Laertes,
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Laertes | What ceremony else? |
First Priest |
Her obsequies have been as far enlarged
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Laertes | Must there no more be done? |
First Priest |
No more be done:
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Laertes |
Lay her i’ the earth:
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Hamlet | What, the fair Ophelia! |
Queen |
Sweets to the sweet: farewell! Scattering flowers.
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Laertes |
O, treble woe
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Hamlet |
Advancing. What is he whose grief
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Laertes | The devil take thy soul! Grappling with him. |
Hamlet |
Thou pray’st not well.
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King | Pluck them asunder. |
Queen | Hamlet, Hamlet! |
All | Gentlemen— |
Horatio | Good my lord, be quiet. The Attendants part them, and they come out of the grave. |
Hamlet |
Why, I will fight with him upon this theme
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Queen | O my son, what theme? |
Hamlet |
I loved Ophelia: forty thousand brothers
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King | O, he is mad, Laertes. |
Queen | For love of God, forbear him. |
Hamlet |
’Swounds, show me what thou’lt do:
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Queen |
This is mere madness:
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Hamlet |
Hear you, sir;
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King |
I pray you, good Horatio, wait upon him. Exit Horatio.
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Scene II
A hall in the castle.
Enter Hamlet and Horatio. | |
Hamlet |
So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other;
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Horatio | Remember it, my lord? |
Hamlet |
Sir, in my heart there was a kind of fighting,
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Horatio | That is most certain. |
Hamlet |
Up from my cabin,
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Horatio | Is’t possible? |
Hamlet |
Here’s the commission: read it at more leisure.
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Horatio | I beseech you. |
Hamlet |
Being thus be-netted round with villainies—
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Horatio | Ay, good my lord. |
Hamlet |
An earnest conjuration from the king,
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Horatio | How was this seal’d? |
Hamlet |
Why, even in that was heaven ordinant.
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Horatio | So Guildenstern and Rosencrantz go to’t. |
Hamlet |
Why, man, they did make love to this employment;
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Horatio | Why, what a king is this! |
Hamlet |
Does it not, think’st thee, stand me now upon—
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Horatio |
It must be shortly known to him from England
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Hamlet |
It will be short: the interim is mine;
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Horatio | Peace! who comes here? |
Enter Osric. | |
Osric | Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. |
Hamlet | I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly? |
Horatio | No, my good lord. |
Hamlet | Thy state is the more gracious; for ’tis a vice to know him. He hath much land, and fertile: let a beast be lord of beasts, and his crib shall stand at the king’s mess: ’tis a chough; but, as I say, spacious in the possession of dirt. |
Osric | Sweet lord, if your lordship were at leisure, I should impart a thing to you from his majesty. |
Hamlet | I will receive it, sir, with all diligence of spirit. Put your bonnet to his right use; ’tis for the head. |
Osric | I thank your lordship, it is very hot. |
Hamlet | No, believe me, ’tis very cold; the wind is northerly. |
Osric | It is indifferent cold, my lord, indeed. |
Hamlet | But yet methinks it is very sultry and hot for my complexion. |
Osric | Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry—as ’twere—I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter— |
Hamlet | I beseech you, remember—Hamlet moves him to put on his hat. |
Osric | Nay, good my lord; for mine ease, in good faith. Sir, here is newly come to court Laertes; believe me, an absolute gentleman, full of most excellent differences, of very soft society and great showing: indeed, to speak feelingly of him, he is the card or calendar of gentry, for you shall find in him the continent of what part a gentleman would see. |
Hamlet | Sir, his definement suffers no perdition in you; though, I know, to divide him inventorially would dizzy the arithmetic of memory, and yet but yaw neither, in respect of his quick sail. But, in the verity of extolment, I take him to be a soul of great article; and his infusion of such dearth and rareness, as, to make true diction of him, his semblable is his mirror; and who else would trace him, his umbrage, nothing more. |
Osric | Your lordship speaks most infallibly of him. |
Hamlet | The concernancy, sir? why do we wrap the gentleman in our more rawer breath? |
Osric | Sir? |
Horatio | Is’t not possible to understand in another tongue? You will do’t, sir, really. |
Hamlet | What imports the nomination of this gentleman? |
Osric | Of Laertes? |
Horatio | His purse is empty already; all’s golden words are spent. |
Hamlet | Of him, sir. |
Osric | I know you are not ignorant— |
Hamlet | I would you did, sir; yet, in faith, if you did, it would not much approve me. Well, sir? |
Osric | You are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is— |
Hamlet | I dare not confess that, lest I should compare with him in excellence; but, to know a man well, were to know himself. |
Osric | I mean, sir, for his weapon; but in the imputation laid on him by them, in his meed he’s unfellowed. |
Hamlet | What’s his weapon? |
Osric | Rapier and dagger. |
Hamlet | That’s two of his weapons: but, well. |
Osric | The king, sir, hath wagered with him six Barbary horses: against the which he has imponed, as I take it, six French rapiers and poniards, with their assigns, as girdle, hangers, and so: three of the carriages, in faith, are very dear to fancy, very responsive to the hilts, most delicate carriages, and of very liberal conceit. |
Hamlet | What call you the carriages? |
Horatio | I knew you must be edified by the margent ere you had done. |
Osric | The carriages, sir, are the hangers. |
Hamlet | The phrase would be more german to the matter, if we could carry cannon by our sides: I would it might be hangers till then. But, on: six Barbary horses against six French swords, their assigns, and three liberal-conceited carriages; that’s the French bet against the Danish. Why is this “imponed,” as you call it? |
Osric | The king, sir, hath laid, that in a dozen passes between yourself and him, he shall not exceed you three hits: he hath laid on twelve for nine; and it would come to immediate trial, if your lordship would vouchsafe the answer. |
Hamlet | How if I answer “no”? |
Osric | I mean, my lord, the opposition of your person in trial. |
Hamlet | Sir, I will walk here in the hall: if it please his majesty, ’tis the breathing time of day with me; let the foils be brought, the gentleman willing, and the king hold his purpose, I will win for him an I can; if not, I will gain nothing but my shame and the odd hits. |
Osric | Shall I re-deliver you e’en so? |
Hamlet | To this effect, sir; after what flourish your nature will. |
Osric | I commend my duty to your lordship. |
Hamlet | Yours, yours. Exit Osric. He does well to commend it himself; there are no tongues else for’s turn. |
Horatio | This lapwing runs away with the shell on his head. |
Hamlet | He did comply with his dug, before he sucked it. Thus has he—and many more of the same bevy that I know the drossy age dotes on—only got the tune of the time and outward habit of encounter; a kind of yesty collection, which carries them through and through the most fond and winnowed opinions; and do but blow them to their trial, the bubbles are out. |
Enter a Lord. | |
Lord | My lord, his majesty commended him to you by young Osric, who brings back to him that you attend him in the hall: he sends to know if your pleasure hold to play with Laertes, or that you will take longer time. |
Hamlet | I am constant to my purpose; they follow the king’s pleasure: if his fitness speaks, mine is ready; now or whensoever, provided I be so able as now. |
Lord | The king and queen and all are coming down. |
Hamlet | In happy time. |
Lord | The queen desires you to use some gentle entertainment to Laertes before you fall to play. |
Hamlet | She well instructs me. Exit Lord. |
Horatio | You will lose this wager, my lord. |
Hamlet | I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practice: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all’s here about my heart: but it is no matter. |
Horatio | Nay, good my lord— |
Hamlet | It is but foolery; but it is such a kind of gain-giving, as would perhaps trouble a woman. |
Horatio | If your mind dislike any thing, obey it: I will forestall their repair hither, and say you are not fit. |
Hamlet | Not a whit, we defy augury: there’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all: since no man has aught of what he leaves, what is’t to leave betimes? |
Enter King, Queen, Laertes, Lords, Osric, and Attendants with foils, etc. | |
King | Come, Hamlet, come, and take this hand from me. |
The King puts Laertes’ hand into Hamlet’s. | |
Hamlet |
Give me your pardon, sir: I’ve done you wrong;
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Laertes |
I am satisfied in nature,
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Hamlet |
I embrace it freely;
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Laertes | Come, one for me. |
Hamlet |
I’ll be your foil, Laertes: in mine ignorance
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Laertes | You mock me, sir. |
Hamlet | No, by this hand. |
King |
Give them the foils, young Osric. Cousin Hamlet,
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Hamlet |
Very well, my lord;
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King |
I do not fear it; I have seen you both:
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Laertes | This is too heavy, let me see another. |
Hamlet | This likes me well. These foils have all a length? They prepare to play. |
Osric | Ay, my good lord. |
King |
Set me the stoups of wine upon that table.
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Hamlet | Come on, sir. |
Laertes | Come, my lord. They play. |
Hamlet | One. |
Laertes | No. |
Hamlet | Judgment. |
Osric | A hit, a very palpable hit. |
Laertes | Well; again. |
King |
Stay; give me drink. Hamlet, this pearl is thine;
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Hamlet | I’ll play this bout first; set it by awhile. Come. They play. Another hit; what say you? |
Laertes | A touch, a touch, I do confess. |
King | Our son shall win. |
Queen |
He’s fat, and scant of breath.
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Hamlet | Good madam! |
King | Gertrude, do not drink. |
Queen | I will, my lord; I pray you, pardon me. |
King | Aside. It is the poison’d cup: it is too late. |
Hamlet | I dare not drink yet, madam; by and by. |
Queen | Come, let me wipe thy face. |
Laertes | My lord, I’ll hit him now. |
King | I do not think’t. |
Laertes | Aside. And yet ’tis almost ’gainst my conscience. |
Hamlet |
Come, for the third, Laertes: you but dally;
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Laertes | Say you so? come on. They play. |
Osric | Nothing, neither way. |
Laertes | Have at you now! Laertes wounds Hamlet; then, in scuffling, they change rapiers, and Hamlet wounds Laertes. |
King | Part them; they are incensed. |
Hamlet | Nay, come, again. The Queen falls. |
Osric | Look to the queen there, ho! |
Horatio | They bleed on both sides. How is it, my lord? |
Osric | How is’t, Laertes? |
Laertes |
Why, as a woodcock to mine own springe, Osric;
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Hamlet | How does the queen? |
King | She swounds to see them bleed. |
Queen |
No, no, the drink, the drink—O my dear Hamlet—
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Hamlet |
O villany! Ho! let the door be lock’d:
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Laertes |
It is here, Hamlet: Hamlet, thou art slain;
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Hamlet |
The point envenom’d too!
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All | Treason! treason! |
King | O, yet defend me, friends; I am but hurt. |
Hamlet |
Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane,
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Laertes |
He is justly served;
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Hamlet |
Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.
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Horatio |
Never believe it:
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Hamlet |
As thou’rt a man,
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Osric |
Young Fortinbras, with conquest come from Poland,
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Hamlet |
O, I die, Horatio;
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Horatio |
Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince;
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Enter Fortinbras, the English Ambassadors, and others. | |
Prince Fortinbras | Where is this sight? |
Horatio |
What is it ye would see?
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Prince Fortinbras |
This quarry cries on havoc. O proud death,
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First Ambassador |
The sight is dismal;
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Horatio |
Not from his mouth,
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Prince Fortinbras |
Let us haste to hear it,
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Horatio |
Of that I shall have also cause to speak,
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Prince Fortinbras |
Let four captains
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