Act V
Scene I
Marseilles. A street.
Enter Helena, Widow, and Diana, with two Attendants. | |
Helena |
But this exceeding posting day and night
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Enter a Gentleman. | |
This man may help me to his majesty’s ear,
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Gentleman | And you. |
Helena | Sir, I have seen you in the court of France. |
Gentleman | I have been sometimes there. |
Helena |
I do presume, sir, that you are not fallen
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Gentleman | What’s your will? |
Helena |
That it will please you
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Gentleman | The king’s not here. |
Helena | Not here, sir! |
Gentleman |
Not, indeed:
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Widow | Lord, how we lose our pains! |
Helena |
All’s well that ends well yet,
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Gentleman |
Marry, as I take it, to Rousillon;
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Helena |
I do beseech you, sir,
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Gentleman | This I’ll do for you. |
Helena |
And you shall find yourself to be well thank’d,
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Scene II
Rousillon. Before the Count’s palace.
Enter Clown, and Parolles, following. | |
Parolles | Good Monsieur Lavache, give my Lord Lafeu this letter: I have ere now, sir, been better known to you, when I have held familiarity with fresher clothes; but I am now, sir, muddied in fortune’s mood, and smell somewhat strong of her strong displeasure. |
Clown | Truly, fortune’s displeasure is but sluttish, if it smell so strongly as thou speakest of: I will henceforth eat no fish of fortune’s buttering. Prithee, allow the wind. |
Parolles | Nay, you need not to stop your nose, sir; I spake but by a metaphor. |
Clown | Indeed, sir, if your metaphor stink, I will stop my nose; or against any man’s metaphor. Prithee, get thee further. |
Parolles | Pray you, sir, deliver me this paper. |
Clown | Foh! prithee, stand away: a paper from fortune’s close-stool to give to a nobleman! Look, here he comes himself. |
Enter Lafeu. | |
Here is a purr of fortune’s, sir, or of fortune’s cat—but not a musk-cat—that has fallen into the unclean fishpond of her displeasure, and, as he says, is muddied withal: pray you, sir, use the carp as you may; for he looks like a poor, decayed, ingenious, foolish, rascally knave. I do pity his distress in my similes of comfort and leave him to your lordship. Exit. | |
Parolles | My lord, I am a man whom fortune hath cruelly scratched. |
Lafeu | And what would you have me to do? ’Tis too late to pare her nails now. Wherein have you played the knave with fortune, that she should scratch you, who of herself is a good lady and would not have knaves thrive long under her? There’s a quart d’écu for you: let the justices make you and fortune friends: I am for other business. |
Parolles | I beseech your honour to hear me one single word. |
Lafeu | You beg a single penny more: come, you shall ha’t; save your word. |
Parolles | My name, my good lord, is Parolles. |
Lafeu | You beg more than “word,” then. Cox my passion! give me your hand. How does your drum? |
Parolles | O my good lord, you were the first that found me! |
Lafeu | Was I, in sooth? and I was the first that lost thee. |
Parolles | It lies in you, my lord, to bring me in some grace, for you did bring me out. |
Lafeu | Out upon thee, knave! dost thou put upon me at once both the office of God and the devil? One brings thee in grace and the other brings thee out. Trumpets sound. The king’s coming; I know by his trumpets. Sirrah, inquire further after me; I had talk of you last night: though you are a fool and a knave, you shall eat; go to, follow. |
Parolles | I praise God for you. Exeunt. |
Scene III
Rousillon. The Count’s palace.
Flourish. Enter King, Countess, Lafeu, the two French Lords, with Attendants. | |
King |
We lost a jewel of her; and our esteem
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Countess |
’Tis past, my liege;
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King |
My honour’d lady,
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Lafeu |
This I must say,
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King |
Praising what is lost
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Gentleman | I shall, my liege. Exit. |
King | What says he to your daughter? have you spoke? |
Lafeu | All that he is hath reference to your highness. |
King |
Then shall we have a match. I have letters sent me
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Enter Bertram. | |
Lafeu | He looks well on’t. |
King |
I am not a day of season,
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Bertram |
My high-repented blames,
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King |
All is whole;
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Bertram |
Admiringly, my liege, at first
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King |
Well excused:
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Countess |
Which better than the first, O dear heaven, bless!
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Lafeu |
Come on, my son, in whom my house’s name
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Bertram | Hers it was not. |
King |
Now, pray you, let me see it; for mine eye,
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Bertram |
My gracious sovereign,
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Countess |
Son, on my life,
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Lafeu | I am sure I saw her wear it. |
Bertram |
You are deceived, my lord; she never saw it:
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King |
Plutus himself,
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Bertram | She never saw it. |
King |
Thou speak’st it falsely, as I love mine honour;
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Bertram |
If you shall prove
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King | I am wrapp’d in dismal thinkings. |
Enter a Gentleman. | |
Gentleman |
Gracious sovereign,
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King |
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Lafeu | I will buy me a son-in-law in a fair, and toll for this: I’ll none of him. |
King |
The heavens have thought well on thee, Lafeu,
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Countess | Now, justice on the doers! |
Re-enter Bertram, guarded. | |
King |
I wonder, sir, sith wives are monsters to you,
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Enter Widow and Diana. | |
What woman’s that? | |
Diana |
I am, my lord, a wretched Florentine,
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Widow |
I am her mother, sir, whose age and honour
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King | Come hither, count; do you know these women? |
Bertram |
My lord, I neither can nor will deny
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Diana | Why do you look so strange upon your wife? |
Bertram | She’s none of mine, my lord. |
Diana |
If you shall marry,
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Lafeu | Your reputation comes too short for my daughter; you are no husband for her. |
Bertram |
My lord, this is a fond and desperate creature,
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King |
Sir, for my thoughts, you have them ill to friend
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Diana |
Good my lord,
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King | What say’st thou to her? |
Bertram |
She’s impudent, my lord,
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Diana |
He does me wrong, my lord; if I were so,
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Countess |
He blushes, and ’tis it:
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King |
Methought you said
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Diana |
I did, my lord, but loath am to produce
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Lafeu | I saw the man to-day, if man he be. |
King | Find him, and bring him hither. Exit an Attendant. |
Bertram |
What of him?
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King | She hath that ring of yours. |
Bertram |
I think she has: certain it is I liked her,
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Diana |
I must be patient:
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Bertram | I have it not. |
King | What ring was yours, I pray you? |
Diana |
Sir, much like
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King | Know you this ring? this ring was his of late. |
Diana | And this was it I gave him, being abed. |
King |
The story then goes false, you threw it him
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Diana | I have spoke the truth. |
Enter Parolles. | |
Bertram | My lord, I do confess the ring was hers. |
King |
You boggle shrewdly, every feather stars you.
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Diana | Ay, my lord. |
King |
Tell me, sirrah, but tell me true, I charge you,
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Parolles | So please your majesty, my master hath been an honourable gentleman: tricks he hath had in him, which gentlemen have. |
King | Come, come, to the purpose: did he love this woman? |
Parolles | Faith, sir, he did love her; but how? |
King | How, I pray you? |
Parolles | He did love her, sir, as a gentleman loves a woman. |
King | How is that? |
Parolles | He loved her, sir, and loved her not. |
King | As thou art a knave, and no knave. What an equivocal companion is this! |
Parolles | I am a poor man, and at your majesty’s command. |
Lafeu | He’s a good drum, my lord, but a naughty orator. |
Diana | Do you know he promised me marriage? |
Parolles | Faith, I know more than I’ll speak. |
King | But wilt thou not speak all thou knowest? |
Parolles | Yes, so please your majesty. I did go between them, as I said; but more than that, he loved her: for indeed he was mad for her, and talked of Satan and of Limbo and of Furies and I know not what: yet I was in that credit with them at that time that I knew of their going to bed, and of other motions, as promising her marriage, and things which would derive me ill will to speak of; therefore I will not speak what I know. |
King |
Thou hast spoken all already, unless thou canst say they are married: but thou art too fine in thy evidence; therefore stand aside. This ring, you say, was yours? |
Diana | Ay, my good lord. |
King | Where did you buy it? or who gave it you? |
Diana | It was not given me, nor I did not buy it. |
King | Who lent it you? |
Diana | It was not lent me neither. |
King | Where did you find it, then? |
Diana | I found it not. |
King |
If it were yours by none of all these ways,
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Diana | I never gave it him. |
Lafeu | This woman’s an easy glove, my lord; she goes off and on at pleasure. |
King | This ring was mine; I gave it his first wife. |
Diana | It might be yours or hers, for aught I know. |
King |
Take her away; I do not like her now;
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Diana | I’ll never tell you. |
King | Take her away. |
Diana | I’ll put in bail, my liege. |
King | I think thee now some common customer. |
Diana | By Jove, if ever I knew man, ’twas you. |
King | Wherefore hast thou accused him all this while? |
Diana |
Because he’s guilty, and he is not guilty:
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King | She does abuse our ears: to prison with her. |
Diana |
Good mother, fetch my bail. Stay, royal sir: Exit Widow.
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Re-enter Widow, with Helena. | |
King |
Is there no exorcist
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Helena |
No, my good lord;
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Bertram | Both, both. O, pardon! |
Helena |
O my good lord, when I was like this maid,
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Bertram |
If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly,
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Helena |
If it appear not plain and prove untrue,
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Lafeu |
Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon:
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King |
Let us from point to point this story know,
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