June Moon - Act III

Act III

The scene is still at Goebel’s⁠—the time about a month later. Goldie comes on and goes to the music racks. While she is searching for songs, Benny enters. Except that Benny never just enters⁠—he shoots on.

Benny	Where’s Hart?
Goldie	He’s out somewhere.
Benny	Did you tell him I wanted to see him?
Goldie	Yes, but he was on his way out.
Benny	What did he say?
Goldie	Nothing. He just hurried.
Benny	I’ve got to see him. I’ve got a number that will knock his eye out.
Goldie	Like “Tokyo?”
Benny	Don’t kid me about “Tokyo.” If ever a man got a crooked deal! Listen⁠—
Goldie	I’ve heard it.
Benny	You ain’t heard it all because I didn’t know it myself till last night. Harry Ruby told me at the Friars. It seems that the night I played it there, there was a fella named Stein hanging around.
Goldie	Incredulous. At the Friars?
Benny	Well, he hears my number, and he tells these other fellas, and they turn out their damn “Hello, Shanghai!” and beat me to it. It’s increditable, but that’s what happened. And on top of that Maxie says their number is better than mine because Shanghai’s further away than Tokyo. I’ll kill the two of them the first time I get them alone together, I don’t care if they got a thousand friends with them. And that ain’t all. They stole my song and I’m going to sue them for perjury.
Goldie	I think you’ll get it.
Benny	And it wasn’t only a song they stole⁠—it was a whole production. A musical comedy. That’s where the big money is. And that’s what I’m going to get into. I’ll tell you something. Confidentially. I’m not going to be with Goebel’s much longer.
Goldie	I heard that.
Benny	Who from?
Goldie	Mr. Goebel.
Benny	You couldn’t⁠—he doesn’t know it yet.
Goldie	Oh!
Benny	I’m quitting and they can see how they like that. They can get along with Stevens and his brilliant ideas. “June Moon!” The lucky saphead!
Goldie	It was on at five different stations last night.
Benny	The oldest idea in the world! And I write a great novelty number and it’s stole off me!
	Paul arrives.
Paul	To Goldie. Have you seen Stevens?
Benny	Want to hear a great song?
Paul	Still to Goldie. Have you?
Goldie	He hasn’t come in.
Benny	Get this, Paul! Tell me if you don’t think it’ll slaughter them! Benny hits one chord; Hart enters. Hello, Boss! You’re just in time!
Hart	A wave of the hand that takes care of Benny* for the moment.* Where’s Stevens? Is he in yet?
Paul	I’m waiting for him myself.
Hart	To Goldie. Call his hotel. See if he’s there.
Goldie	I did a while ago. He was out.
Hart	See if they know where to get a hold of him. Goldie goes. She loves her work, this girl. How are you coming with the new numbers?
Paul	Uncomfortably. Pretty good, only Fred don’t seem to want to work lately. He was going to meet me here at eleven.
Hart	He ought to be getting busy. He’s not going to work on his honeymoon.
Paul	No, sir.
Hart	When he comes in, tell him I’d like to see him.
Paul	Yes, sir. He goes out.
Benny	Stopping Hart* before he can escape.* Listen, Mr. Hart! It won’t take me two minutes to show you this number. It’s sure to hit you.
Hart	Anything like “Tokyo”?
Benny	I had a tough break on that, Mr. Hart⁠—that “Hello, Shanghai.” Why, do you know what? There ain’t even a telephone between New York and Shanghai!
Hart	Well, we’ll have one put in. Maxie comes on. Oh, Maxie, I was just going to send for you. There’s a young fellow outside who has written a song.
Maxie	Who is it?
Hart	That’s just the point. Somebody my sister-in-law sent, so do whatever you can for him. He’s only sixteen years old.
Maxie	And still grinding them out?
Hart	It’s probably one of those things, but you know⁠—you never can tell. Anything can happen, after “June Moon.”
Maxie	As long as you’ve brought that up, would you mind answering me a riddle?
Hart	What is it?
Maxie	Did you have any idea that was going to be a hit? Honestly, now?
Hart	Hesitantly. Well, I’ll tell you, Maxie⁠—
Maxie	Starts to leave. That’s all I wanted to know.
Hart	Do whatever you can for the lad, Maxie. He came all the way from Plainfield.
Maxie	He’ll get home safe. He goes.
Benny	Still trying. Listen, Mr. Hart, won’t you hear this?
Hart	Hear what?
Benny	This number. The title is “Give Our Child a Name.” It’ll make “June Moon” sound like a dirge. It’s a couple that give birth to a little one in two-four tempo.
Hart	It won’t do you any good knocking Stevens’s number.
Benny	I ain’t knocking his lousy number, but get this, Mr. Hart! He jumps to the piano. “Should a father’s carnal sins Blight the life of babykins? All I ask is give our child a⁠—”
	His hands descend on the keyboard in an annoyed discord as Fred* and Eileen enter.*
Hart	Well! Here’s the groom at last!
	Benny goes, banging the door behind him.
Eileen	You can blame it on me. I’ve been making him get some new clothes.
Hart	Well, you two are certainly to be congratulated.
Eileen	Thanks.
Fred	Much obliged.
Hart	But don’t forget your work. When do you sail?
Eileen	Saturday.
Fred	We sail Saturday.
Hart	Having his bit of fun. I certainly envy you. I wish I could go along.
Fred	There’s no chance, I suppose?
Hart	Not at this time of year. Visibly enjoying the situation. If you could postpone it a month⁠—
Fred	Brightening. Yah, that might be a good idea!
Eileen	Don’t be silly!
Fred	I forgot. Eileen wants to be on the Riveeria in the season.
Hart	I see. Well, I hope they don’t take you at Monte Carlo.
Fred	If they don’t take us there we can go somewheres else.
Hart	Anyhow, be sure to get your work done. He starts to go.
Eileen	Oh, Mr. Hart!
Hart	Yes?
Eileen	Fred wants to speak to you about something else.
Fred	Quickly. No, I don’t.
Eileen	But you do, dear.
Fred	I’ll ask you later.
Hart	Is anything the matter?
Fred	No, no! It wasn’t⁠—I just⁠—
Hart	Well, I’ll be in my office, if you want me. He leaves.
Eileen	Why didn’t you ask him when you had a chance?
Fred	Weakly. They’ve advanced me so much already.
Eileen	But sweetheart, you promised me. You said you’d ask him today.
Fred	I will after while. I got to find Paul now⁠—I got to go to work.
Eileen	Oh, don’t go to work yet. You never have any time for me. You don’t realize I want to be loved once in a while.
Fred	I held your hand in the taxi.
Eileen	Just think! Only three more days till we belong to each other. Isn’t it marvellous!
Fred	It’s four, ain’t it?
Eileen	Four till we sail. Only three till we get married.
Fred	I wished it wasn’t quite so soon.
Eileen	What?
Fred	I mean, on account of those two numbers.
Eileen	Don’t forget⁠—you’re to ask him for a thousand dollars advance on each of them.
Fred	But that’s too much! I’ve borrowed thirty-five hundred dollars off them already on “June Moon”⁠—maybe more than my royalties will amount to altogether.
Eileen	Don’t be ridiculous! That number will still be selling when you’re dead.
Fred	I won’t care so much then.
Eileen	Your children will. Fred is embarrassed. Don’t you want children, dear?
Fred	I don’t get along with them very good.
Eileen	You would with your own.
Fred	No. I figure I’d get along better with other people’s, because they’d go home once in a while.
Eileen	We needn’t think of that now. Let’s just think of you and me, all alone on that big boat.
Fred	We won’t be alone. The fella said it would be pretty near full.
Eileen	But we don’t have to see anybody. A bride and groom don’t generally go around much⁠—they’re supposed to be so awfully in love.
Fred	I’ll want to eat once in a while.
Eileen	They’ll serve us in our cabin.
Fred	It’ll be kind of close quarters. Maybe I could go in the dining-room and order you a meal sent up.
Eileen	And leave me all alone? I’d be scared to death.
Fred	It’s just as dangerous in the dining-room as the bedroom. If the ship sinks, pretty near all the rooms will be under water.
Eileen	Let’s not think about such things. Just think of the pleasant side. London and Paris⁠—I’m glad we’re going to Paris first, so I can get some clothes.
Fred	Clothes? What have you been buying?
Eileen	They’re all right for the ship, dear, but not the Riviera. Don’t you want to be proud of me⁠—the way I look?
Fred	But if you’re going to stay in your cabin all the time you won’t need nothing but a Mother Hubbard.
	Maxie comes back; Eileen automatically starts to go.
Maxie	Well! All ready for the big trip?
Fred	Pretty near. The boat sails Saturday.
Maxie	I don’t know what you want to go to Europe for.
Eileen	Bristling. Why not?
Maxie	Because he’s never been there. A songwriter never goes anywhere for the first time⁠—they’re always going back to places. Back to Indiana⁠—back, back to Baltimore.
Eileen	Annoyed. Fred, are you going to talk to Mr. Hart?
Fred	Yes, ma’am.
Eileen	Well, this would be a good time. She goes, in about medium dudgeon.
Fred	I’d like to be going back, back to Schenectady, but Eileen’s got her heart set on Europe.
Maxie	I hear it’s quite a place.
Fred	Yes, I guess so. I was kind of excited about it at first, but now I don’t know⁠—I don’t want to go so bad. I’m kind of tired, I guess⁠—the way we been going it lately. I’m kind of behind on my sleep.
Maxie	Appraisingly. But you’ve been having a lot of fun. All those night clubs.
Fred	I did at first⁠—dancing and everything⁠—but now my feet’s so sore I have to take a bath every day. You might as well take a whole bath as just your feet. And they ache so I can’t sleep in them. Gosh, I’m so tired all the time. I don’t have time to sleep, anyway. We shop till the stores is closed, and then we get dressed up for dinner and the evening. If I don’t get some rest soon I’ll have a nervous breakup. And everything costs so much. Eileen wants a taxi if she’s only going in the other room.
Maxie	This trip to Europe⁠—that’s going to be kind of expensive, too, ain’t it?
Fred	Yes. I always thought I’d save my money, if I ever got any.
Maxie	You picked out a thrifty girl, all right.
Fred	I kind of get thinking sometimes, maybe a man like I that’s just breaking in, maybe he shouldn’t get married so soon, especially a woman that’s got to have so many clothes. Sometimes I think it would be better if I hadn’t got engaged.
Maxie	Feeling his way. I read of a case once, in Michigan, where a man was engaged to a girl and didn’t marry her.
Fred	I didn’t read that. Have you got the clippings?
Maxie	No. But my memory’s pretty good. For instance, I remember a mighty nice little girl that was here to see you one time. I even remember her name⁠—Miss Baker.
Fred	Nervously. Maxie, you haven’t seen her or anything, have you?
Maxie	The picture of innocence. Me? No. Why?
Fred	Uneasily. I guess I shouldn’t be thinking of her at a time like this⁠—
Maxie	Are you?
Fred	I don’t know. Sometimes I⁠—
	Goldie enters, bound for those same old music shelves. It is a welcome interruption so far as Fred is concerned.
Fred	I got to find Paul. I got to do some work. He withdraws.
Maxie	Looking after him. Just one of the Happiness boys⁠—he and Pagliacco.
Goldie	With her songs. Mother song and mother song⁠—why don’t they ever write about their uncle?
Maxie	Thoughtfully. Suppose I told you I was thinking of doing something about him?
Goldie	What?
Maxie	Suppose I went even further and told you I’d already done it?
Goldie	What are you talking about?
Maxie	I’m talking about a little girl that came in here to see Stevens about a month ago. The one you sent the music to.
Goldie	Oh!
Maxie	She’s the one he ought to be marrying, instead of this whatever-she-is.
Goldie	With monumental indifference. My God, what’s the difference who marries a lyric writer? She goes.
	Maxie stands a moment, deep in thought. He drifts to the piano⁠—aimlessly, instinctively. Drops onto the bench; his fingers slide over the keys. But he is not thinking about his music.
	And then Lucille enters. A new Lucille, patently. She wears a gorgeous red dress, topped off with a coat of the same material, trimmed in white fur. But it’s not only the clothes. She has that note of assurance that only the perfectly dressed woman can have. She comes into the room slowly, confidently.
Maxie	As he looks her over. Hello.
Lucille	Where’s everybody?
Maxie	Paul’s outside somewhere. I think he’s working.
Lucille	Has Eileen been here?
Maxie	She’s around.
Lucille	Thanks.
Maxie	All dressed up today.
Lucille	Not especially.
Maxie	You look like a bride yourself.
	Lucille gives a visible start; the situation is saved by the entrance of Eileen..
Eileen	Hello! I thought I saw you!
Maxie	Well, I’ve got to get busy, if you’ll excuse me. He goes.
Eileen	Observing the dress. Oh, say, it’s a peach!
Lucille	Do you like it?
Eileen	You bet! She lowers her voice. Have you got a date?
Lucille	I think so. I’m to phone his office later on. She is not at ease.
Eileen	A look at her watch. What do you say we have lunch?
Lucille	Wait a minute.
Eileen	What’s the matter?
Lucille	I don’t want to go out there yet.
Eileen	Why not?
Lucille	I don’t feel like running into Paul.
Eileen	Aren’t you ever going to get over that? What is there to be afraid of?
Lucille	I don’t know. I’m just nervous.
Eileen	He’ll never guess anything. He’s blind and always has been.
Lucille	Thanks!
Eileen	You know what I mean. All he thinks about’s his tunes. We’ve got a chance to be happy, you and I⁠—for a while, anyhow. Let’s take it!
Lucille	You’re a funny one to figure out.
Eileen	Why?
Lucille	Taking up with Stevens this way. You always lectured me about Paul⁠—his being a songwriter. And now you’re going to go and do the same thing.
Eileen	Stevens is different. He’s a nice kid. Of course, he’s not exactly what you’d call⁠—bright.
Lucille	Bright? He’s not even born yet.
	Paul enters.
Paul	Oh, hello.
Lucille	Hello.
Paul	What’s that⁠—a new dress?
Lucille	A silly question. This?
Eileen	Sensing a storm. I’ll meet you outside, Lucille.
Lucille	Wait a minute⁠—I’ll go with you.
Paul	No, I want to talk to you.
Lucille	Scared. What?
Paul	A look at Eileen. Stay in here a minute.
Lucille	What for?
Eileen	I’ll go on out. I want to talk to Fred. She escapes, and glad of the chance.
Lucille	What’s the matter?
Paul	On the dress again. That is new, isn’t it?
Lucille	Don’t you think it’s about time?
Paul	How much was it?
Lucille	It won’t come due for a while. I may take care of it myself.
Paul	I can take care of it, if it ain’t too soon.
Lucille	I’ve got to go on out. Eileen’s waiting.
Paul	Hold on! Lucille turns, not knowing what to expect. That’s what I want to talk to you about.
Lucille	What?
Paul	About her and Fred.
Lucille	In vast relief. Oh!
Paul	She’s got him so he can’t hardly work at all. I don’t know when we’re going to finish the new numbers.
Lucille	Of course you can finish them.
Paul	But taking him off on this trip! It’s going to cost him a million dollars. And just when we’re beginning to work good together!
Lucille	You can write other numbers while he’s gone.
Paul	But that ain’t the point. I mean⁠—do you think we ought to do it?
Lucille	Do what?
Paul	Do you think they ought to go ahead and get married? He’s a hell of a nice guy⁠—I’ve kind of got to like him.
Lucille	What of it? Eileen’s a nice girl.
Paul	But⁠—you know what I mean. Isn’t it kind of a dirty trick⁠—I mean, after the way Eileen⁠—Lucille gives him a sharp look. Well, Hart and everything?
Lucille	In a low tone. You ought to have more sense.
Paul	Just the same, I don’t feel right about it. And the way she’s throwing his money around⁠—like it was confetti. Spending every nickel she can get on herself! Clothes, clothes⁠—
Lucille	You can’t go to Europe in a life belt.
Paul	Do you know what she spent in one afternoon, yesterday? Close to four hundred dollars. He pretty near cried when he told me. And I don’t blame him. He’s too nice a kid.
Lucille	She doesn’t spend that every day.
Paul	She shouldn’t have spent it at all. You should have had more sense than to let her.
Lucille	Flaring a little. How could I stop her? I wasn’t there!
Paul	Yes, you were! You were with her all afternoon.
Lucille	Quickly covering herself. Oh, yes. I thought you meant the day before.
Paul	It was Sunday, the day before.
Lucille	Yah⁠—I just mixed up, that’s all.
Paul	Anyhow, something ought to be done about it. She’s got him in debt enough.
Lucille	Nervously. I’ll talk to her about it. Starts out. Don’t you say anything to her. Don’t say anything about⁠—I mean, what she spent yesterday afternoon. I’ll go and talk to her. She gets away.
	Paul stands in thought for a moment; then he starts to go. Benny catches him in the act.
Benny	Can you listen to that number?
Paul	What?
Benny	Can you hear that number now?
Paul	Aw⁠—I got to work, Benny. Goes.
	Goldie immediately enters.
Benny	Where’s Hart?
Goldie	Can’t you think up a new question?
Benny	Where is he?
Goldie	He’s out getting a permanent. And she goes.
	Benny almost gives up; is about to leave. But then there arrives the beautiful young woman known as Miss Rixey. She heads for Hart’s door.
Benny	Without much hope. Say, do you want to hear a new song?
Miss Rixey	Sure!
Benny	Bowled over by this answer. What?
Miss Rixey	I said sure.
Benny	Darts to the piano and starts. “Should a father’s carnal sins Blight the life of babykins? All I ask is give our child⁠—”
	But Miss Rixey has not waited. Something about the rhythm has caught her ear, and she has simply gone into her dance. It has expressed itself in the form of a neat Off-to-Buffalo, right through the door and into Hart’s office. And perhaps further.
	Benny sits looking after her, stunned. As he does so Edna enters⁠—a bit uncertainly, as is her wont, but she enters.
Benny	Willing to take anything. Hello, kid.
Edna	Hello.
Benny	Want to see somebody?
Edna	I’ll be going.
Benny	Wait⁠—you want to hear a great song? You know who I am, don’t you? I’m Benny Fox, the hit-writer. I write words and music both. I’m like Berlin, only more pathetic. Now I got a new one. It’s about a couple that have a baby without benefit to a clergyman, and you can dance to it. He plays it. “Should a father’s carnal sins Blight the life of babykins? All I ask is give our child a name⁠—I mean a last name. I don’t ask to share your life, Live with you as man and wife; All I ask is give our child a name⁠— Not just a first name.” Maxie comes on. Hello, Maxie. I’ll start over so you can get this. “Should a father’s carnal sins⁠—
Maxie	Looking at Edna. Wait a minute! Isn’t this⁠—Miss Baker?
Edna	And you’re Mr. Schwartz.
Maxie	Correct!
Benny	Come on, Maxie! Get a load of this! “Should a father’s carnal sins⁠—”
Maxie	Go back to your cell! We want to talk!
Benny	But she wants to hear this number!
Maxie	Gets an idea. Listen! You don’t know who she is.
Benny	No.
Maxie	Well! Remember what happened to “Tokyo.” It’s a case of the burnt child. Benny* scoots out, throwing a look back at Edna as he goes.* My, but I’m glad to see you!
Edna	It’s nice of you to say so, anyway.
Maxie	I guess it was kind of nervy of me, calling you up that way. Hope you didn’t mind.
Edna	Why⁠—no. I⁠—I thought it was very friendly.
Maxie	Of course it isn’t really any of my business exactly, but⁠—nobody else was doing anything, so I thought I would. Probably you can guess who it’s about.
Edna	Tell me about him! What’s happened? What’s happened to him?
Maxie	Do you mind if I ask a question? I think I know the answer.
Edna	What?
Maxie	You’re in love with him, aren’t you? Edna turns away. You know, you can tell me. I’m for you⁠—I want to help you. You do⁠—love him? Edna nods. Enough to keep him from⁠—ruining himself?
Edna	How do you mean?
Maxie	He’s engaged to be married. You know that?
Edna	I⁠—supposed that was it.
Maxie	But he’s not happy. He’s not in love with her.
Edna	Breaking out. I can’t do anything! He doesn’t love me! He never did!
Maxie	Somebody’s got to do something. He’s not a fellow that can think for himself. They left that out.
Edna	Oh, why did you make me come here? I shouldn’t have done it⁠—I don’t know why I did! I’ve been trying every way to forget him⁠—I went away, and I didn’t see anybody, and then I went around with lots of people⁠—it only made it worse. I kept wanting to call him up, and once I did, only⁠—I hung up before he could come to the telephone.
Maxie	Let me bring him in here.
Edna	No, no! I don’t want to talk to him! I mustn’t!
Maxie	But he’s in trouble. And you’re the only one that can help him.
Edna	He don’t want to see me!
Maxie	Let me tell him you’re here. It can’t do any harm. Edna is silent. You needn’t answer. Only promise me one thing.
Edna	What?
Maxie	No matter what happens, come and see me afterward. Will you? Edna nods. The second door on the left, down that hall. Maxie goes. Edna is alone for a moment. Two moments, even. Then a pretty excited Fred comes on.
Fred	Hello, Eddie.
Edna	Hello.
Fred	I’m awful glad to see you, Eddie! Gee, but I’m glad to see you!
Edna	I didn’t really come to⁠—I mean, it was Mr. Schwartz that made me talk to you.
Fred	My, but it’s great to see you again! I didn’t know how great it would be.
Edna	I’m glad to see you, too, Fred. I’m glad you’re well and that you’re going to be⁠—happy.
Fred	I been thinking about you, Eddie an awful lot, lately. I been waking up in the morning, thinking about you.
Edna	Are you waking up in the morning again, Fred?
Fred	I been going to call you up to tell you about it. We used to have a lot of fun together. Eagerly. Remember that day in Van Cortlandt Park when I lost my watch and that little boy found it?
Edna	You gave him a nickel.
Fred	It was a dime. And he said, “Keep it and buy your wife a raddio set.” He thought we was married. He laughs, as though trying to induce a mood of merriment in Edna.
Edna	I remember.
Fred	You was embarrassed, all right. You got red.
Edna	Any girl would.
Fred	And then coming back we forgot to change at Seventy-second Street. That is, you forgot. I didn’t know any better.
Edna	I just wasn’t thinking.
Fred	We had to go all the way down to Times Square. That’s when we saw the flea circus.
Edna	You said one of the fleas reminded you of a man in Schenectady.
Fred	Yeah. Perry Robinson. He always walked like he’d just picked up a nail. Fred drops the pretense and comes out with it. Eddie, did Maxie say anything to you? About me.
Edna	In agony. He said you were going to be married, Fred. I should have congratulated you.
Fred	Suddenly. I don’t want to any more, Eddie! I know it now! I don’t want to!
Edna	Don’t say that, Fred! Don’t! Don’t say it unless you mean it! I couldn’t stand it!
Fred	But I do mean it, Eddie! I mean it more than anything in the⁠—
	Eileen comes on. You knew she would.
Eileen	Rather gaily. I’m sorry.
Fred	As Edna* shows signs of bolting.* No⁠—don’t go away. This is⁠—Miss Fletcher.
Eileen	Appraisingly. Hello.
Fred	And this is Miss Baker. She’s the little girl⁠—I mean, I used to know her when⁠—
Edna	Who can’t stand it. I’ll be going if you don’t mind. Goodbye, Fred.
Fred	No⁠—look! Don’t go away!
Edna	Yes, I must! I⁠—goodbye, Miss Fletcher! She rushes off. Fred* hesitates for a second; then starts out after her.*
Eileen	Fred!
Fred	Stopping short. Huh?
Eileen	Why, what’s the matter with you? One would almost think it was her you were going to marry instead of me.
Fred	Facing her. I got to tell you something.
Eileen	Why, what is it?
Fred	I don’t want to get married! I mean⁠—you and I!
Eileen	Do you know what you’re saying?
Fred	I can’t help it! I shouldn’t ever have done it! I didn’t realize!
Eileen	Well! This is a fine time to tell me! Why didn’t you wait till Friday!
Fred	I just now realized it!
Eileen	I see! And you think all you have to do is tell me and that settles it. Well, it doesn’t work quite that way!
Fred	What?
Eileen	You think I’m going to stand by and let you throw me over for that little snip!
Fred	She is not!
Eileen	Not by a damned sight! I’ll sue her for alienation⁠—that’s what I’ll do.
Fred	You can’t. She was born right here in New York State!
Eileen	You seem to have forgotten something! Did you beg me to marry you or didn’t you?
Fred	But I didn’t know then.
Eileen	You seem to have forgotten that I was engaged to another man, and that you took me away from him! What about that?
Fred	I can’t help it.
Eileen	A change of method. But that isn’t the main thing. I love you, Freddy. You made me love you. I didn’t at first, but you made me. And now you want to leave me.
Fred	But you don’t want me to marry you, if I feel that way.
Eileen	What would you think of a man that made a girl love him, when she was already engaged, and then threw her over? Do you think that would be quite⁠—honorable?
Fred	With sudden inspiration. Honorable! That’s just what I got to be! That’s why I can’t marry you!
Eileen	What do you mean?
Fred	I mean I got to marry another girl, to save her from⁠—from worse than death.
Eileen	That little kid? A gesture.
Fred	Yes!
Eileen	You mean you’ve got her in trouble?
Fred	Yes! That’s it!
Eileen	I don’t believe you! I’m going to call her back!
Fred	Stopping her. No, no! You mustn’t tell her that!
Eileen	Why not?
Fred	I⁠—I want to surprise her.
Eileen	A scornful surveying. Did you think I was going to fall for any story like that? Fred turns away. I’m the one you’re engaged to, and I’m the one you’re going to marry.
	Paul comes in.
Paul	Not interrupting, am I?
Eileen	Slowly, and narrowly observing Fred. No, I was just going. With great deliberation. We understand each other. Don’t we? She watches Fred; gets no response; goes out.
Paul	What’s the matter?
Fred	Dully. Huh?
Paul	You haven’t had a fight, have you?
Fred	Shakes his head. There ain’t anything the matter.
Paul	I thought maybe we might get after one of those numbers.
Fred	I don’t feel much like working.
Paul	I’m sorry if anything’s happened.
Fred	It ain’t nothing. I’ll be all right soon.
Paul	The only thing is⁠—there isn’t much time left if we’re going to finish before you go. Here it is Tuesday.
Fred	How about starting in early tomorrow morning?
Paul	What are you doing this afternoon?
Fred	I got to go to the French passport place.
Paul	I thought you went there yesterday.
Fred	I couldn’t. I told you I went with Eileen while she was shopping.
Paul	Oh, yah. Four hundred dollars.
Fred	She certainly knows how to spend.
Paul	Lightly. You must have had a swell time, running around with two women all afternoon.
Fred	No, I wasn’t. What two women?
Paul	Her and Lucille.
Fred	Lucille wasn’t along. Just I and Eileen.
Paul	Yesterday?
Fred	Nods. We was together from one till five-thirty. Why?
Paul	Trying to fit things together. Nothing, only⁠—and it was yesterday she spent the four hundred?
Fred	It was three eighty-seven.
Paul	That’s funny.
Fred	What’s the matter?
Paul	Slowly. I don’t know. I guess I got things kind of mixed up.
Fred	What things?
Paul	Didn’t Lucille ever meet you, during the afternoon?
Fred	No. Why?
	Eileen and Lucille look in.
Lucille	We’re going out to lunch. Want to come along?
Paul	Almost too casually. I want to talk to you.
Lucille	What?
Paul	I said I want to talk to you.
Lucille	What about?
Eileen	Catching a note of something in Paul’s* manner.* What’s the matter with him?
Paul	Where were you yesterday afternoon?
Lucille	Trying to do some quick thinking. I was⁠—out.
Paul	Quiet, but terrifying. I said, where were you?
Lucille	Do I have to report all my movements?
Paul	You do when I catch you lying! Where were you?
	Fred is following this with wide but uncomprehending eyes. Eileen is scared but wary, waiting to go to the defense if she can.
Lucille	I had an engagement! It was⁠—with an old friend of mine, and I thought you might not want me to do it, and so I told you I was with Eileen.
Fred	Beginning to understand. Oh!
Lucille	I know it was foolish of me! I was going to tell you later.
Eileen	She was going to tell you tonight! She told me so.
Lucille	Yah!
Paul	Yah? After another terrible pause. Where’d you get that dress?
Lucille	What? I bought it.
Eileen	I treated her to it, if you want to know.
Paul	Is that so? That wasn’t what you told me.
Lucille	I was afraid you wouldn’t let me take it.
Paul	After a bit of thinking. Where’d you go, yesterday afternoon? With this fellow?
Lucille	We went to a matinée.
Paul	On a Monday?
Lucille	It was at the Palace. We went to the Palace.
Paul	Taking plenty of time. Who was there?
Lucille	What?
Paul	On the bill. Who were the headliners?
Lucille	Panic in her voice. I don’t see what difference that makes.
Paul	Not raising his tone. You⁠—dirty⁠—lying⁠—double-crosser!
Eileen	That’s not true!
Lucille	Stopping Eileen. Keep still! I’m sick of the whole thing! She faces Paul. Yes!⁠ ⁠… Yes, if you want to know!⁠ ⁠… Yes and to hell with you! Did you think I was going to wait around forever for you to give me the things I wanted? God knows I waited long enough! And then⁠—I just didn’t wait any longer, that’s all. What do you know about that? Huh? What do you know about that? Paul is stunned. Turns slowly away. So⁠—that’s the way that stands! She takes a step toward the door; breaks into sobs. Eileen* goes to her; puts her arm around her.*
Fred	But⁠—but you mean to say that when you were married to him⁠—He takes a moment, trying to realize it. Then, to Eileen. But you must have known she was doing it!
Eileen	What? Why⁠—no, I didn’t.
Fred	Yes. You said you bought her the dress.
Paul	A scornful laugh. Known she was doing it! She put her up to it!
Eileen	That’s not true!
Paul	No? Well, then I’ll tell you something that is true!
Eileen	Don’t you believe him, Fred!
Paul	And thank God I’ve got the courage to tell you at last!
Eileen	He’s a liar, that’s what he is! I tell you he’s a liar!
Fred	Why, what is it?
Paul	You didn’t know your fiancée had a lover, did you?
Fred	What?
Eileen	I tell you it’s a lie. He’s just trying to separate us!
Paul	Am I?
Eileen	He’s just making it up!
Paul	She told you she was engaged to be married! Well, she wasn’t! He was her lover, and he kicked her out, and that’s why she took up with you! I’d have told you long ago, if I hadn’t been a coward!
Fred	Staggered. Turns to Eileen. Is this true?
Eileen	In final realization that the game is up. Of course it is, you little fool!
Fred	Gosh!
Eileen	That’s probably a pretty big shock to those fine upstate morals of yours.
Fred	Then I been going around all this time with a⁠—bad woman?
Eileen	And now have we both got permission to go, or does somebody else want to speak? Spotting Edna, who has been brought on the scene by Maxie. Maybe your little girlfriend would like to say a few words?
Fred	If she does, she’ll say them to me. And I’ll know I can believe them, too.
Eileen	I’m sure you’ll understand each other. What’s more, you’re probably the only two people in the world that would. Come on, Lucille. She surveys the lovers. I want to come and visit that child of yours⁠—next month. Lucille and Eileen go.
	Paul has dropped into a chair, his head buried in his hands.
Fred	Turning to where Edna* and Maxie stand.* Eddie, I⁠—I don’t have to marry her.
Edna	I’m so happy, Fred.
Fred	I’m sorry, Paul, about⁠—everything.
Paul	That’s all right. I’m glad if I helped to fix things for you. I should have told you long ago. He goes.
Fred	Only look! I’ve still got the tickets for the boat, and it says “Frederick M. Stevens and Wife.” And I wonder if the steamship people allow you to change your wife?
Maxie	Yes. If you don’t do it in midstream.
Edna	If your wife is the right kind she won’t let you take her on an expensive trip. She’ll make you put everything into a home. I don’t mean a big home⁠—just a little bungalow would do.
Fred	Bungalow! A bungalow for two! That’d be a great title!
Maxie	And I’ve got a great tune! Maxie goes into “Button Up Your Overcoat.” Fred is enchanted⁠—to him it is something that Maxie has composed on the spur of the moment. He starts improvising words.
Fred	“In a bungalow for two, Where we can bill and coo⁠—”
	Mercifully, the curtain is down.
	Curtain.