June Moon - Act II

Act II

The scene is a room at Goebel’s music publishing house. A piano, a few chairs, some shelves, and you have it. Three or four weeks have gone by since Act I.

Maxie is at the piano just amusing himself when the curtain rises. He is playing “La Boheme” and cutting loose a trifle. There enters, from one of the adjacent offices, a young woman (an employee) known as Goldie. She may have got her name because of the color of her hair or from the fact that she is really a Miss Goldberg. That point is never brought up in this play, but may some day be the subject of a musical comedy. Anyway, she comes on and busies herself looking over songs at the music shelves, on which the hits of these and other days are piled high.

Goldie	Busy with her songs. “There Never Was a Girl Like Mother.”
Maxie	Maybe it’s all for the best.⁠ ⁠… How’s the boss? Did he have a good trip?
Goldie	He says not. He says in the Middle West they’re still wild over “The Rosary.”
Maxie	That looks like a hit.
Goldie	Did Benny find you? He was looking for you.
Maxie	Not yet.
Goldie	He’s got a new song.
Maxie	That’s good. I was afraid he was written out.
Goldie	You’d better hide if you don’t want to hear it.
Maxie	No use⁠—he always gets his man. Besides, I’ve got to stick around and play Paul’s new one, “June Moon.”
Goldie	Is it any good?
Maxie	It’s got a chance. It’s a tune that’s easy to remember, but if you should forget it it wouldn’t make any difference.
	Fred plunges in.
Fred	Ain’t Mr. Hart back yet?
Goldie	Not yet.
Fred	Don’t you even know what time he’s coming?
Goldie	Can’t tell. His first day back in town⁠—he’s probably got a lot of things to do. She goes⁠—and pretty disrespectfully, too.
Fred	It’s half past four. He said he was coming back at two o’clock.
Maxie	You get used to waiting in this game. I’ve been in it twenty-two years and nothing’s happened yet.
Fred	Paul’s coming right in. We want to play the song once before Mr. Hart hears it. I made a change.
Maxie	Whereabouts.
Fred	In the refrain. We had it “Sweet night-bird, hovering above,” now it’s “winging aloft.” You see, “aloft” means the same like “above.”
Maxie	Only higher.
Fred	I wish I’d known Mr. Hart was going to be late. I could have slept some more. I had to get up at twelve.
Maxie	That must be tough after working for the General Electric, where a man’s hours are practically his own.
Fred	No. I had to be on the job at eight, every morning. But I went to bed about ten, except Saturday nights, when I seen a picture or something. I didn’t know what life was, in Schenectady.
Maxie	I bet it’s an open book to you now.
Fred	Imagine⁠—only going out one night a week and then just to a moving picture show! Down here it’s like as if every night was a special night⁠—there’s always new places to go to. Miss Fletcher⁠—she’s always locating new ones! We was in three last night! Wound up at half past seven this morning, in the Bucket of Blood! There’s a lively place! We was the last ones there. Paul and Lucille, they went home at seven, but I and Miss Fletcher stayed and she made the proprietor sell me six bottles of his gin. It’s real gin; what they call pro-war. You got to have good gin. It’s one of the things they put into what they call a Bronx cocktail.
Maxie	Is that so?
Fred	Didn’t you ever have one?
Maxie	I don’t drink. After I listen to songs all day I don’t want liquor. I just go home and take a general anesthetic.
Fred	I like Bronxes best. They’re nothing but gin and orange juice. I don’t know why they call it a Bronx.
Maxie	It’s great orange country, up there.
Fred	Anyway, I got a bargain⁠—six bottles for sixty bucks. I give Miss Fletcher three bottles for a present, because if it hadn’t been for her I wouldn’t have got them. She made the man do it. When you’re around with her you just can’t resist doing things.
Maxie	I know. That’s why I don’t carry a gun.
Fred	She’s a great sport, all right. She’d make a wonderful wife⁠—she’s such a good pal. I think a man’s wife ought to be their pal as well as their sweetheart.
Maxie	You ought to patent that.
Fred	Say⁠—how much money do you think a fella ought to be making before he could get married? In New York, I mean?
Maxie	It depends on the girl.
Fred	Buddy De Sylva makes pretty near half a million dollars a year out of just writing lyrics. I guess a man could support a wife on that!
Maxie	If she was satisfied to ride a bicycle.
Fred	Well, suppose “June Moon” is a big smash? What’s the most we could make out of it?
Maxie	It’s hard to say. Take a song like “Swanee River” and it’s still going big.
Fred	Yeah, but that’s because it was in a big production like Show Boat.
Maxie	How’s that?
Fred	And with that girl to sing it, that sits on the piano.
Maxie	You’re thinking of Ruby Keeler in The Wild Duck.
Fred	Well, whoever it was. Turns away; suddenly remembers. Oh, say! I was over to the tailor’s today. I’m getting a new suit. Miss Fletcher took me.
Maxie	That so?
Fred	It’s a blue search, with a hair-bone strip. He took my measures all over. Like I was a fighter. I’m thirty-eight inches around my chest, and thirty-three around my stomach, and⁠—I forget my thigh. Anyway, he’s got it all wrote down.
Maxie	I must get a copy.
Fred	If they like “June Moon” I’m going to have an evening dinner coat made, with a Tuxedo. I been wearing an old suit of Paul’s, but it’s too big. Miss Fletcher says it would hold two like me.
Maxie	There couldn’t be two.
Fred	She was just joking.
Maxie	I see.
Fred	They’ve given me a wonderful time, all right. They’ve introduced me to all the big stars! Gil Boag, and Earl Carroll, and Texas Guinan! I met Texas Guinan!
Maxie	She’s kind of hard to meet, isn’t she?
Fred	No. She’s one of the friendliest women I ever seen. When the girls told her who I was she said it was a big night in her life⁠—she said she’d always wanted to meet a lyric writer. I wonder what my friends in Schenectady would say if they knew I sat around and talked to Texas Guinan! I didn’t know nothing when I lived there. Even the first few weeks I was in New York, I was kind of a sap.
Maxie	That sounds incredible.
Fred	I went sightseeing to places like the Aquarium, and Grant’s Tomb, and the Central Park animal zoo, and thought I was having a great time. A little friend of mine, she took me around places she’d been to and I thought I was seeing New York because I didn’t know no better. She was from a small town, too⁠—she didn’t know no better either. Only now I’ve learned.
Maxie	What’s become of her? Did she go home?
Fred	No, she lives here. She works for a dentist. I must call her up some time and see how she’s getting along. A Window Cleaner* enters. He looks a great deal like a window cleaner.* What are you going to do?
Window Cleaner	Wash the windows.
Fred	But we’re going to try a song here. Can’t you go somewheres else first?
Window Cleaner	First! I’m pretty near through for the day. Besides, they’re singing songs all over the building. That don’t bother me.
Fred	But we’re going to sing a new one for Mr. Hart.
Window Cleaner	How much does a man get for writing songs?
Fred	It depends on the song.
Window Cleaner	Say a big hit like “Nearer My God to Thee”?
	Just before Maxie* can brain him, Paul comes on.*
Paul	Are you ready?
Fred	Yah. To Maxie. Let’s do the song now.
Maxie	Plenty of time.
Fred	I wish Hart would come, so I can get my advance royalty check. Say, where will I get it cashed? At the American Express Company?
Maxie	Or the 59th Street Bridge.
	Benny Fox bounds on. He’s a songwriter of the dangerous type.
Benny	Where’s Hart?
Fred	He ain’t back yet.
Benny	Buttonholing Maxie. I’ve got it this time! “Hello, Tokyo!” How’s that for a title? They wanted a novelty number! I guess I’ve give it to them!
Fred	I and Paul have got a hit!
Paul	Yeah!
Fred	We think so, anyway.
Benny	Paying no attention to them. In the verse I’ve got a fella here in New York that sees a pitcher of a Japanese princess and he’s nuts over her, but he can’t afford a trip to Japan just on a chance. So he calls her up-get it? “Hello, Tokyo!” Get this! Here’s the refrain! After he calls her up! He plays and sings it, the chorus being as follows: “Hello, hello, Tokyo! Girlie, you’ll excuse it, please, If I no spik Japanese. This little call will leave me broke-o, But I simply had to say, ‘I love you so.’ Believe me, dearie, it’s no joke-o; I’d gladly fly through fire and smoke-o’ To share with you the marriage yok-o, Fairest flower of Tokyo-oky-okyo!”
	But that isn’t all. Paul and Fred start expectantly toward the piano as the finish approaches, but Benny double-crosses them by plunging quickly into a second chorus. This time the Window Cleaner, who has been entranced by the whole thing, starts to beat time with his sponge. He holds the sponge directly over Benny’s head, and the resulting drips do not help the second chorus any. By way of good measure, he then chimes in on the finish, winding up with one “Okyo” left over after Benny is through playing. Benny glares at him, and he turns back to his window-washing.
Benny	To Maxie, when it’s all over. Well, what do you think?
Maxie	It would sound better in Japanese.
Benny	How about it, Paul?
Paul	It’s a pretty good number.
Benny	It’s a great number! Here’s another one⁠—just come to me last night!
	He starts to play a refrain⁠—a melody so familiar that Maxie* calmly pushes him off the bench and finishes it himself.*
Benny	A bit discouraged. Oh, you’re too wise! He goes.
Maxie	Starting to play. All right, boys!
	The Window Cleaner* decides that he doesn’t want to hear this one. He opens the window, and a good gale of wind blows most of the papers off the piano.*
Paul	Hey!
Fred	What are you trying to do?
Window Cleaner	I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was blowing so hard. I’m glad I ain’t out in a boat.
Maxie	I wish you’d been on the Hesperus. The Window Cleaner* climbs out the window, and presently disappears from view. Maxie and the boys plunge into “June Moon,” with Fred leading the singing.* “Summer winds are sighing in the trees, my dear; I am sure I know what makes them sigh: They are sad on moonlight nights like these, my dear; They are lonely for you, same as I. Sweetheart, how can you resist their plea, And the moon you used to share with me? June Moon, shining above, Will my true love come soon? June Moon, I am so blue; I know that you long for her, too. Sweet night-bird, winging aloft, Singing a soft love tune, Tell her to come to me here, To me and her dear June Moon.”
	As the song finishes, Edna, the girl of the prologue, quietly enters. Maxie* is the first to see her.*
Maxie	You got an audience.
Fred	None too pleased. Hello there, girlie!
Edna	Ill at ease. Hello.
Fred	I wasn’t expecting to see you. Ah⁠—this is⁠—you met Mr. Sears. This is Miss Baker, everybody. And this is Mr. Schwartz.
Maxie	How do you do, Miss Baker?
Edna	Hello. They told me to come in, but I’m afraid you’re busy.
Maxie	Not a bit.
Fred	We were just polishing off our number. “June Moon.”
Edna	You’ve finished it, haven’t you? It’s beautiful.
Paul	Eagerly. Did you like the melody?
	Goldie enters; she has work to do at the music shelves.
Edna	I loved it. And I love Fred’s words. I think everybody will.
Maxie	Are you fond of music?
Edna	I love it.
Maxie	We’ll send you some good stuff. Goldie! Get Miss Baker’s address before she leaves⁠—we’ll send her some music.
Goldie	Visions of more work. Oh, yeah? She goes.
Edna	An embarrassed pause. I don’t want to interrupt. Maybe I’d better be going.
Maxie	No, no! We’ll go. You stay right here!
Fred	But look, if Mr. Hart comes in⁠—
Maxie	We’ll be in Benny’s room. Goodbye, Miss Baker.
Edna	Goodbye, Mr.⁠—
Maxie	Schwartz. Maxie Schwartz. It’s a Greek name.
	Paul and Maxie go. Fred and Edna are alone.
Edna	Hello.
Fred	I’m fine. Are you?
Edna	We’re all alone, Fred.
Fred	Huh?
Edna	Nobody’s looking.
Fred	Oh! He kisses her⁠—a kiss that would easily get by the censors.
Edna	My, it seems nice again!
Fred	You bet!
Edna	Fred, what’s been the matter?
Fred	Nothing. I just been busy, that’s all. I was going to call you as soon as I wasn’t busy.
Edna	I thought maybe you were sick or something. I tried to call you up two mornings⁠—I mean, at your hotel⁠—and they said you couldn’t be waked up before one o’clock, I think it was.
Fred	That’s only because I been up late the night before, working. We got the song all finished.
Edna	It’s beautiful! I had no idea it would turn out so beautiful! It’s beautiful!
Fred	We’re going to sing it for Mr. Hart as soon as he gets here.
Edna	It’s a beautiful song. Up to now I felt it was sort of ours together. I mean, the way it started when we were on the train, and then you telling me how it was getting along every day, and now all of a sudden it’s finished and I haven’t got anything to do with it any more.
Fred	Yes, you have. When it’s published I’ll make them put your name on the cover⁠—“Dictated to Miss Edna Baker.”
Edna	Oh, Fred, I’d love that! But I’d love something else better.
Fred	What’s that?
Edna	It’s been two Sundays since we went anywhere together. Remember the day we took our lunch, and went over on the Palisades all day, and then in the evening we went to the amusement park and went on all the rides! We didn’t get home till pretty near twelve o’clock! And then we were going again the next Sunday, only⁠—we didn’t.
Fred	But that’s because I’ve been working. I told you.
Edna	You don’t have to work days and nights both.
Fred	Trying to wriggle out. I have to work when Paul feels like it. Music writers don’t keep no hours⁠—they work when they’re inspired. And it ain’t just writing the songs that takes time. You have to go around places, and keep in contract with the other boys, so you get new notions. You got to keep getting new notions in this game.
Edna	What kind of places do you have to go to?
Fred	You know⁠—places where they have music.
Edna	You mean⁠—night clubs?
Fred	Some of them.
Edna	Just you and Mr. Sears?
Fred	Well, generally we all go together.
Edna	Who else?
Fred	Paul’s wife. Lucille, her name is.
	Benny starts to come on; stops as he sees them.
Benny	So graciously, as though the interruption had been the other way around. That’s all right. Withdraws.
Edna	Doesn’t anybody else go along, to sort of even up the party?
Fred	A second’s hesitation; then he blurts it out. Nobody you know! I hardly know her myself. She just comes along because she’s Lucille’s sister and lives there.
Edna	Oh!
Fred	You can’t leave her home by herself. She’s timid.
Edna	Does she know about⁠—me, Fred?
Fred	Huh?
Edna	Didn’t you ever tell her about⁠—me?
Fred	Well, you see, we just⁠—it’s only business, and there hasn’t nothing like that come up.
Edna	What’s she like, Fred?
Fred	I don’t know. She⁠—
Edna	Hard at work. A girl like she has probably got lots of beautiful clothes. She probably makes little me look like nothing.
Fred	That part don’t matter. It wouldn’t make no difference to me if she had all the clothes in the world. Or if she was bare, either.
Edna	Is she⁠—very pretty?
Fred	Yah, she⁠—I hardly ever noticed if she was pretty or not.
Edna	What’s her name?
Fred	Miss Fletcher.
Edna	I mean her first name.
Fred	I think they call her Eileen.
Edna	That’s a beautiful name. It’s a lot nicer than mine, don’t you think?
Fred	It’s just a different name.
Edna	Is she blonde or brunette?
Fred	Both⁠—I mean she’s redheaded. That is, I never paid much attention.
Edna	How old is she?
Fred	I don’t know.
Edna	Older than I am?
Fred	A little bit, I guess. I guess she must be. She’s been on the stage.
Edna	Putting across a little mild horror. Honestly, Fred?
Fred	Yah, but don’t think⁠—I mean, that don’t mean anything.
Edna	Oh, Fred, you want to be careful! Because you take a woman like she, that’s close to forty or more⁠—
Fred	She ain’t forty.
Edna	Conceding two years. Well, thirty-eight. And she sees a young boy who almost any woman would be proud to win your affection, and there isn’t anything she might not stoop to, to entangle you.
Fred	There won’t no woman untangle me.
Edna	You can’t tell, Fred⁠—the most terrible things can happen. There was a near friend of mine, a man, and he was acquainted with a count, an international count, and he came here to New York and one night they went on a wild party and he fell in love with a beautiful chorus girl from the Metropolitan Opera Company⁠—I forgot the name of the opera. And he bought her pearls and diamonds, and in less than a week’s time he found out they was both married. That’s just what could happen to you, dear.
Fred	Who found out who was married?
Edna	Both of them were married⁠—the count and the girl.
Fred	He must have been a fine count, not to know he was married.
Edna	Fred, doesn’t it cost an awful lot of money when you go around to all these places⁠—or do they take you?
Fred	Well, that part’s going to be all right, because as soon as they take our song I’ll get what they call an advance royalties. And of course after it’s a big hit I’ll have plenty of money.
Edna	I see.
Fred	Only the first thing I’m going to do⁠—I mean, when I get my advance royalties⁠—I’m going to pay you back that little loan.
Edna	That doesn’t matter, Fred.
Fred	But I don’t like owing money to a girl. Especially a girl.
Edna	But it’s all right when two people are like you and I. That makes it all right. I’d give you everything I’ve got, only I’m afraid I’m not going to have very much from now on.
Fred	What do you mean?
Edna	I wasn’t going to tell you, but I haven’t got my position any more. I mean, with Doctor.
Fred	You mean you quit?
Edna	He discharged me.
Fred	What for?
Edna	I made a mistake. I gave Mr. Mowrey’s appointment to Mr. Treadwell, and Doctor scraped Mr. Treadwell’s bones instead of Mr. Mowrey’s.
Fred	I’m terrible sorry, Eddie. Gosh, I wish there was something I could do about it.
Edna	Snapping him up. There is, Fred, if you felt like doing it.
Fred	What?
Edna	Are you going to be busy⁠—after they hear the song?
Fred	Well, I’m afraid so⁠—tonight. I got to work with Paul.
Edna	Well, then, before that. After Mr. Hart hears it. Oh, Fred, couldn’t I stay and hear it too?
Fred	Oh, no, Eddie. When Mr. Hart’s hearing a new number he can’t have nobody around. He’s got to consecrate.
Edna	Oh!
Fred	I’ll tell you what. You can wait in the reception room or somewheres, and the minute he’s heard it I’ll come and tell you what he says.
Edna	Oh, Fred, that’s grand! Then can we go somewhere together for a little while? Have a soda or something?
Fred	Yah, I guess so.
Edna	Oh, Fred, I’m so glad! You do care a little, then? I mean, you do care whether you⁠—see me?
Fred	Of course I do. Sure. Certainly.
Edna	Oh, Fred! She presents herself impulsively. He kisses her. Everything seems all right again now. I don’t care about losing my position any more.
Fred	Yah, but⁠—Mr. Hart finally arrives. A big man, and important-looking. He crosses the room en route to his own office. Oh, Mr. Hart! Mr. Hart!
Hart	What?
Fred	We’ve been waiting for you! We’re all ready!
Hart	Ready with what?
Fred	The new number. We’ll go through it for you if you’ll just wait a minute.
Hart	What number?
Fred	“June Moon.” The number I wrote with Paul Sears.
Hart	Oh! Starts away.
Fred	I’ll get he and Maxie and we’ll run it through for you.
Hart	That’s very thoughtful. But he goes.
Fred	Yes, sir. Paul! Maxie! All right, Eddie, you go in there and as soon as the song’s over I’ll come and tell you.
Edna	All right, dear.
Paul	Coming in. Did Hart get back?
Fred	Yah! He went in there! I told him we was ready! Where’s Maxie?
Paul	He’s coming! And so he does.
Maxie	Well! Are we all set?
Fred	He’s here, but he went in there! He came in, and I talked to him, and he went out!
Paul	What do you think we better do?
Maxie	How about throwing a cordon around the building? He goes into Hart’s* office.*
Paul	Maxie’ll bring him.
Fred	Trying his voice. “June Moon”⁠—Suddenly sees Edna* again.* All right, Eddie, we’re going to sing it now.
Edna	All right, dear. I can wait happy now. She goes.
	The Window Cleaner* climbs through the window again.*
Fred	Hey! You can’t work here now!
Window Cleaner	What?
	Maxie comes back, bringing Hart..
Maxie	Here we are!
Hart	All right⁠—let’s have it. What’s the name of this song? Benny bounds on, following Hart.
Benny	Are you ready, Boss?
Hart	What?
Benny	For “Tokyo!”
Maxie	Listen, Joe⁠—these boys have been waiting since two o’clock.
Hart	All right, all right. Let’s have it. What’s the name of it?
Fred	“June Moon.”
Benny	Bitingly. Great idea!
	Goldie enters.
Goldie	Pardon me, Mr. Hart. Mr. Wayburn’s on the wire.
Hart	Can’t talk to him now. Go ahead, boys! What’s this song called?
Goldie	He wants to know if he can use the “Java” number tonight. It’s a benefit.
Hart	Who for? Him?
Goldie	I think he said the Widows of Long Island Commuters.
Hart	Oh, sure. Tell him he can have it if he pays for it.
Goldie	Yes, sir! Goes.
Hart	That’s a great number, “Java.” Great number.
Benny	Yes, sir.
Hart	Very much the big man. Do you boys want a sure-fire idea?
Paul	Yes.
Benny	Yes.
Fred	Yes, sir.
Window Cleaner	Just one of the boys. Yeah!
Hart	Write a war song. Just have it ready⁠—in case.
Fred	Is there going to be a war?
Hart	Taking them all in. I won’t say yes and I won’t say no. But in this little swing around the West I had a chance to sort of feel out the common people. Grows very confidential. I’ll tell you something. I’m not a bit comfortable about the Mexican situation.
Window Cleaner	Me neither.
Hart	It’s a dangerous situation. I don’t like it. I don’t like it a bit. A long, low whistle from Benny. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if something happened and happened soon. And when it does, the first fellow in the field is going to clean up. You boys want to watch the papers⁠—be ready for an emergency. Not only war, but these aeroplane flights all over the place⁠—television⁠—all the big inventions. A man named Brainard* comes in⁠—just a stranger.* What is it?
Brainard	Have you seen a couple of men?
Hart	What?
Brainard	Have you seen a couple of men? There’s two of them.
Hart	What men?
Brainard	From our office. One of them’s had his appendix out.
Hart	What office? Where are you from?
Brainard	Devlin, Devlin, Stewart and Devlin.
Maxie	How did Stewart crash in? Marry one of the Devlin girls?
Brainard	No. Only one of the Devlins has got a daughter. She’s Mrs. Carl Bishop, the architect.
Hart	For God’s sake! Get out of here, will you?
Brainard	But I got to find them.
Hart	Well, they’re not here. What would they be doing here?
Brainard	This is their day in this building.
Hart	We’re busy now. Come in tomorrow.
Brainard	They won’t be here tomorrow.
Hart	Listen to me; I don’t know who you are or where you’re from⁠—
	Goldie enters.
Goldie	Beg pardon, Mr. Hart!
Hart	Now what?
Goldie	George Gershwin’s out there.
Hart	George Gershwin!
Goldie	Yes, sir.
Hart	My God! He hurries out.
Fred	Who is it?
Window Cleaner	George Gershwin. He also hurries out.
Brainard	Yeah! Brainard, after a second’s hesitation, also goes, hurrying a little. Benny is next to go.
Paul	To Fred. Did you ever see him?
Fred	No.
Paul	He stole my rhapsody. He and Fred* go.*
	Maxie runs a careless scale; gets up from the piano.
Goldie	Aren’t you going out to see him?
Maxie	Make him come to me. Goes off the other way.
	Eileen and Lucille come on⁠—Eileen leads the way and seems thoroughly at home.
Eileen	Where’s everybody?
Lucille	Hello, Goldie.
Goldie	Good afternoon, Mrs. Sears.
Eileen	To Goldie. I see you’ve moved the piano.
Goldie	With vast impertinence. Not me! She goes; the women are alone.
Lucille	Well, here we are! Why don’t you go in and say hello to Hart?
Eileen	I’d rather run into him accidentally. It looks better.
Lucille	You’re not as sure of him as you let on.
Eileen	Yes, I am! Why shouldn’t I be?
Lucille	Well, the way he went away, in the first place. And he didn’t exactly keep the wires hot while he was gone.
Eileen	He wrote to me, every place he went.
Lucille	Yah, if you call picture postcards writing.
Eileen	He was busy most of the time. It was a business trip.
Lucille	He certainly sent you a beautiful view of the Detroit Athletic Club. Eileen glares at her. And that new waterworks in Cleveland. A man that didn’t care about you would have sent a picture of the old waterworks. He’s kind of a Latin type. Hot-blooded.
Eileen	You can say all you want to. Just the same, when he finds I’ve been going out with Stevens he’s going to be insanely jealous. You watch him.
Lucille	Well, maybe. But he didn’t even wire you for a date tonight. It’s the first time he hasn’t done that.
Eileen	He’s taking it for granted. That’s even better.
	Any prospective reply is cut short by the return of Benny..
Benny	Hello, there!
Lucille	Hello!
Benny	George Gershwin’s outside.
Lucille	Yeah?
Benny	Don’t you want to meet him?
Lucille	It’s too late now.
Benny	No⁠—he’s still there.
Lucille	Yah, but I’m not.
Benny	I was telling him about my new number⁠—“Hello, Tokyo!” He said it was a great idea. But I forgot⁠—you ain’t heard it. He dashes for the piano.
Lucille	It’s all right. I’ll take Gershwin’s word.
Benny	He said it would make the nuckelus of a great musical show. It’s about a fella that falls in love with a pitcher of a Japanese princess, and he calls her up on the long distance phone.
Lucille	Is she sitting home?
Benny	Yah. Why?
Lucille	I just wondered if things were the same over there.
Benny	Thinking hard. Of course in a musical show he and she have got to get together. Gets a sudden idea; a snap of the fingers. I got it⁠—he flies there! That’s what he does⁠—he flies there! Now working as if in a trance. And he arrives in cherry blossom time!
Lucille	Is that a record?
Benny	What a part for Lindbergh, if he could sing! He goes.
Lucille	We’d better be moving. We’re kind of exposed here.
	Paul and Fred return.
Fred	Hello, there! Gee, I’m glad to see you!
Paul	Not so glad. Oh, hello!
Eileen	Hello!
Paul	You two can’t stay here. We’re going to do the song.
Fred	Mr. Hart ain’t heard the song yet. Gee, I hope he likes it.
Eileen	He’ll like it all right. Lucille and I have brought you luck.
Lucille	Yah. I’m a born rabbit’s foot.
Paul	We don’t need luck, with this number.
Fred	To Eileen. If they take it we’ll have some celebration tonight! Won’t we!
Eileen	We can decide that later. I don’t know⁠—I may not want to go out tonight.
	Mr. Hart comes back. Apparently Gershwin didn’t stay long.
Paul	Here we are!
Fred	Oh, Mr. Hart!
Hart	A little flustered; he had not counted on running into Eileen* this way.* Well! I didn’t know we had visitors. Hello, Lucille.
Lucille	Hello.
	Hart turns slowly to Eileen..
Fred	Coming to the rescue. This is Miss Fletcher, Mr. Hart. Miss Fletcher’s Paul’s sister-in-law.
Hart	Yes. I’ve already met Miss Fletcher.
Fred	Still helping. Mr. Hart’s been off on a trip.
Eileen	That’s very interesting.
Fred	He’s been in all the big cities. Chicago, and Cincinnati, and Cleveland⁠—
Lucille	I understand Cleveland’s got a new waterworks.
	Hart looks at her, dumbly.
Fred	Are you ready for our song now, Mr. Hart? I mean “June Moon”?
Hart	In a minute. I’ve a little work to do.
Eileen	Quickly. Fred’s been trying very hard to learn the business.
Hart	Arrested. Yes?
Eileen	I guess we’ve been pretty nearly every place, haven’t we, hearing the new songs?
Fred	You bet! Miss Fletcher’s taken me every place. I think I know now what people want, all right.
Hart	Looking at Fred* with new interest.* Oh! So you are a friend of Miss Fletcher’s?
Fred	We ain’t been acquainted long, but⁠—well, we’re pretty good friends. To Eileen. Aren’t we?
Eileen	Yah!
Hart	Has a thought. Suppose you boys come into my office and we’ll run this song over.
Fred	You mean right away!
Hart	Yes, of course.
Fred	That’s fine. Rushing to the piano. Where’s the lead sheet and the lyrics?
Paul	Here they are!
Fred	Shall we go right in?
Hart	Yes, of course.
Fred	But where’s Maxie? We got to have Maxie.
Hart	I’ll send for him. Now then, who wrote this song?
Fred Paul	Together, as they go through the door. I did!
	The women are once more alone.
Eileen	Did you see that? He’s insanely jealous.
Lucille	Well, if that’s jealousy I’ll take a plain lemonade.
Eileen	You don’t know him the way I do! He’s burning up!
Lucille	He controlled it pretty well. He didn’t say anything about a date tonight.
Eileen	How could he, with Stevens here?
	Maxie crosses the stage, en route to Hart’s office.
Maxie	Well, it won’t be long now. He’s going to hear it at last.
Lucille	Yah. We’re waiting for the verdict.
Maxie	It’s Stevens’ first offense. They’ll acquit him on the grounds of insanity. He is gone.
Lucille	You know, if they buy that limerick, Stevens’ll be getting up a party for tonight. He was talking about it already.
Eileen	I know.
Lucille	What are you going to do about him, anyhow? He’s going to be kind of a nuisance with Hart back.
Eileen	I can handle him. He’s so far gone you can tell him anything.
Lucille	We certainly do attract songwriters, we Fletcher girls. It’s a curse.
Eileen	He’s not a bad kid. I kind of like him. And he might make a lot of money in this game. Plenty of others have done it.
Lucille	Slowly. I wonder if that damned song is any good. All of Paul’s stuff sounds just alike to me.
Eileen	Maybe Stevens’ lyrics are just silly enough to get over. I’ve got kind of a hunch that they are.
Lucille	Even if they buy it it won’t mean anything to us. Paul’s so far ahead of his royalties they’ll never catch up. He could write Madame Butterfly and it wouldn’t even get me a new girdle.
Eileen	Anyway, I’ve got Stevens broken in right, whoever gets him. You’ve got to give me credit for changing some of his ideas. I imagine every week was Thrift Week in Schenectady.
Lucille	It’s Thrift Year for me. Year after year. She drops into a chair. And I’m getting pretty sick of it.
Eileen	Why don’t you do something?
Lucille	Well, maybe I am.
Eileen	You are? What?
Lucille	Shakes her head. That’s all right.
Eileen	Don’t be a fool! What’s happened?
Lucille	Nothing exactly yet.
Eileen	Well, what’s going to happen?
Lucille	I don’t know. Nothing.
Eileen	Pleading. Will you tell me?
Lucille	Makes up her mind. Remember⁠—Ed Knowlton?
Eileen	Yes. What about him?
Lucille	I ran into him Friday, on Madison Avenue.
Eileen	Why didn’t you tell me?
Lucille	Because I knew what you’d say and I wanted to think it out for myself.
Eileen	What’s it all about? What’s he doing here?
Lucille	He’s left Chicago for good. They’re living on East Fifty-seventh⁠—he and his wife and the two kids.
Eileen	Well?
Lucille	He still likes me, and I like him.
Eileen	Has he got any money?
Lucille	He makes a lot, but he spends it.
Eileen	If he likes you that’s not a fatal drawback.
Lucille	He likes me all right.
Eileen	Can he get rid of her?
Lucille	Shakes her head. No, it’s her uncle or something owns the business. But he saw I wasn’t happy, and⁠—well, we had a couple of drinks and talked. He kept saying I ought to have nice things⁠—and that he was willing to give them to me.
Eileen	Don’t tell me you aren’t going to do it?
Lucille	I’m kind of afraid. Suppose Paul gets inquisitive?
Eileen	Paul! He doesn’t know silk from asbestos. To hell with him anyway! It’s time you had some luck!
Lucille	I don’t know what to do. You and I look at things different. But Ed’s so nice. The things he says they make me feel young again. And it’s such a relief to just talk to a man that hates music!
Eileen	Listen, if you don’t do this⁠—
	Fred runs on, all excitement.
Fred	They’re going to take it! They’ve took it! They’re crazy about it!
Eileen	Well, that’s fine! I knew they’d like it!
Fred	It’s my first song! My first one to be published!
Eileen	That’s wonderful.
Lucille	Wildly unenthusiastic. It’s quite thrilling.
Fred	They’re making me out a check for two hundred and fifty dollars! That’s just what they call an advance royalties!
	Paul returns.
Paul	They took it all right!
Lucille	So Fred said.
Eileen	Yes!
Paul	You should have heard what Hart said about the melody.
Fred	To Eileen. Aren’t you glad about the song? Aren’t you excited?
Eileen	Her mind beyond the door. I should say so.
	Hart comes in.
Hart	Expansively. Well, what do you think of this young man? Making good in his first attempt!
Eileen	It’s wonderful!
Lucille	Yes, indeed.
Hart	And Paul, too. He’s written a nice little melody. Did you get your check, Stevens?
Fred	No, sir. Not yet.
Hart	Goldie’ll bring it to you.
Maxie	Crossing to his own office. Well, thought you people would be on your way by this time.
Eileen	We are waiting for Fred’s check!
Maxie	I’ll bet you are! He’s gone.
Fred	Mr. Hart! We were all planning on going some place tonight, to celebrate the success of the song. We’d love to have you come along with us, if you can.
	A moment of embarrassment. Eileen* just waits.*
Hart	Well, now, I’d like to do that, but I’m very sorry. Hart starts talking to Fred, but shifts his gaze to Eileen. You see, I just got back from this trip, and I’m tied up with Mr. Goebel tonight.
Fred	Oh, that’s too bad.
Eileen	With more meaning. Yes, it is.
Hart	I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. Can’t tell you how much I’d like to be along. But of course, business comes first.
	A very beautiful young lady enters. Her name is Miss Rixey..
Miss Rixey	Hello, Joe. Am I late?
Hart	After clearing his throat. Miss Rixey, isn’t it?
Miss Rixey	Puzzled at this reception. What?
Hart	Ah⁠—they told me you were coming.
Miss Rixey	Coming right to him. You knew damn well I was coming!
Hart	Still trying to cover up. Did you bring those orchestrations?
Miss Rixey	Holding up a bundle which obviously contains two bottles of liquor. You mean this?
Hart	Sunk by this time; grabs her by arm and rushes her into his office. Ah⁠—just step into my office and we’ll talk business.
Miss Rixey	Listen, Joe, that driver of yours is so damn dumb⁠—
Hart	Loudly. Yes, we publish that! Right this way!
Lucille	Airily, when they are gone. Well, well, well!
Fred	It’s too bad he can’t go, but the four of us can have a good time.
Eileen	Recklessly. Have a good time! You bet we can! We’re going to have the best time any crowd ever had! Aren’t we, Freddy boy? Throws her arms around him and kisses him.
Fred	We sure are, girlie!
	Goldie comes on.
Goldie	Here’s your check, Mr. Stevens.
Paul	Great!
Eileen	Hooray! Here’s the check! She takes it.
Fred	Just in time!
Eileen	Two hundred and fifty dollars! You’ve just got to give me a great big kiss!
Lucille	Oh, you two!
Eileen	Do you love me?
Fred	You bet I do!
Lucille	Where’ll we go for dinner?
Paul	I want a good steak.
Eileen	How about the Park Casino?
Lucille	Oh, fine! I’ve never been there! I hear it’s marvellous!
Eileen	They’ve got the most wonderful band! You’ll love it, Freddie boy!
Fred	I will if you’re along!
Eileen	I’m going to be, don’t you worry about that! Wherever you are, that’s where I’m going to be!
Fred	That suits me all right!
Eileen	Come on, everybody!
Paul	Don’t forget we got to cash the check.
Eileen	Waving the check. I should say not! We’re not going to forget that, are we, Freddie boy?
Fred	You bet we aren’t!
	They are gone; Goldie* alone is left. She picks out some songs from the shelves. Edna, the girl he left behind him, peeps in, then enters.*
Edna	Do you know if they’ve heard Mr. Stevens’s song yet? I mean “June Moon”?
Goldie	Pretty hard-boiled. Yah. They did.
Edna	Starting brightly forward. Was it all right? Did they like it?
Goldie	Surveying her. They took it.
Edna	In pleased excitement. Really! Where are they? Still in there?
Goldie	Not any more. They’ve all gone.
Edna	What?
Goldie	They went out just a couple of minutes ago.
Edna	Mr.⁠—Stevens, too?
Goldie	Yah. With Mr. Sears and the two girls.
Edna	Oh!⁠ ⁠… Thank you very much.
	Goldie takes a moment to look her up and down, then goes. Edna stands stock still for a moment, stunned. The door opens and the Window Cleaner returns, sponge still in hand. He looks at Edna a bit curiously; the scrutiny is more than she can stand. All she can do is rush out.
	The room belongs to the Window Cleaner, and maybe he doesn’t realize it. He scampers over to the piano and hits a few tentative notes. Resigning himself to a musical career, he drops his sponge on the window sill and starts picking out the notes of “Hello, Tokyo!” Encouraged by his success with the first phrase, he starts again, this time singing it. Then he takes a long breath and starts again, louder this time. He is plunging recklessly into it, and oblivious of his surroundings, when Maxie comes in behind him. Maxie stands perfectly still for a second, taking in the situation. Then he makes up his mind. Turn about, he decides, is fair play. He picks up the sponge and starts feverishly washing the window.
	The Curtain Falls.