Act I

The scene is one of those Riverside Drive apartments, in a place called New York City. It is up in the neighborhood of One Hundred and Sixteenth Street, and once it was pretty good. It’s a bit run down now, and since people began moving to the East Side the neighborhood has become somewhat déclassé⁠—not more so, however, than Paul Sears, the tenant of this particular apartment.

We see the living-room, if you can call it living. There is a piano, because Paul Sears is a composer. The rest of the furniture is what you might imagine, or worse.

Paul, a commonplace-looking man in his middle thirties, is at the piano when the curtain rises. He is in his shirt sleeves and is alternately hitting a few discouraged keys and making probably meaningless notations on the music sheet in front of him. He lacks one finger of being a two-fingered piano player. He is laboriously going over the same phrase again and again. And if you had never even heard it once, it would be too often.

Lucille, his wife, comes on from the rear rooms of the apartment. A spare but still attractive woman, on whom three years of marriage with Paul Sears have left their mark. She looks around for something. Finds it. It turns out to be a copy of the Graphic. She drops listlessly into a chair and starts to read. Paul continues torturing the piano.

Lucille Addressing herself more than Paul, as she scans her paper. What do you know about that! Myra Vale’s engaged!
Paul I read it. Automobile man. Probably drives a truck.
Lucille If he does, at least she’ll have something to go places in.
Paul I got Myra her first job; I introduced her to Dillingham.
Lucille Yes, you did! She was in Nanette with Eileen and me before you ever saw her.
Paul Belligerently. Who says so?
Lucille Ask the doorman down at the Globe. He used to have to carry her in.
Paul She never took a drink when I knew her.
Lucille I can vouch for that.
Paul Jumping up from the piano. This is the last time I’ll work with Fagan! I rewrite two whole bars of the melody for him, and when I ask him to change one word of his lyric, he squawks. He’s got it “as a rose in June,” and I want him to make it “as roses in June.” Listen⁠—here’s his way he plays and sings: “As a rose in June.” And here’s the way I want it: “As roses in June.” All the difference in the world.
Lucille Wearily. It sounds just the same to me.
Paul My way gives me a triplet and makes it twice as effective! Listen! Starts hitting the same old notes.
Lucille Oh, isn’t that enough? Paul stops. Must I sit around all night listening to that?
Paul Why don’t you go out? You could go out if you want to.
Lucille Who with?
Paul You could go out with Eileen. You and her could go somewhere.
Lucille You know she’s got a date with Hart. I suppose you want me trailing along.
Paul Well, I explained to you I can’t go no place, with this fella coming up. I told you a dozen times.
Lucille I don’t expect you to take me anywhere, except maybe for a walk around the block. That’s free.
Paul I don’t enjoy laying around here no more than you do. I’m not a nun.
Lucille That’s the first I’ve heard about it.
Paul You wait till this number gets over. We’ll go everywhere then.
Lucille Tiredly. Oh, sure!
Paul You haven’t heard it played yet. It’ll be another “Paprika.” Did I tell you what Dave Stamper said about it?
Lucille Quickly. Yes!
Paul Just as though she’d said “No.” He said it was another “Paprika.” You wait till you hear it played. Dave Stamper says it’s sure fire. Back to his “playing” again.
Lucille The silliest thing in the world to me is a man trying to be a composer when he can’t even play “Chopsticks.”
Paul I can play as good as I need to. I can play as good as Berlin, and he’s turned out twice as many hits as anybody.
Lucille He knows what people want. He appeals to the women.
Paul It ruins a composer to play the piano too good. They depend on fancy harmony and tempo, instead of pretty melodies.
Lucille Giving up. All right.
Paul His eye drawn to the newspaper. Did you read that thing from that Boston paper about Pretty Polly? They say Gershwin hasn’t given them one tune. He’s pretty pleased about it, too. Ten years from now, nobody’ll know there was a Gershwin. He won’t live.
Lucille At least he won’t starve to death.
Paul It was me that was responsible for Gershwin getting his start. I brought him and Georgie White together.
Lucille Simply not listening. Why can’t you see this man in the daytime instead of asking him up here?
Paul Because I don’t want him to come in the office yet, that’s why. I’m keeping him under cover till I get rid of Fagan.
Lucille If there’s one thing that’ll round out my day, it’s entertaining a lyric-writer.
Paul This fella ain’t like the rest of them. He’s got a fresh slant. Take fellas like Fagan, that’s been around Broadway all their life, and all their lyrics sound just alike. If Fagan gave me a new idea, I’d drop dead. But this fella’s got a fresh slant.
Lucille Fagan would drop even deader if you gave him a new tune.
Paul I gave him “Paprika,” didn’t I?
Lucille That’s so long ago I don’t see how you remember it.
Paul Old man Goebel remembers it, and so does Hart. They made enough money out of it.
Lucille The eternal wife. Everybody makes money but you.
Paul Yes, they do! There’s plenty fellas around the club that’s just as flat as I am.
Lucille Ever so brightly. That makes everything all right.
Paul I’ll tell you who’s got money, if you want to know, and that’s Stevens.
Lucille Who?
Paul This lyric-writer, Stevens. He’s got money.
Lucille A lot of good that’ll do me.
Paul He’s a nice kid, too. His eye falls on his watch. If Eileen’s got a date with Hart, why don’t she keep it? It’s half past eight.
Lucille Don’t you worry about that.
Paul What about him and her, anyway? If she’s engaged to him, aren’t they ever going to get married?
Lucille You’ll know as soon as there’s anything to know.
Paul He’ll wriggle off the hook some way. If you ask me he’s getting tired of her already.
Lucille With sudden interest. What makes you think so?
Paul Just the luck I’m running in. If I ever marry again, it’ll be a woman without a sister.
Lucille She don’t cost you much, and she’s company for me.
Paul What’s the matter with her getting a job somewheres? The telephone rings.
Lucille Yeah. You ought to be able to place her, with your influence.
Paul

At the telephone. Hello.⁠ ⁠… Oh, hello, Maxie!

There enters, from the rear rooms, Eileen. She has been drawn by the ring of the telephone, and comes on eagerly, expectantly. She is a young woman in her late twenties, and has plenty of good old-fashioned sex appeal. But with it she is a bit hard, a trifle worldly. She wears a good-looking and rather revealing negligee, and is carrying what seems to be an evening dress, on which she has been sewing, or trying to sew. She stops short as she senses that the phone call is not for her; relaxes. From her mouth comes a cloud of cigarette smoke. Paul, of course, has kept right on with his phone conversation.

Sure⁠—going to be here all evening.⁠ ⁠… All right.⁠ ⁠… Fine! He hangs up; turns to Lucille. Maxie’s coming over. Wait till you hear him play it⁠—a gesture toward his music⁠—then you’ll see!

Eileen Drifting over to Lucille. What time is it?
Paul Going right on. It’s going to be another “Paprika.”
Lucille Reaching for the dress that Eileen has brought along. Want me to do that?
Eileen I’ll go crazy, waiting around here!
Paul You can’t stop him. If I team up with this new fella you’ll hear some hits.
Lucille Handing over the paper to Eileen. Did you see this? Myra Vale’s announced her engagement.
Eileen Who to, for God’s sake?
Lucille Nobody we know.
Eileen Reading. No. And nobody that knows her, you can bet on that.
Lucille Paul was trying to tell me he got her her first job; introduced her to Dillingham.
Eileen Oh, sure. He introduced Rogers to Peet, didn’t he?
Lucille Indicating the dress. This isn’t going to last much longer.
Eileen I know it.
Lucille Why don’t you look around Monday? See what you can find. Maybe I will. I’m lazy, I guess.
Eileen I’ve just been putting it off.
Lucille I’d never be too lazy to shop, if I had anything to shop with.
Paul You wait till this number gets over.
Lucille Quite pleasantly. By that time I’ll only want a shawl.
Paul Finally flaring up. There’s nothing helps a man like being married to a woman that always encourages you and looks on the bright side. I’m going to write an article for the American Magazine, saying I attribute my success to my wife.
Eileen Why don’t you try writing articles? They might be pretty near as good as your tunes.
Paul You don’t have to worry about my tunes. Anyhow, I was talking to Lucille.
Eileen It’s time you did something more for Lucille besides talk to her!
Paul If I was in your place, I’d keep pretty still in this house. That is, unless I was paying board.
Eileen It’s a good battle, by this time. Don’t you dare say I’m dependent on you, because I’m not!
Paul Only for your meals and a place to sleep!
Eileen You wouldn’t even have a job if it wasn’t for me! Do you think Hart is keeping you on the staff because you wrote a hit three years ago?
Lucille Now!
Eileen Well, make him lay off me, if he knows what’s good for him. If he keeps riding me, he’ll be looking for a new job!
Paul Swell chance of them letting me out when I’ve got a number like “Montana.” I’d run right to Harms with it.
Eileen Harms wouldn’t let you in their elevator!
Paul As he goes proudly into the next room. I was in it this afternoon!
Eileen A long, long sigh. Is Hart going to phone or isn’t he? It gets me crazy, this waiting.
Lucille I wouldn’t mind waiting if there was something to wait for. I nearly go out of my mind, just sitting. You hear women brag about the nice, cozy evenings they spend at home with their husband. They’re not married to a piano tuner with ten thumbs.
Eileen Hoping against hope. Maybe he didn’t get back from Philadelphia. He might still be over there.
Lucille What time was he going to call up?
Eileen Six o’clock. He said he’d call me the minute he got in. Maybe the train was late.
Lucille They aren’t late very often, from Philadelphia.
Eileen It’s the only evening we’ll have for three weeks, with him going away again tomorrow. Restlessly pacing. If he was going to be late you’d think he’d try to reach me.
Lucille Of course, you know him better than I do, but when a man’s really crazy about a girl, he calls her up, I don’t care what he’s doing. It’s only when he begins cooling off that he finds excuses, like being in Philadelphia.
Eileen But he was in Philadelphia.
Lucille I know, but they’ve got phones there now, too.
Eileen If you think he’s cooling off you’re crazy! He’s insanely jealous. When I told him I was thinking of going out with Bert Livingston he was sore as hell. He said, “All right, go ahead and go out with him.” I asked him if he meant it, and he said, “Sure! Go out with the whole Lambs Club!” He’s insanely jealous and tries to hide it.
Lucille I’d go out with the janitor if he asked me. God, I’m sick of this place!
Eileen Why don’t you go to a picture?
Lucille They charge admission. A little sardonic laugh. Remember the way I used to figure when Paul first came along? I thought marrying a songwriter meant going to all the first nights, meeting everybody that was worthwhile, going down to Palm Beach⁠—
Eileen You would, too, if Paul was any good.
Lucille I wonder what it’d be like if we’d stayed in Stroudsburg. I’d probably be married to Will Broderick, and we’d have a car⁠—
Eileen To drive over to Scranton in.
Lucille A sigh. I suppose I ought to get consolation out of one thing. I never expect a phone call or a mash note or an invitation or even a half pound box of candy. Whatever happens is velvet.
Eileen You’re a fool if you keep it up. You ought to break away while there’s still time.
Lucille That’s an easy thing to say. I haven’t got any grounds, in the first place.
Eileen You wouldn’t need grounds. Just get him up in court and let the judge look at him.
Lucille And even if I did get free, where am I? I’m not young any more. No man under sixty would look at me.
Eileen Well, men over sixty are more liable to have money than boy scouts.
Lucille I don’t like old men.
Eileen Who does? Just the same, they’ve got their good points. They sleep eighteen hours a day. And they’re like little kids-they believe everything you tell them.
Lucille I never could fool anybody. That’s why I’ve been afraid to try anything, with Paul. He knows when I’m lying to him, every time.
Eileen Him! He isn’t even listening to you! You could have callers right in this room and he wouldn’t hear them come in⁠—not with all those God-given melodies ringing in his ears.
Lucille What’s the use of talking about it? There haven’t been any volunteers. Women can’t go wrong if they’re not invited.
Eileen All I can say is, if you don’t break away from him, you’re crazy!
Lucille And if I did, do you know what would happen? He’d write ten smash hits in a week. That’s my luck.⁠ ⁠… God! It would be wonderful to have some clothes and hold up my head again!
Eileen I’m through arguing with you. You’re hopeless.
Lucille You’d better be thinking about Mr. Hart. You may be as bad off as I am.
Eileen Don’t you worry about me! If he wasn’t crazy about me, why would he be so insanely jealous? He’s insanely jealous!
Lucille Has he ever said anything halfway definite? About marrying, I mean?
Eileen Not in words, exactly.
Lucille What did he say it in?
Eileen He must be thinking of it. He doesn’t ever go out with anybody else.
Lucille Trying to recall what Eileen had said. How long’s he going to be gone this time⁠—three weeks?
Eileen Yeah⁠—about. He’s got to go to Chicago, and⁠—a lot of places.
Lucille What are you going to do with yourself all that time⁠—just sit around?
Eileen Maybe he’ll treat us to some shows⁠—I’ll ask him tonight. Maybe he’ll get us seats for some shows.
Lucille Do they still have seats at shows?
Eileen Restless again. Only I wish that thing would ring!
Lucille Why don’t you go out with Bert or somebody, while he’s gone? It might be a good thing for him.
Eileen Do you want to get me murdered? I tell you he’s insanely jealous. The door bell rings. Who’s that?
Lucille Maxie, I guess. Starting for the door. Or maybe that lyric-writer.
Eileen Who?
Lucille Disappearing into the hallway, talking as she goes. You know, that’s coming to see Paul. From Albany or some place.
Eileen Oh!
Lucille Of course he couldn’t meet him in the daytime. He has to bring him up here in the middle of the night⁠—Having opened the outside door. Oh, it’s you!
Maxie Outside. Hello, there!
Paul comes back into the room.
Paul Who is it? Maxie?
Maxie Yah, Maxie. He is a man in his late forties, easygoing, kindly. Wears a dinner coat. He is an arranger for Goebel’s, and he knows the popular song business backwards.
Paul Hello!
Maxie Well! All staying home on a Saturday night?
Lucille All nights are alike up here.
Eileen You didn’t come right up from the office, did you?
Maxie Indicates his dinner coat. Do I look it? I’m playing down at the Orchard this week. Pounding the piano for a lot of morons. I envy you people that can spend an evening at home.
Lucille With emphasis. Yes. It’s a great treat.
Paul I want the girls to hear the “Montana” number, the way it sounds when it’s really played.
Eileen starts to go.
Maxie OK.
Paul Stopping Eileen. Hey! He’s going to play the “Montana” number.
Eileen That’s all right. I’ll close the door. She leaves.
Paul Go ahead, Maxie. She don’t know anything.
Maxie Think of me slaving down at the Orchard while you people enjoy all the comforts of home.
An impatient movement from Lucille..
Paul Go ahead with “Montana.”
Maxie It certainly was a tough day for me when Edison invented the piano. Fixing up other people’s tunes⁠—there’s a life work for you.
Paul Go on.
Maxie His fingers rambling over the keys. You know, I might have been a songwriter myself but I got stuck on my own stuff. I wrote tunes nobody ever heard before⁠—they wouldn’t stand for it.
Paul Prompting with a gesture.Montana.”
Maxie About to start, but resumes talking instead. That was a great idea of Fagan’s, writing a lyric about Montana. I’ve often wondered why lyric writers stayed out of the Northwest.
Paul Maybe Fagan was born there.
Maxie Naw! Shamokin, Pennsylvania. If songwriters always wrote about their home state, what a big Jewish population Tennessee must have. He starts playing a popular tune⁠—the telephone rings. Paul takes it up. · ·
Paul Hello. This is him.⁠ ⁠… Oh, hello!⁠ ⁠… Where are you at now?⁠ ⁠… Well, you better hop in a taxi⁠—it’s quite a ways yet. Eileen makes another expectant appearance in the doorway⁠—departs in disappointment as she learns that it still isn’t her call. 448 Riverside Drive. Tell him just above 116th Street.⁠ ⁠… That’s it. He hangs up; addresses Maxie, who continues to drum. That’s Stevens, the lyric writer I was telling you about. From Schenectady.
Maxie Thank God he can’t get that in a lyric.
Paul He had the phone number, but he didn’t know the address.
Lucille How’d he get the phone number?
Paul Telephone book, I guess.
Lucille And then he called up for the address? She shakes her head⁠—it’s too much for her. I want to meet him.
Paul To Maxie. You’ll like this fella. He’s young yet. He’s got a fresh slant.
Maxie What does he do⁠—write about counties instead of states?
Paul I’ve been thinking maybe he and I could do something together, if I can get rid of Fagan.
Maxie Fagan isn’t so bad. Only he’s using up his ideas too fast. “Montana Moon.” He puts a state and a moon all in one song.
Paul

Are you going to play it? Maxie plunges into the preliminary chords; Paul comes to life and sets himself to sing. Raises a warning finger in the direction of Lucille. Now listen!

“Golden West that seems so far away,
Golden girl for whom I’m always pining,
Don’t you know I love you night and day,
But chiefly when the full bright moon is shining!”

He takes new breath for the chorus. Lucille, meanwhile, is listening intently, but hardly enthusiastically. In fact, you might almost think she didn’t like it so much.

“Montana moonlight,
As bright as noon light,
Oh, may it soon light
My way to you!
I know you’re lonely,
My one and only,
For I am lonely,
Yes, lonely, too.”

At this point Lucille simply goes back to her sewing. Paul’s tone grows sharper as he sings, and she resigns herself to further listening.

“My heart is yearning.
For kisses burning,
For lips as sweet as a rose in June.
I’m always dreaming.
Of your eyes gleaming,
Beneath the beaming.
Montana Moon!”

Maxie plunges into a second chorus as Paul presses Lucille for an opinion. Don’t it sound great? The way Maxie plays it?

Lucille Delivering the verdict. I don’t think Berlin will kill himself.
Paul It’s nothing like Berlin. Play it in two-four and it’s a great dance tune. Maxie is obliging. Paul sings a strain of it and dances.
Lucille You don’t get Berlin’s songs to dance to. You get them to cry to.
Paul All right. You can cry to this, too. “My heart is yearning for kisses burning.” That’s sad.
Lucille Yes, but there’s something behind his songs. Sighs. They’re sympathetic.
Paul Do you want to know why? Because he gets a little sympathy now and then! He’s appreciated at home! He don’t sit around here night after night with you yapping your head off at him, telling him he’s all through!
Maxie Now, now! You’re going to write plenty of hits.
Paul Sits. Well, it makes a fellow lose confidence in himself.
Lucille I’m trying to help you, not hurt you.
Paul You go about it in a funny way. Eileen comes back; is lighting a cigarette.
Maxie She doesn’t mean anything. Of course she wants to help you. But this number⁠—I wouldn’t count on it too much if I were you.
Lucille What do you mean?
Paul Why not?
Maxie I just wouldn’t⁠—that’s all. You can’t tell which way they’re going to jump these days.
Paul They’ll snap this one up. Unless they’re crazy.
Lucille Keep still a minute. To Maxie. What’s happened?
Maxie Reluctant. Nothing definite. Only they were talking about it⁠—Hart and Goebel.
Paul When were they?
Eileen Has heard just enough. What did you say?
Maxie Huh? I said Hart and Goebel were talking about Paul’s new number.
Eileen When?
Paul What did they say about it?
Eileen You mean they were talking about it today?
Maxie Sort of.
Eileen In the office, you mean?
Maxie Yah. Sure.
Eileen What time?
Maxie I don’t know. Five o’clock.
Eileen Goebel and⁠—Hart both?
Maxie Yah. Why? Eileen takes a moment to digest this bit of information; her eyes meet Lucille’s. Then, with a sudden movement, she turns and leaves the room. Lucille, after a thoughtful second, follows her out. Maxie looks after them, uncomprehending. Then he turns back to Paul. Did I say something dirty?
Paul That don’t matter. What did they say about the song?
Maxie But I don’t understand⁠—
Paul Listen⁠—what did they do? Turn it down?
Maxie He has to say it. Right now they don’t want it.
Paul Hotly. When did they hear it? After I left?
Maxie They asked me, so there was nothing for me to do but give it to them. I had Nate sing it.
Paul It’s the lyric kills it! The melody’s sure fire! Even if it don’t sell over the counter it’d get a good mechanical break.
Maxie Brightly. Maybe you could sell it outside.
Paul It makes a man look like a fool, working for one house and selling your stuff to another. He drops into a chair, discouraged.
Maxie You mustn’t let it worry you. The next one’ll be great, and you’ll forget all about this.
Paul What else did they say⁠—when they heard it? Anything about me?
Maxie What could they say about you?
Paul If I don’t deliver pretty soon they’ll let me out. I’ll be like all those fellows that come around every day with another tune. The door bell sounds. I guess this is Stevens.
Maxie Who?
Paul Stevens⁠—that lyric writer.
Maxie Maybe he’s just what you need. Maybe he’ll make all the difference in the world.
Paul His stuff’s pretty good⁠—what I’ve seen of it. Disappears into the vestibule.
Maxie Cheerily. There you are! Everything’ll be fine! You see! He is playing the piano again.
Paul In the hallway. Hello, Stevens! Glad to see you!
Fred Hello, Mr. Sears!
Paul Put your hat and coat on the chair. Come right in! This is Maxie⁠—Mr. Schwartz. Shake hands with Mr. Stevens.
Fred Glad to meet you, Mr. Schwartz.
Maxie Playing with one hand and shaking hands with the other. Hello, Stevens.
Lucille strolls back, eyeing the new arrival.
Paul And this is my wife. Dear, this is Mr. Stevens.
Lucille How are you?
Fred Right there with an answer. I’m all right.
Lucille Paul tells me you’re a songwriter yourself.
Fred Modestly. Just the words.
Lucille Well, that’s all Paul needs⁠—that and the music.
Fred I’ve always been one of Mr. Sears’ greatest admirers. I’ve admired Mr. Sears ever since he wrote “Paprika.”
Lucille You’ve got a good memory.
Paul Maybe Stevens and I will turn out another “Paprika.”
Fred I’m anxious to get started, all right. Since I got to town, all I’ve done so far is spend money.
Lucille Expansively. Well, you’re quite a stranger!
Paul Sit down.
Fred Thanks. I guess I’m a little late. I got off the wrong subway station and there was an old woman there selling papers, and I stopped and talked to her because I knew she must be somebody’s mother.
Maxie Who has never stopped playing. A fresh slant.
Fred I was right too, because she told me she has six sons. I feel sorry for old women that has to earn their living.
Lucille What do the boys do⁠—rent her the stand?
Fred No, most of them are in a hospital and two of them had their foot cut off. She told me all about it and I give her a dollar.
Paul You want to be careful in a place like New York. There’s all kinds of people waiting to take your money away from you.
Fred It’s a great city, all right. Today I took the ferryboat over to Staten’s Island and back. He explains it to Lucille. It’s an island and you have to take a ferryboat. But I suppose you been there.
Lucille I go there a lot⁠—just for the trip.
Fred I seen the Goddest of Liberty, too⁠—I mean the statue. It cost a million dollars and weighs 225 ton.
Maxie Gently. She ought to cut out sweets. He indulges in a fancy run.
Fred A gesture in the direction of Maxie. He can play the piano!⁠ ⁠… And I seen some of the big ocean liner steamboats. I seen the President Harding just coming in from London or Europe or somewheres, and the other day I seen the Majestic tied up to the dock. She’s pretty near twicet as long as the President Harding and weighs 56,000 ton. The President Harding only weighs 14,000 ton.
Lucille Imagine!
Fred To Lucille. Have you been through the Holland Tunnel?
Lucille No, I haven’t.
Fred To Paul. Have you been through the Holland Tunnel?
Paul No.
Fred Not for a minute giving up. Have you been through the Holland Tunnel, Mr. Schwartz?
Maxie I’ve been waiting for somebody to go with.
Fred I’ll go with you!
Maxie Fine!
Fred I want to go every place so as to get ideas for songs. I was telling Mr. Sears about one idea⁠—I haven’t got it written yet-it’s a song about the traffic lights. Green for “Come ahead!” and red for “Stop!” Maybe a comical song with a girl signaling her sweetheart with different colored lights in the window; a green light when it’s all right for him to call⁠—
Lucille And a red one when her husband’s home.
Fred Shocked. No, I was thinking about her father. I wouldn’t write about those kind of women⁠—I got no sympathy for them.
Lucille I guess you’re right.
Fred I was thinking of another idea on the way up here. Maybe a song about the melting pots⁠—all the immigrants from overseas who’ve come to the Land of Liberty. Take the Jews⁠—do you know there’s nearly two million Jews in New York City alone?
Maxie What do you mean alone?
Fred And then there’s the Hall of Fame, up to Washington Heights. They got everybody up there. Washington, Lincoln, Longfellow. They got two dozen⁠—what do you call ’em⁠—busts?
Lucille Sweetly, to Paul. That’s the place for you, dear.
Fred No. A man’s got to be dead for twenty-five years.
Lucille Well, that fits in.
Maxie It’s too much for him. I’ve got to be going along.
Paul Wait! I want Stevens to show you one of his lyrics⁠—have you got that one with you? About the game?
Maxie I’ve got to be downtown at ten.
Paul This won’t take a minute. To Fred. Go ahead.
Fred I’ll have to explain first, so you’ll understand. The idea came to me at a football game between Syracuse and Colgate. They beat them, and they felt pretty bad, so the idea come to me for this little song. I call it “Life Is a Game.”
Maxie A novelty!
Fred Here’s the verse. Are you ready?
Paul Yeah.
Fred

“I don’t know why some people cry
When things appear to go wrong;
I always say ‘Laugh and be gay!’
Things cannot always go wrong!
No use to pine, no use to whine,
Things will come right if you just give them time.”

That’s the verse.

Lucille Uh-huh!
Fred

Then here’s the refrain:

“Life is a game; we are but players⁠—”

Maxie Hey, bring it here! Maybe we can put some music to it.
Fred Just play some chords.
Maxie I’ll see if I know any.
Maxie Sings as well as he can to Maxie’s improvisation.

“Life is a game; we are but players
Playing the best we know how.
If you are beat, don’t let it wrangle;
No one can win all the time.
Sometimes the odds seem dead against you;
What has to be, has to be,
But smile just the same, for life is a game,
And God is a fine referee.”

Maxie picks up the last line and sings it again, tacking on a rousing musical finale to fit. It is really the finish of “All Those Endearing Young Charms,” but so far as Fred is concerned it has been composed especially for his lyric. He is beaming with pleasure.

I haven’t got the second verse yet.

Maxie You won’t need one.
Lucille I like a song with love interest.
Fred Well, I got an idea and a title for another one⁠—I mean, of course I got lots of ideas, but this one, I told it to a party and she⁠—he catches himself, embarrassed⁠—I mean, this party seemed to think it was pretty good.
Paul Let’s hear it.
Fred It’s just a title. You told me you’d rather have just a title and then write the tune first.
Paul What’s the title?
Fred June Moon.” That’s the title⁠—“June Moon.”
Maxie A war song.
Fred No, no. The verse will be about a fella that’s met a girl in June, when there was a moon shining, and then something happened so that she went away, or maybe he went away, and then whenever he looks up at the moon after that, he thinks of her. In the second verse, she’ll be doing the same thing for him.
Lucille That’s fair enough.
Paul I don’t know⁠—another moon song.
Maxie Dashing to the piano.June Moon”⁠—I’ve got it!
He ad-libs a melody; Fred chimes in with some extemporized words.
Fred Singing. June Moon, how I wish you so-and-so, how I miss my so-and-so, spoon! He comes out strong on the “spoon”⁠—that’s right, anyhow.
Meanwhile the phone has rung again, and under cover of the music Lucille has answered it.
Lucille Hello.⁠ ⁠… No, this is Lucille. Just a minute. She puts down the receiver. Eileen!
Paul Who has managed, despite the confusion, to make mental note of Maxie’s melody. Well, I might be able to dig up something for that.
Fred Plunging expansively into explanation. I got the idea coming in on the train. I happened to look out of the window⁠—
He stops abruptly as Eileen comes back on. She has put on a dress, but, in view of the news that Maxie had brought, not the evening dress. She looks smart, however, and Fred is impressed, to say the least. Paying no attention to anyone, she heads straight for the telephone.
Eileen Hello!⁠ ⁠… Oh, no, not at all. To say that the lady is sarcastic is putting it mildly. What train?⁠ ⁠… You’re sure of that, are you? Nothing, only I thought you might be mistaken. Everybody makes mistakes, you know. It’s a good chance for Maxie to escape, and he leaps up. While Eileen is still talking he manages to get out⁠—“Goodbye, everybody! I’m due at the Orchard! Glad to have met you, Stevens,” etc. Paul follows him out with: “Now look! Don’t say anything to Fagan, because I don’t want him to know until⁠—” The voices die out. Fred, a bit embarrassed, is left alone with the two girls, while Eileen continues her phone talk. Yes, I can imagine. It must have been terribly tiresome in Philadelphia all day.⁠ ⁠… What?⁠ ⁠… Oh, really? Her tone indicates that this is the body blow. I thought you were leaving tomorrow.⁠ ⁠… What time tonight?⁠ ⁠… My, it must be important!⁠ ⁠… Then⁠—I won’t have a chance to say goodbye before you go.⁠ ⁠… Oh, no, don’t trouble yourself⁠—it’s quite all right.⁠ ⁠… Yes, I’m sure you are⁠ ⁠… No, I don’t mind a bit. I’m just sorry you have to spend the night on a train, that’s all.⁠ ⁠… Oh, perfectly!⁠ ⁠… Have a pleasant trip. But she doesn’t mean “pleasant trip.” She hangs up; a look flashes between her and Lucille.
Lucille Coming back to the present. Mr. Stevens, this is my sister, Miss Fletcher. Eileen⁠—Mr. Stevens. She gives a broad wave of the hand, as if to say, “And if you want him, he’s yours.”
Eileen Her mind on the telephone. Hello.
Fred I’m glad to meet you, Miss Fletcher.
Eileen Thanks.
Lucille Mr. Stevens is a lyric writer. He’s from Schenectady.
Eileen Oh, yes. Have you been in New York long?
Fred Just a couple of weeks. I’m from Schenectady.
Eileen A lot she cares. Schenectady, eh?
Lucille With the air of a person who is washing that up. Schenectady.
Fred I was with the General Electric Company, but I left them.
Eileen I suppose they’ve closed down?
Fred Who knows better than that. No. I had a postcard today from a fella that works there.
Lucille Mr. Stevens has been all over New York, getting ideas for songs.
Eileen Do you like it?
Fred Yes, I like it fine, but it costs money to live here. For instance, I had breakfast in the hotel this morning and it was ninety cents for salt mackerel and mashed potatoes and a cup of Instant Postum.
Lucille No wonder you think New York’s expensive! A few more breakfasts like that and you won’t have any money left.
Fred I still got plenty.
Lucille Really? She flashes a look to Eileen. I’ll bet you haven’t been to any of the real places, have you? It takes a New Yorker to find those.
Fred I seen the Goddest of Liberty.
Lucille Oh, I mean the night places!
Fred I seen it at night.
Lucille Oh, no! Restaurants!
Fred Huh?
Lucille Mr. Stevens would love those. To Eileen. Wouldn’t he?
Eileen Slowly coming to. Yah.
Lucille I’ll tell you what! Why don’t we make up a party⁠—the four of us⁠—and show Mr. Stevens the town!
Fred You mean tonight?
Lucille What do you say, Eileen? How about it?
Eileen Thinking hard; her eyes go involuntarily to the telephone. Why⁠—sure! I don’t know why not! Sure!
Fred Well, wait! It’d be great to go, all right, only the trouble is I got another engagement!
Lucille Oh, but you could put that off!
Eileen Of course you could!
Lucille As Paul reenters. Paul had another engagement, too. He broke it on your account, didn’t you, dear?
Paul To whom this is news. What?
Lucille We thought it would be fun for the four of us to go out some place, but Mr. Stevens doesn’t want to.
Fred It ain’t that I don’t want to, but⁠—
Lucille You know, you really ought to. Paul was just saying that what you needed was to go places where they do the latest numbers and hear what kind of songs are getting over! That’s true, isn’t it, Paul?
Paul Ah, yes! Sure!
Lucille Of course it is! Are we all set?
Fred Well, I want to go all right. It’s only I don’t know on account of this other engagement.
Eileen But you could do something about that. You could go if you really wanted to. So close to him that he is groggy. Don’t you⁠—want to?
Fred Hesitating. Well, I ain’t dressed to go out. I mean, to some swell place.
Eileen We’ll go where we don’t have to dress.
Lucille How about the Orchard? Wouldn’t Maxie be surprised to see the four of us stroll in?
Eileen Lucille and I’ll go right in and get our things on. A movement.
Paul Well, wait a minute! It’s just that I didnt happen to bring much money with me⁠—
Lucille Oh, that’s all right. Mr. Stevens can be the treasurer tonight and you can fix it up with him later!
Eileen As long as you’re going to be partners!
Lucille Come on! Let’s hurry!
The Girls rush off.
Paul Is that all right with you?
Fred Looking after the pair. Say, she’s quite a girl, isn’t she?
Paul Who? Eileen?
Fred Does she live here with you all the time?
Paul Yah. She does.
Fred She’s a regular New York girlie.
Paul Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad notion for you to knock around a few nights⁠—I mean, before we start working. Might give you some ideas.
Fred I’m willing.
Paul Great!
Fred Say, can I use your phone a minute?
Paul Sure. Do you want the book?
Fred No, I know the number. Takes receiver off. Rhinelander 4160.
Paul I’d better clean up a bit.
Fred Look! They was talking about this Orchard. That ain’t one of them expensive places, is it?
Paul No. Just about average.
Fred Hello.⁠ ⁠… I want to speak to Miss Edna Baker, please.⁠ ⁠… Yes. To Paul. I mean, what do you think it would be likely to come to for the four of us? More than ten dollars?
Paul Vaguely. No⁠—not unless we go on to some other place. You’ve got more with you, haven’t you?
Fred What other place?
Paul One of the other clubs.
Fred But I don’t-hello.⁠ ⁠… Hello.⁠ ⁠… Eddie?⁠ ⁠… I want to tell you something.
Paul I’ll go and wash up. Departs.
Fred Well, I’m up there now, but that isn’t⁠—Sure.⁠ ⁠… Yeah, it looks all right.⁠ ⁠… No, I’m still here. There was a piano player here from Goebel’s. He liked my stuff and made up a tune to some of it.⁠ ⁠… Yeah.⁠ ⁠… He said it was all right. But that isn’t⁠ ⁠… what I called up to say was I can’t get around there till late.⁠ ⁠… No, it’ll be later than that. There’s no telling what time it’ll be.⁠ ⁠… We got to study some songs.⁠ ⁠… Paul Sears and his wife.⁠ ⁠… No, no, don’t think that. It’s a business proposition. They’re taking me to a place where we’ll get some ideas.⁠ ⁠… Just the three of us.⁠ ⁠… But you know I’d rather be with you. Eileen comes back, coat over arm. But I can’t.⁠ ⁠… I can’t.⁠ ⁠… They’re taking me. I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.⁠ ⁠… That’s all I can say now.⁠ ⁠… I can’t.⁠ ⁠… In the morning.⁠ ⁠… Good night. Hangs up.
Eileen You seem to be having your troubles.
Fred No, that wasn’t anything. Just a⁠—friend of mine.
Eileen Is she nice?
Fred It isn’t anybody. Just a little girl I happened to meet.
Eileen I understand.
Fred She’s just a⁠—a girl from a little town.
Lucille comes back, full of life. Pulling on gloves, etc.
Lucille Listen⁠—it’s kind of early for the Orchard anyhow. So why don’t we take in the second show at the Capitol?
Paul is on again.
Paul Is everybody ready?
Eileen Oh, that’s fine! And I know what you’d love! After the Orchard what do you say we go to the Cotton Club? She throws a quick explanation to Fred. That’s Harlem!
Lucille Great!
Eileen They’ve got a wonderful tap dancer up there! Better than Bill Robinson!
Paul But say, the Cotton Club don’t get hot till three!
Fred Who has never heard of that hour. What time?
Eileen Oh, that’s all right! We can go to the Madrid or Richman’s in between!
Lucille Oh, great!
Paul But say, Richman’s burned down the other night!
Fred Let’s not go there!
Lucille I’ll tell you where I haven’t been for a long while! The St. Regis Roof!
Eileen Grand!
Lucille They’ve a wonderful view!
Fred Where?
Lucille The St. Regis Roof.
Fred I get dizzy if I climb a ladder!
The voices of the others pick up in a confused jumble as The Curtain Falls.