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Table of Contents

  1. Titlepage
  2. Imprint
  3. My Roomy
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  4. Sick ’Em
  5. Horseshoes
  6. Back to Baltimore
  7. Phil and His 4d
  8. Tour No. 2
    1. I
    2. II
  9. Alibi Ike
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
  10. Harmony
  11. The Poor Simp
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  12. Where Do You Get That Noise?
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  13. Oh, You Bonehead!
  14. Good for the Soul
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
  15. The Crook
  16. Champion
  17. A One-Man Team
  18. The Facts
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
  19. Tour Y-10
  20. The Holdout
  21. Ball-a-Hole
  22. Gas, Oil and Air
  23. The Yellow Kid
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  24. The Last Night
  25. The Clubby Roadster
  26. A Chip of the Old Block
  27. The Young Immigrunts
    1. Preface
    2. I: My Parents
    3. II: Starting Gaily
    4. III: Erie Lake
    5. IV: Buffalo to Rochester 76.4
    6. V: My Father’s Idear
    7. VI: Syracuse to Hudson 183.2
    8. VII: Hudson
    9. VIII: Hudson to Yonkers 106.5
    10. IX: The Bureau of Manhattan
    11. X: N.Y. To Grenitch 500.0
    12. XI: How It Ended
  28. The Big Town
    1. Preface
    2. I: Quick Returns
    3. II: Ritchey
    4. III: Lady Perkins
    5. IV: Only One
    6. V: Katie Wins a Home
  29. A Frame-Up
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  30. Some Like Them Cold
  31. The Battle of the Century
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  32. A Caddy’s Diary
  33. The Golden Honeymoon
  34. Bedtime-Stories
    1. How to Tell a True Princess
    2. Cinderella
    3. Red Riding Hood
    4. Bluebeard
  35. A Closeup of Domba Splew
  36. What of It?
  37. “In Conference”
  38. Haircut
  39. Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It
  40. Zone of Quiet
  41. Women
  42. The Love Nest
  43. A Day with Conrad Green
  44. Reunion
  45. Who Dealt?
  46. Rhythm
  47. Travelogue
  48. I Can’t Breathe
  49. The Jade Necklace
  50. The Story of a Wonder Man
    1. Foreword
    2. Introduction
    3. I: The Birth of a Wonder Man
    4. II: The Boy Grew Older
    5. III: Young Man Goes West
    6. IV: Bright College Years
    7. V: How Spanish War Ended
    8. VI: How I Threw Big Party for Jane Austen
    9. VII: New York’s Noon Life
    10. VIII: Football Trick Uncorked
    11. IX: Yale, Beaten by Blind Boys
    12. X: A Gay Christmas Eve
    13. XI: How I Swam the Hudson
    14. XII: I Transfer from Princeton to Medicine
    15. XIII: My Medical Career
    16. XIV: My 2 Big Inventions
    17. XV: Sport Writer on The Rabies
    18. XVI: Star Reporter for The Rabies
    19. XVII: Promoted to Contest Editor
    20. XVIII: Halloween in Polyandry Hospital
    21. XIX: A Soft Job
    22. XX: Dan Boone’s Joke
    23. XXI: I First Marry in Central Park—Lapland Lady for Bride
    24. XXII: On My Honeymoon
    25. XXIII: My Romance Blasted
    26. XXIV: My Divorce Trial
    27. XXV: Even Judge Ogle Smiled
    28. XXVI: I Revolutionize Theatre Business
    29. XXVII: A Postmortem Message
  51. Sun Cured
  52. Hurry Kane
  53. Now and Then
  54. The Spinning Wheel
  55. The Venomous Viper of the Volga
  56. Man Not Overboard
  57. Anniversary
  58. Nora
  59. Liberty Hall
  60. There Are Smiles
  61. Mr. Frisbie
  62. Wedding Day
  63. Dinner
  64. The Maysville Minstrel
  65. Ex Parte
  66. Old Folks’ Christmas
  67. Contract
  68. Absentminded Beggar
  69. High-Rollers
  70. Stop Me—If You’ve Heard This One
  71. Pity Is Akin—
  72. That Old Sweetheart of Mine
  73. Great Blessings
  74. Second-Act Curtain
    1. Enter the Heroine
    2. Inspiration from the Muse
    3. “It’s Got to Be Funny”
    4. Wasted Sympathy
    5. Detected!
  75. Mamma
  76. Words and Music
  77. Endnotes
  78. Colophon
  79. Uncopyright

Landmarks

  1. Short Fiction
  2. Endnotes