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Table of Contents

  1. Titlepage
  2. Imprint
  3. My Roomy
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  4. Sick ’Em
  5. Horseshoes
  6. Back to Baltimore
  7. Phil and His 4d
  8. Tour No. 2
    1. I
    2. II
  9. Alibi Ike
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
  10. Harmony
  11. The Poor Simp
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  12. Where Do You Get That Noise?
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
  13. Oh, You Bonehead!
  14. Good for the Soul
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
  15. The Crook
  16. Champion
  17. A One-Man Team
  18. Fame
    1. Persons in the Play
    2. Act I
    3. Act II
    4. Act III
  19. The Facts
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
  20. Tour Y-10
  21. The Holdout
  22. Ball-a-Hole
  23. Gas, Oil and Air
  24. The Yellow Kid
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  25. The Last Night
  26. The Clubby Roadster
  27. A Chip of the Old Block
  28. The Young Immigrunts
    1. Preface
    2. I: My Parents
    3. II: Starting Gaily
    4. III: Erie Lake
    5. IV: Buffalo to Rochester 76.4
    6. V: My Father’s Idear
    7. VI: Syracuse to Hudson 183.2
    8. VII: Hudson
    9. VIII: Hudson to Yonkers 106.5
    10. IX: The Bureau of Manhattan
    11. X: N.Y. To Grenitch 500.0
    12. XI: How It Ended
  29. The Big Town
    1. Preface
    2. I: Quick Returns
    3. II: Ritchey
    4. III: Lady Perkins
    5. IV: Only One
    6. V: Katie Wins a Home
  30. A Frame-Up
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  31. Some Like Them Cold
  32. The Battle of the Century
    1. I
    2. II
    3. III
    4. IV
    5. V
    6. VI
    7. VII
    8. VIII
  33. A Caddy’s Diary
  34. The Golden Honeymoon
  35. Bedtime Stories
    1. How to Tell a True Princess
    2. Cinderella
    3. Red Riding Hood
    4. Bluebeard
  36. A Closeup of Domba Splew
  37. What of It?
  38. “In Conference”
  39. Haircut
  40. Mr. and Mrs. Fix-It
  41. Zone of Quiet
  42. Women
  43. The Love Nest
  44. A Day with Conrad Green
  45. Reunion
  46. Who Dealt?
  47. Rhythm
  48. Travelogue
  49. I Can’t Breathe
  50. The Jade Necklace
  51. The Story of a Wonder Man
    1. Foreword
    2. Introduction
    3. I: The Birth of a Wonder Man
    4. II: The Boy Grew Older
    5. III: Young Man Goes West
    6. IV: Bright College Years
    7. V: How Spanish War Ended
    8. VI: How I Threw Big Party for Jane Austen
    9. VII: New York’s Noon Life
    10. VIII: Football Trick Uncorked
    11. IX: Yale, Beaten by Blind Boys
    12. X: A Gay Christmas Eve
    13. XI: How I Swam the Hudson
    14. XII: I Transfer from Princeton to Medicine
    15. XIII: My Medical Career
    16. XIV: My 2 Big Inventions
    17. XV: Sport Writer on The Rabies
    18. XVI: Star Reporter for The Rabies
    19. XVII: Promoted to Contest Editor
    20. XVIII: Halloween in Polyandry Hospital
    21. XIX: A Soft Job
    22. XX: Dan Boone’s Joke
    23. XXI: I First Marry in Central Park—Lapland Lady for Bride
    24. XXII: On My Honeymoon
    25. XXIII: My Romance Blasted
    26. XXIV: My Divorce Trial
    27. XXV: Even Judge Ogle Smiled
    28. XXVI: I Revolutionize Theatre Business
    29. XXVII: A Postmortem Message
  52. Sun Cured
  53. Hurry Kane
  54. Now and Then
  55. The Spinning Wheel
  56. The Venomous Viper of the Volga
  57. Man Not Overboard
  58. Anniversary
  59. Nora
  60. Liberty Hall
  61. There Are Smiles
  62. Mr. Frisbie
  63. Wedding Day
  64. Dinner
  65. The Maysville Minstrel
  66. Ex Parte
  67. Old Folks’ Christmas
  68. Contract
  69. Absentminded Beggar
  70. High-Rollers
  71. Stop Me—If You’ve Heard This One
  72. Pity Is Akin—
  73. That Old Sweetheart of Mine
  74. Great Blessings
  75. Second-Act Curtain
    1. Enter the Heroine
    2. Inspiration from the Muse
    3. “It’s Got to Be Funny”
    4. Wasted Sympathy
    5. Detected!
  76. Mamma
  77. Words and Music
  78. Endnotes
  79. Colophon
  80. Uncopyright

Landmarks

  1. Short Fiction
  2. Endnotes