Saved
I
The little Marquise de Rennedon burst into the room like a ball crashing through a window, and began to laugh before she had said a word; she laughed until she cried, just as she had laughed a month before when she came to tell her friend that she had deceived the marquis to revenge herself, for no reason but to revenge herself, and only once, because he really was too stupid and too jealous.
The little Baronne de Grangerie had thrown down on her vast couch the book she was reading, and she stared curiously at Annette, laughing already herself.
At last she asked:
“What have you done now?”
“Oh … my dear … my dear … it’s too funny … too funny … think of it … I’m saved … saved … saved.”
“What do you mean, saved?”
“Yes, saved.”
“From what?”
“From my husband, darling, saved! Delivered! Free! … free! … free!”
“How are you free? In what way?”
“In what way? Divorce! Yes, divorce! I can get a divorce.”
“You’re divorced?”
“No, not yet. How silly you are! You can’t get divorced in three hours! But I’ve got evidence … evidence … evidence that he is deceiving me … absolutely caught in the act … think! … in the act. … I can prove it. …”
“Oh, tell me about it. So he has deceived you?”
“Yes … that’s to say, no … yes and no. Oh, I’ve been clever, vastly clever. For the last three months he has been detestable, utterly detestable, brutal, coarse, tyrannical, too mean to live. I said to myself: This can’t go on, I must get a divorce! But how? It wasn’t easy. I tried to get him to beat me. He wouldn’t. He crossed me from morning to night, made me go out when I didn’t want to, and stay at home when I was longing to drive in town; he made my life unbearable from one week’s end to another, but he didn’t beat me.
“Then I tried to find out if he had a mistress. Yes, he had one, but he took every precaution when he went to visit her. It simply wasn’t possible to take them together. So, guess what I did.”
“I can’t guess.”
“Oh, you’d never guess. I begged my brother to get me a photograph of his girl.”
“Of your husband’s mistress?”
“Yes. It cost Jacques fifteen louis, the price of one evening, from seven o’clock to twelve, dinner included, three louis an hour. He got the photograph thrown in.”
“I should have thought he could have got it cheaper by any other method, and without—without—without being obliged to take the original as well.”
“Oh, but she’s pretty. Jacques didn’t mind it at all. And besides, I wanted to know all sorts of physical details about her figure, her breast, her skin, and all that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You will in a minute. When I had found out all I wanted to know, I went to a man … what shall I call him? … a very clever man … you know … one of those men who arrange things of all … of all kinds … one of those agents who can get you detectives and accomplices … one of those men … now do you understand?”
“Yes, I think so. And what did you say to him?”
“I showed him the photograph of Clarisse (she’s called Clarisse) and I said: ‘I want a lady’s maid like this photograph. She must be pretty, graceful, neat, clean. I’ll pay any price you like. If it costs me ten thousand francs, so much the worse for me. I shan’t need her for more than three months.’
“The man looked most surprised. ‘You want a girl with a good character, madam?’ he asked.
“I blushed and stammered: ‘Yes, certainly, so far as knowing her duties is concerned.’
“ ‘And as far as her morals?’ he added. I didn’t dare to answer. I could only shake my head to mean ‘No.’ And all at once I realised that he had a dreadful suspicion, and I lost my head and cried: ‘Oh, Monsieur, it’s for my husband … he is deceiving me … he’s deceiving me up in town … and I want … I want him to deceive me at home … you see … so that I can catch him at it.’
“Then the man burst out laughing. And I saw by his face that I had regained his opinion of me. He even thought me rather splendid. I’d have been ready to bet that he wanted to shake hands with me on the spot.
“ ‘I’ll arrange it for you within the week, madam,’ he said. ‘And if necessary we’ll change the attraction. I’ll guarantee success. You won’t pay me until we have been successful. … So this is the photograph of your husband’s mistress?’
“ ‘Yes.’
“ ‘She’s got a good figure, not so thin as she appears. And what scent?’
“I didn’t understand. ‘How do you mean, what scent?’ I repeated.
“He smiled. ‘Yes, madam, scent is of the first importance in seducing a man; because it stirs hidden memories that prepare his mind for the necessary impulse; scent works a subtle confusion in his mind, disturbs him and weakens his defence by reminding him of past pleasures. You should also try to find out what your husband usually eats when he dines with this lady. You could arrange to give him the same dishes the evening you put it over him. Ah, we’ll pull it off, madam, we’ll pull it off!’
“I went away delighted. I really had discovered a most intelligent man.
II
“Three days later, a tall dark girl presented herself before me; she was very beautiful, with an expression at once demure and provocative, a strangely sophisticated expression. Her manner to me was correctness itself. As I didn’t know quite on what footing to put her, I called her ‘Mademoiselle’; then she said: ‘Oh, Madame need not call me anything but Rose.’ We began to talk.
“ ‘Well, Rose, you know why you are here?’
“ ‘I know quite well, Madame.’
“ ‘Excellent, my girl. … And you … you don’t mind at all?’
“ ‘Oh, Madame, this is the eighth divorce I’ve helped to arrange; I’m used to it.’
“ ‘That’s splendid. Will it take you long to bring it off?’
“ ‘Oh, Madame, that depends entirely on the gentleman’s temperament. As soon as I have seen him alone for five minutes, I shall be able to tell you with some certainty.’
“ ‘You shall see him at once, my child. But I warn you that he’s not beautiful.’
“ ‘That doesn’t matter to me, Madame. I’ve come between wives and some very ugly husbands before this. But I must ask Madame if she has ascertained what scent I ought to use.’
“ ‘Yes, my good Rose … vervain.’
“ ‘So much the better, Madame: I’m very fond of that scent. And perhaps Madame can also tell me if her husband’s mistress wears silk.’
“ ‘No, my child; very fine lawn trimmed with lace.’
“ ‘Oh, she must be very smart. Silk is beginning to be so common.’
“ ‘I quite agree with you.’
“ ‘Very well, Madame, I’ll begin my duties.’
“She did begin her duties on the spot, as if she had never done anything else in all her life.
“An hour later my husband came in again. Rose didn’t even look at him, but he looked at her. She was already smelling strongly of vervain. After five minutes she left the room.
“ ‘Who’s that girl?’ he asked me at once.
“ ‘That … oh, that’s my new maid.’
“ ‘Where did you get her?’
“ ‘The Baronne de Grangerie sent her to me, with an excellent recommendation.’
“ ‘Well, she’s pretty enough.’
“ ‘You think so?’
“ ‘I do … for a lady’s maid.’
“I was overjoyed. I was sure he was nibbling already.
“The same evening Rose said to me: ‘I can now promise Madame that it won’t take a fortnight. The gentleman is very easy.’
“ ‘Ah, you’ve tried already?’
“ ‘No, Madame, but its obvious at a glance. Even now he’d like to put his arms round me as he walks past.’
“ ‘He hasn’t said anything to you?’
“ ‘No, Madame, he has only asked my name … to hear the sound of my voice.’
“ ‘Excellent, my good Rose. Get on as quickly as you can.’
“ ‘Don’t be afraid of that, Madame. I shall resist just long enough not to make myself cheap.’
“By the end of the week my husband hardly left the house at all. I used to see him all afternoon wandering about the house; and what was more significant than anything else of his state of mind, was that he no longer stopped me from going out. I was out all day, I was … to … to leave him free.
“On the ninth day, as Rose was undressing me, she said meekly:
“ ‘It’s happened, Madame—this morning.’
“I was a little surprised, even a little distressed, not by the thing itself, but by the way in which she had said it to me. I stammered:
“ ‘And … and … it went off all right?’
“ ‘Oh, very well, Madame. He has been urging me for three days now, but I didn’t want to go too quickly. Perhaps Madame will tell me what time she would like the flagrante delicto.’
“ ‘Yes, my girl; let’s see … we’ll make it Friday.’
“ ‘Friday then, Madame. I’ll not allow any more liberties until then, so as to keep Monsieur eager.’
“ ‘You’re sure you won’t fail?’
“ ‘Oh, yes, Madame, quite sure. I’ll go on keeping Monsieur from the point, so that he’s just ready to come to it at any hour Madame likes to fix.’
“ ‘Let’s say five o’clock, my good Rose.’
“ ‘Five o’clock, Madame; and where?’
“ ‘Well—in my room.’
“ ‘Right, in Madame’s room.’
“Well, my dear, you see what I did. I went and brought papa and mamma first, and then my uncle d’Orvelin, the president, and then Monsieur Raplet, the judge and a friend of my husband. I didn’t warn them what I was going to show them. I made them all creep on tiptoe to the door of my room. I waited until five o’clock, exactly five o’clock. Oh, how my heart was beating! I made the concierge come up too, so as to have one more witness. Then … then, the moment the clock began to strike, bang, I flung the door open. … Oh, oh, oh, there they were in the very middle of it, my dear! … Oh, what a face … what a face, if you had only seen his face! … And he turned round, the fathead. Oh, it was funny! I laughed, and laughed. … And papa was furious and wanted to whip my husband. And the concierge, an excellent servant, helped him to dress himself again … in front of us … in front of us … he buttoned his braces for him … it was wildly funny. … As for Rose, she was perfect, quite perfect. … She cried … she cried beautifully. She’s a priceless girl … if ever you want a girl like that, remember her!
“And here I am. … I came away at once to tell you all about it … at once—I’m free. Hurrah for divorce!”
She began to dance in the middle of the drawing room, while the little Baronne murmured, in a voice full of dreamy disappointment:
“Why didn’t you invite me to see it?”