In speaking these words, and devising with myself of our departing the next morrow, lest Meroe the witch should play by us as she had done by diverse other persons, it fortuned that Socrates did fall asleep, and slept very soundly, by reason of his travel and plenty of meat and wine wherewithal he had filled himself. Wherefore I closed and barred fast the doors of the chamber, and put my bed behind the door, and so layed me down to rest. But I could in nowise sleep, for the great fear which was in my heart, until it was about midnight, and then I began to slumber. But alas, behold suddenly the chamber doors brake open, and locks, bolts, and posts fell down, that you would verily have thought that some thieves had been presently come to have spoiled and robbed us. And my bed whereon I lay being a truckle bed, fashioned in form of a Cradle, and one of the feet broken and rotten, by violence was turned upside down, and I likewise was overwhelmed and covered lying in the same. Then perceived I in myself, that certain affects of the mind by nature doth chance contrary. For as tears oftentimes trickle down the cheeks of him that seeth or heareth some joyful news, so I being in this fearful perplexity, could not forbear laughing, to see how of Aristomenus I was made like unto a snail in his shell. And while I lay on the ground covered in this sort, I peeped under the bed to see what would happen. And behold there entered in two old women, the one bearing a burning torch, and the other a sponge and a naked sword; and so in this habit they stood about Socrates being fast asleep. Then she which bare the sword said unto the other, Behold sister Panthia, this is my dear and sweet heart, which both day and night hath abused my wanton youthfulness. This is he, who little regarding my love, doth not only defame me with reproachful words, but also intendeth to run away. And I shall be forsaken by like craft as Ulysses did use, and shall continually bewail my solitariness as Calypso. Which said, she pointed towards me that lay under the bed, and showed me to Panthia. This is he, quoth she, which is his counselor, and persuadeth him to forsake me, and now being at the point of death he lieth prostrate on the ground covered with his bed, and hath seen all our doings, and hopeth to escape scot-free from my hands, but I will cause that he will repent himself too late, nay rather forthwith, of his former intemperate language, and his present curiosity. Which words when I heard I fell into a cold sweat, and my heart trembled with fear, insomuch that the bed over me did likewise rattle and shake. Then spake Panthia unto Meroe and said, Sister let us by and by tear him in pieces or tie him by the members, and so cut them off. Then Meroe (being so named because she was a taverner, and loved well good wines) answered, Nay rather let him live, and bury the corpse of this poor wretch in some hole of the earth; and therewithal she turned the head of Socrates on the other side and thrust her sword up to the hilts into the left part of his neck, and received the blood that gushed out, into a pot, that no drop thereof fell beside: which things I saw with mine own eyes, and as I think to the intent that she might alter nothing that pertained to sacrifice, which she accustomed to make, she thrust her hand down into the entrails of his body, and searching about, at length brought forth the heart of my miserable companion Socrates, who having his throat cut in such sort, yielded out a doleful cry, and gave up the ghost. Then Panthia stopped up the wide wound of his throat with the sponge and said, Oh sponge sprung and made of the sea, beware that thou not pass by running river. This being said, one of them moved and turned up my bed, and then they strid over me, and clapped their buttocks upon my face, and all bepissed me until I was wringing wet. When this was over they went their ways, and the doors closed fast, the posts stood in their old places, and the locks and bolts were shut again. But I that lay upon the ground like one without soul, naked and cold, and wringing wet with piss, like to one that were more than half dead, yet reviving myself, and appointed as I thought for the gallows, began to say Alas what shall become of me tomorrow, when my companion shall be found murdered here in the chamber? To whom shall I seem to tell any similitude of truth, when as I shall tell the truth in deed? They will say, If thou wert unable to resist the violence of the women, yet shouldest thou have cried for help; Wouldst thou suffer the man to be slain before thy face and say nothing? Or why did they not slay thee likewise? Why did they spare thee that stood by and saw them commit that horrible fact? Wherefore although thou hast escaped their hands, yet thou shalt not escape ours. While I pondered these things with myself the night passed on, and so I resolved to take my horse before day, and go forward on my journey.

Howbeit the ways were unknown to me, and thereupon I took up my packet, unlocked and unbarred the doors, but those good and faithful doors which in the night did open of their own accord, could then scantly be opened with their keys. And when I was out I cried, Oh sirrah hostler where art thou? Open the stable door for I will ride away by and by. The hostler lying behind the stable door upon a pallet, and half-asleep, What (quoth he) do you not know that the ways be very dangerous? What mean you to rise at this time of night? If you perhaps guilty of some heinous crime, be weary of your life, yet think you not that we are such sots that we will die for you. Then said I, It is well-nigh day, and moreover, what can thieves take from him that hath nothing? Doest thou not know (fool as thou art) if thou be naked, if ten giants should assail thee, they could not spoil or rob thee? Whereunto the drowsy hostler half-asleep, and turning on the other side, answered, What know I whether you have murdered your companion whom you brought in yesternight, or no, and now seek the means to escape away? Oh Lord, at that time I remember the earth seemed ready to open, and me thought I saw at hell gate the dog Cerberus ready to devour me, and then I verily believed, that Meroe did not spare my throat, moved with pity, but rather cruelly pardoned me to bring me to the gallows. Wherefore I returned to my chamber, and there devised with myself in what sort I should finish my life. But when I saw that Fortune should minister unto me no other instrument than that which my bed proffered me, I said, Oh bed, oh bed, most dear to me at this present, which hast abode and suffered with me so many miseries, judge and arbiter of such things as were done here this night, whom only I may call to witness for my innocence, render (I say) unto me some wholesome weapon to end my life, that am most willing to die. And therewithal I pulled out a piece of the rope wherewith the bed was corded, and tied one end thereof about a rafter by the window, and with the other end I made a sliding knot, and stood upon my bed, and so put my neck into it, and leaped from the bed, thinking to strangle myself and so die, behold the rope being old and rotten burst in the middle, and I fell down tumbling upon Socrates that lay under: And even at that same very time the hostler came in crying with a loud voice, and said, Where are you that made such haste at midnight, and now lies wallowing abed? Whereupon (I know not whether it was by my fall, or by the great cry of the hostler) Socrates as waking out of sleep, did rise up first and said, It is not without cause that strangers do speak evil of all such hostlers, for this caitiff in his coming in, and with his crying out, I think under a colour to steal away something, hath waked me out of a sound sleep. Then I rose up joyful with a merry countenance, saying, Behold good hostler, my friend, my companion and my brother, whom thou didst falsely affirm to be slain by me this might. And therewithal I embraced my friend Socrates and kissed him: but he smelling the stink of the piss wherewith those hags had embrued me, thrust me away and said, Cleanse thyself from this filthy odour, and then he began gently to inquire, how that noisome scent happened unto me. But I finely feigning and colouring the matter for the time, did break off his talk, and took him by the hand and said, Why tarry we? Why lose we the pleasure of this fair morning? Let us go, and so I took up my packet, and paid the charges of the house and departed: and we had not gone a mile out of the town but it was broad day, and then I diligently looked upon Socrates throat, to see if I could espy the place where Meroe thrust in her sword: but when I could not perceive any such thing, I thought with myself, What a mad man am I, that being overcome with wine yesternight, have dreamed such terrible things? Behold I see Socrates is sound, safe and in health. Where is his wound? Where is the sponge? Where is his great and new cut? And then I spake to him and said, Verily it is not without occasion, that physicians of experience do affirm, that such as fill their gorges abundantly with meat and drink, shall dream of dire and horrible sights: for I myself, not tempering my appetite yesternight from the pots of wine, did seem to see this night strange and cruel visions, that even yet I think myself sprinkled and wet with human blood: whereunto Socrates laughing made answer and said, Nay, thou art not wet with the blood of men, but art embrued with stinking piss; and verily I dreamed that my throat was cut, and that I felt the pain of the wound, and that my heart was pulled out of my belly, and the remembrance thereof makes me now to fear, for my knees do so tremble that I can scarce go any further, and therefore I would fain eat somewhat to strengthen and revive my spirits. Then said I, behold here thy breakfast, and therewithal I opened my scrip that hanged upon my shoulder, and gave him bread and cheese, and we sat down under a great plane tree, and I eat part with him; and while I beheld him eating greedily, I perceived that he waxed meager and pale, and that his lively colour faded away, insomuch that being in great fear, and remembering those terrible furies of whom I lately dreamed, the first morsel of bread that I put in my mouth (that was but very small) did so stick in my jaws, that I could neither swallow it down, nor yet yield it up, and moreover the small time of our being together increased my fear, and what is he that seeing his companion die in the highway before his face, would not greatly lament and be sorry? But when that Socrates had eaten sufficiently he waxed very thirsty, for indeed he had well-nigh devoured a whole cheese: and behold evil fortune! There was behind the plane tree a pleasant running water as clear as crystal, and I said unto him, Come hither Socrates to this water and drink thy fill. And then he rose and came to the river, and kneeled down on the side of the bank to drink, but he had scarce touched the water with lips, when as behold the wound in his throat opened wide, and the Sponge suddenly fell out into the water, and after issued out a little remnant of blood, and his body being then without life, had fallen into the river, had not I caught him by the leg and so pulled him up. And after that I had lamented a good space the death of my wretched companion, I buried him in the sands there by the river.

Which done, in great fear I rode through many outways and desert places, and as culpable of the death of Socrates, I forsook my country, my wife, and my children, and came to Etolia where I married another wife.

This tale told Aristomenus, and his fellow which before obstinately would give no credit unto him, began to say, Verily there was never so foolish a tale, nor a more absurd lie told than this. And then he spake unto me saying, Ho sir, what you are I know not, but your habit and countenance declareth that you should be some honest Gentleman, (speaking to Apuleius) do you believe this tale? Yea verily (quoth I), why not? For whatsoever the Fates have appointed to men, that I believe shall happen. For may things chance unto me and unto you, and to diverse others, which being declared unto the ignorant be accounted as lies. But verily I give credit unto his tale, and render entire thanks unto him, in that by the pleasant relation thereof we have quickly passed and shortened our journey, and I think that my horse was also delighted with the same, and hath brought me to the gate of this city without any pain at all. Thus ended both our talk and our journey, for they two turned on the left hand to the next villages, and I rode into the city.