When he had bought such things as was necessary, he would not return home into his country in chariots, or wagon, neither would he ride upon Thessalian horses, or jennets of France, or Spanish mules, which be most excellent as can be found, but caused me to be garnished and trimmed with trappers and barbs of gold, with brave harness, with purple coverings, with a bridle of silver, with pictured cloths, and with shrilling bells, and in this manner he rode upon me lovingly, speaking and entreating me with gentle words, but above all things he did greatly rejoice in that I was his servant to bear him upon my back, and his companion to feed with him at the table: after long time when we had travelled as well by sea as land, and fortuned to arrive at Corinth, the people of the town came about us on every side, not so much to do honour to Thiasus, as to see me: for my fame was so greatly spread there, that I gained my master much money, and when the people was desirous to see me play pranks, they caused the gates to be shut, and such as entered in should pay money, by means whereof I was a profitable companion to them every day: there fortuned to be amongst the assembly a noble and rich matron that conceived much delight to behold me, and could find no remedy to her passions and disordinate appetite, but continually desired to have her pleasure with me, as Pasiphaë had with a bull. In the end she promised a great reward to my keeper for the custody of me one night, who for gain of a little money accorded to her desire, and when I had supped in a parlor with my master, we departed away and went into our chamber, where we found the fair matron, who had tarried a great space for our coming: I am not able to recite unto you how all things were prepared: there were four eunuchs that lay on a bed of down on the ground with bolsters accordingly for us to lie on, the coverlet was of cloth of gold, and the pillows soft and tender, whereon the delicate matron had accustomed to lay her head. Then the eunuchs not minding to delay any longer the pleasure of their mistress closed the doors of the chamber and departed away: within the chamber were lamps that gave a clear light all the place over: then she put off all her garments to her naked skin, and taking the lamp that stood next to her, began to anoint all her body with balm, and mine likewise, but especially my nose, which done, she kissed me, not as they accustom to do at the stews, or in brothel houses, or in the curtain schools for gain of money, but purely, sincerely, and with great affection, casting out these and like loving words: Thou art he whom I love, thou art he whom I only desire, without thee I cannot live, and other like preamble of talk as women can use well enough, when as they mind to show or declare their burning passions and great affection of love: then she took me by the halter and cast me down upon the bed, which was nothing strange unto me, considering that she was so beautiful a aatron and I so well boldened out with wine, and perfumed with balm, whereby I was readily prepared for the purpose: but nothing grieved me so much as to think, how I should with my huge and great legs embrace so fair a matron, or how I should touch her fine, dainty, and silken skin, with my hard hoofs, or how it was possible to kiss her soft, pretty and ruddy lips, with my monstrous mouth and stony teeth, or how she, who was young and tender, could be able to receive me.

And I verily thought, if I should hurt the woman by any kind of mean, I should be thrown to the wild beasts: But in the mean season she kissed me, and looked in my mouth with burning eyes, saying: I hold thee my cunny, I hold thee my nops, my sparrow, and therewithal she eftsoons embraced my body round about, and had her pleasure with me, whereby I thought the mother of miniatures did not ceaseless quench her inordinate desire with a bull. When night was passed, with much joy and small sleep, the matron went before day to my keeper to bargain with him another night, which he willingly granted, partly for gain of money, and partly to find new pastime for my master. Who after he was informed of all the history of my luxury, was right glad, and rewarded my keeper well for his pain, minding to show before the face of all the people, what I could do: but because they would not suffer the matron to abide such shame, by reason of her dignity, and because they could find no other that would endeavour so great a reproach, at length they obtained for money a poor woman, which was condemned to be eaten of wild beasts, with whom I should openly have to do: But first I will tell you what tale I heard concerning this woman. This woman had a husband, whose father minding to ride forth, commanded his wife which he left at home great with child, that if she were delivered of a daughter, it should incontinently be killed. When the time of her delivery came, it fortuned that she had a daughter, whom she would not suffer to be slain, by reason of the natural affection which she bare unto her child, but secretly committed her to one of her neighbours to nurse. And when her husband returned home, she declared unto him that she was delivered of a daughter, whom (as he commanded), she had caused to be put to death. But when this child came to age, and ready to be married, the mother knew not by what means she should endow her daughter, but that her husband should understand and perceive it. Wherefore she discovered the matter to her son, who was the husband of this woman, condemned to be eaten of wild beasts: for she greatly feared least he should unawares fancy or fall in love with his own sister. The young man understanding the whole matter (to please and gratify his mother) went immediately to the young maiden, keeping the matter secret in his heart, for fear of inconvenience, and (lamenting to see his sister forsaken both of mother and father) incontinently after endowed her with part of his own goods, and would have married her to one of his especial and trusty friends: but although he brought this to pass very secretly and sagely, yet in the end cruel fortune sowed great sedition in his house. For his wife who was now condemned to beasts, waxed jealous of her husband and began to suspect the young woman as a harlot and common quean, insomuch that she invented all manner of means to dispatch her out of the way. And in the end she invented this kind of mischief: she privily stole away her husband’s ring, and went into the country, whereas she commanded one of her trusty servants to take the ring and carry it to the maiden. To whom he should declare that her brother did pray her to come into the country to him, and that she should come alone without any person. And to the end she should not delay but come with all speed he should deliver her the ring, which should be a sufficient testimony of the message. This maiden as soon as she had received the ring of her brother, being very willing and desirous to obey his commandment: (For she knew no otherwise but that he had sent for her) went in all haste as the messenger willed her to do. But when she was come to the snare and engine which was prepared for her, the mischievous woman, like one that were mad, and possessed with some ill spirit, when the poor maiden called for help with a loud voice to her brother, the wicked harlot (weening that she had invented and feigned the matter) took a burning firebrand and thrust it into her secret place, whereby she died miserably. The husband of this maiden but especially her brother, advertised of her death, came to the place where she was slain, and after great lamentation and weeping, they caused her to be buried honorably. This young man her brother taking in ill part the miserable death of his sister, as it was convenient he should, conceived so great dolour within his mind and was stricken with so pestilent fury of bitter anguish, that he fell into the burning passions of a dangerous ague, whereby he seemed in such necessity, that he needed to have some speedy remedy to save his life. The woman that slew the maiden having lost the name of wife together with her faith, went to a traitorous physician, who had killed a great many persons in his days and promised him fifty pieces of Gold, if he would give her a present poison to kill her husband out of hand, but in presence of her husband, she feigned that it was necessary for him to receive a certain kind of drink, which the masters and doctors of physic do call a sacred potion, to the intent he might purge choler and scour the interior parts of his body. But the physician instead of that drink prepared a mortal and deadly poison, and when he had tempered it accordingly, he took the pot in the presence of the family, and other neighbours and friends of the sick young man, and offered it to his patient. But the bold and hardy woman, to the end she might accomplish her wicked intent, and also gain the money which she had promised the physician, stayed the pot with her hand, saying: I pray you master physician, minister not this drink unto my dear husband, until such time as you have drunk some part thereof yourself: for what know I, whether you have mingled any poison in the drink or no, wherein I would have you not to be offended: for I know that you are a man of wisdom and learning, but this I do to the intent the conscience and love that I bear to the health and safeguard of my husband, may be apparent. The physician being greatly troubled at the wickedness of this mischievous woman, as void of all counsel and leisure to consider of the matter, and least he might give any cause of suspicion to the standers-by, or show any scruple of his guilty conscience, by reason of long delay, took the pot in his hand, and presently drunk a good draught thereof, which done, the young man having no mistrust, drunk up the residue. The physician would have gone immediately home to receive a counterpoison, to expel and drive out the first poison: but the wicked woman persevering in her mischief, would not suffer him to depart afoot, until such time as the poison began to work in him, and then by much prayer and intercession she licensed him to go home: by the way the poison invaded the entrails and bowels of the whole body of the physician, in such sort that with great pain he came to his own house, where he had scarce time to speak to his wife, and to will her to receive the promised salutary of the death of two persons, but he yielded up the ghost: and the other young man lived not long after, but likewise died, amongst the feigned and deceitful tears of his cursed wife. A few days after, when the young man was buried and the funeral ended, the physician’s wife demanded of her the fifty pieces of gold which she promised her husband for the drink, whereat the ill-disposed woman, with resemblance of honesty, answered her with gentle words, and promised to give her the fifty pieces of gold, if she would fetch her a little of that same drink, to proceed and make an end of all her enterprise. The physician’s wife partly to win the further favour of this rich woman, and partly to gain the money, ran incontinently home, and brought her a whole root of poison, which when she saw, having now occasion to execute her further malice, and to finish the damnable plot, began to stretch out her bloody hands to murder. She had a daughter by her husband (that was poisoned) who according to order of law, was appointed heir of all the lands and goods of her father: but this woman knowing that the mothers succored their children, and received all their goods after their death, purposed to show herself a like parent to her child, as she was a wife to her husband, whereupon she prepared a dinner with her own hands, and empoisoned both the wife of the physician and her own daughter: the child being young and tender died incontinently by force of the drink, but the physician’s wife being stout and strong of complexion, feeling the poison to trill down into her body, doubted the matter, and thereupon knowing of certainty that she had received her bane, ran forthwith to the judge’s house, that what with her cries, and exclamations, she raised up the people of the town, and promising them to show diverse wicked and mischievous acts, caused that the doors and gates were opened. When she came in she declared from the beginning to the end the abomination of this woman: but she had scarce ended her tale, when opening her falling lips, and grinding her teeth together, she fell down dead before the face of the judge, who incontinently to try the truth of the matter, caused the cursed woman, and her servants to be pulled out of the house, and enforced by pain of torment to confess the verity, which being known, this mischievous woman far less than she deserved, but because there could be no more cruel a death invented for the quality of her offence, was condemned to be eaten with wild beasts. Behold with this woman was I appointed to have to do before the face of the people, but I being wrapped in great anguish, and envying the day of the triumph, when we two should so abandon ourselves together, devised rather to slay myself, than to pollute my body with this mischievous harlot, and so forever to remain defamed: but it was impossible for me so to do, considering that I lacked hands, and was not able to hold a knife in my hoofs: howbeit standing in a pretty cabin, I rejoiced in myself to see that springtime was come, and that all things flourished, and that I was in good hope to find some roses, to render me my human shape. When the day of triumph came, I was led with great pomp and benevolence to the appointed place, where when I was brought, I first saw the preamble of that triumph, dedicated with dancers and merry taunting jests, and in the mean season was placed before the gate of the theater, whereas on the one side I saw the green and fresh grass growing before the entry thereof, whereon I greatly desired to feed: on the other side I conceived a great delectation to see when the theater gates were opened, how all things was finely prepared and set forth: for there I might see young children and maidens in the flower of their youth of excellent beauty, and attired gorgeously, dancing and moved in comely order, according to the order of Grecia, for sometime they would dance in length, sometime round together, sometime divide themselves into four parts, and sometime loose hands on every side: but when the trumpet gave warning that every man should retire to his place, then began the triumph to appear. First there was a hill of wood, not much unlike that which the Poet Homer called Idea, for it was garnished about with all sort of green verdures and lively trees, from the top whereof ran down a clear and fresh fountain, nourishing the waters below, about which wood were many young and tender goats, plucking and feeding daintily on the budding trees, then came a young man a shepherd representing Paris, richly arrayed with vestments of Barbary, having a mitre of gold upon his head, and seeming as though he kept the goats. After him ensued another young man all naked, saving that his left shoulder was covered with a rich cloak, and his head shining with glistering hairs, and hanging down, through which you might perceive two little wings, whereby you might conjecture that he was Mercury, with his rod called Caduceus, he bare in his right hand an apple of gold, and with a seemly gait went towards him that represented Paris, and after he had delivered him the apple, he made a sign, signifying that Jupiter had commanded him so to do: when he had done his message he departed away. And by and by, there approached a fair and comely maiden, not much unlike to Juno, for she had a diadem of gold upon her head, and in her hand she bare a regal scepter: then followed another resembling Pallas, for she had on her head a shining sallet, whereon was bound a garland of olive branches, having in one hand a target or shield: and in the other a spear as though she would fight: then came another which passed the other in beauty, and presented the goddess Venus, with the colour of Ambrosia, when she was a maiden, and to the end she would show her perfect beauty, she appeared all naked, saving that her fine and dainty skin was covered with a thin smock, which the wind blew hither and thither to testify the youth and flower of the age of the dame. Her colour was of two sorts, for her body was white as descended from heaven, and her smock was bluish, as arrived from the sea: after every one of the virgins which seemed goddesses, followed certain waiting servants, Castor and Pollux went behind Juno, having on their heads helmets covered with stars. This virgin Juno sounded a flute, which she bare in her hand, and moved herself towards the shepherd Paris, showing by honest signs and tokens, and promising that he should be lord of all Asia, if he would judge her the fairest of the three, and to give her the apple of gold: the other maiden which seemed by her armour to be Pallas, was accompanied with two young men armed, and brandishing their naked swords in their hands, whereof one named Terror, and the other Fear; behind them approached one sounding his trumpet to provoke and stir men to battle; this maiden began to dance and shake her head, throwing her fierce and terrible eyes upon Paris and promising that if it pleased him to give her the victory of beauty, she would make him the most strong and victorious man alive. Then came Venus and presented herself in the middle of the theater, with much favour of all the people, for she was accompanied with a great many of youth, whereby you would have judged them all to be cupidoes, either to have flown from heaven or else from the river of the sea, for they had wings, arrows, and the residue of their habit according in each point, and they bare in their hands torches lighted, as though it had been a day of marriage. Then came in a great multitude of fair maidens: on the one side were the most comely Graces: on the other side, the most beautiful Hours carrying garlands and loose flowers, and making great honor to the goddess of pleasure; the flutes and pipes yielded out the sweet sound of Lydians, whereby they pleased the minds of the standers-by exceedingly, but the more pleasing Venus moved forward more and more, and shaking her head answered by her motion and gesture, to the sound of the instruments. For sometimes she would wink gently, sometimes threaten and look aspishly, and sometimes dance only with her eyes: as soon as she was come before the judge, she made a sign and token to give him the most fairest spouse of all the world, if he would prefer her above the residue of the goddesses. Then the young Phrygian shepherd Paris with a willing mind delivered the golden apple to Venus, which was the victory of beauty.

Why do ye marvel, ye orators, ye lawyers, and advocates, if many of our judges nowadays sell their judgments for money, when as in the beginning of the world one only Grace corrupted the sentence between god and men, and that one rustical judge and shepherd appointed by the counsel of great Jupiter, sold his judgment for a little pleasure, which was the cause afterward of the ruin of all his progeny? By like manner of mean, was sentence given between the noble Greeks: for the noble and valiant personage Palamedes was convicted and attainted of treason, by false persuasion and accusation, and Ulysses being but of base condition, was preferred in martial prowess above great Ajax. What judgment was there likewise amongst the Athenian lawyers, sage and expert in all sciences? Was not Socrates who was preferred by Apollo, above all the wise men in the world, by envy and malice of wicked persons empoisoned with the herb cicuta, as one that corrupted the youth of the country, whom always be kept under by correction? For we see nowadays many excellent philosophers greatly desire to follow his sect, and by perpetual study to value and revolve his works, but to the end I may not be reproved of indignation by anyone that might say: What, shall we suffer an ass to play the philosopher? I will return to my further purpose.

After the judgment of Paris was ended, Juno and Pallas departed away angrily, showing by their gesture, that they would revenge themselves on Paris, but Venus that was right pleased and glad in her heart, danced about the theater with much joy. This done from the top of the hill through a privy spout, ran a flood of the colour of saffron, which fell upon the goats, and changed their white hair into yellow, with a sweet odour to all them of the theater. By and by after by certain engines, the ground opened, and swallowed up the hill of wood: and then behold there came a man of arms through the multitude, demanding by the consent of the people, the woman who was condemned to the beasts, and appointed for me to have to do withal: our bed was finely and bravely prepared, and covered with silk and other things necessary. But I, beside the shame to commit this horrible fact, and to pollute my body with this wicked harlot did greatly fear the danger of death: for I thought in myself, that when she and I were together, the savage beast appointed to devour the woman, was not so instructed and taught, or would so temper his greediness, as that he would tear her in pieces lying under me, and spare me with a regard of mine innocence. Wherefore I was more careful for the safeguard of my life, than for the shame that I should abide, but in the mean season while my master made ready the bed, all the residue did greatly delight to see the hunting and pleasantness of the triumph, I began to think and devise for myself. When I perceived that no man had regard to me, that was so tame and gentle an ass, I stole out of the gate that was next me, and then I ran away with all force, and came to Cenchris, which is the most famous town of all the Carthaginians, bordering upon the seas called Aegeum, and Saronicum, where is a great and mighty haven, frequented with many a sundry nation. There because I would avoid the multitude of the people, I went to a secret place of the sea coast, where I laid me down upon the sand, to ease and refresh myself, for the day was past and the sun gone down, and lying in this sort on the ground, did fall in a sound sleep.