After this we came to a fair city very populous, where our shepherds determined to continue, by reason that it seemed a place where they might live unknown, far from such as should pursue them, and because it was a country very plentiful of corn and other victuals, where when we had remained the space of three days, and that I poor ass and the other horses were fed and kept in the stable to the intent we might seem more saleable, we were brought out at length to the market, and by and by a crier sounded with his horn to notify that we were to be sold: all my companion horses were bought up by gentlemen, but as for me I stood still forsaken of all men. And when many buyers came by and looked in my mouth to know mine age, I was so weary with opening my jaws that at length (unable to endure any longer) when one came with a stinking pair of hands and grated my gums with his filthy fingers, I bit them clean off, which thing caused the standers-by to forsake me as being a fierce and cruel beast: the crier when he had gotten a hoarse voice with crying, and saw that no man would buy me, began to mock me saying, To what end stand we here with this wild ass, this feeble beast, this slow jade with worn hooves, good for nothing but to make sieves of his skin? Why do we not give him to somebody for he earneth not his hay? In this manner he made all the standers-by to laugh exceedingly, but my evil fortune which was ever so cruel against me, whom I by travel of so many countries could in nowise escape, did more and more envy me, with invention of new means to afflict my poor body in giving me a new Master as spiteful as the rest. There was an old man somewhat bald, with long and gray hair, one of the number of those that go from door to door, throughout all the villages, bearing the image of the goddess Syria, and playing with cymbals to get the alms of good and charitable folks, this old man came hastily towards the crier, and demanded where I was bred: Marry (quoth he) in Cappadocia: Then he inquired what age I was of, the crier answered as a mathematician, which disposed to me my planets, that I was five years old, and willed the old man to look in my mouth: for I would not willingly (quoth he) incur the penalty of the law Cornelia, in selling a free citizen for a servile slave, buy a god’s name this fair beast to ride home on, and about in the country: but this curious buyer did never stint to question of my qualities, and at length he demanded whether I were gentle or no: Gentle (quoth the crier) as gentle as a lamb, tractable to all use, he will never bite, he will never kick, but you would rather think that under the shape of an ass there were some well-advised man, which verily you may easily conject, for if you would thrust your nose in his tail you shall perceive how patient he is: thus the crier mocked the old man, but he perceiving his taunts and jests, waxed very angry saying, Away doting crier, I pray the omnipotent and omniparent goddess Syria, Saint Sabod, Bellona, with her mother Idea, and Venus, with Adonis, to strike out both thine eyes, that with taunting mocks hast scoffed me in this sort: dost thou think that I will put a goddess upon the back of any fierce beast, whereby her divine image should be thrown down on the ground, and so I poor miser should be compelled (tearing my hair) to look for some physician to help her? When I heard him speak thus, I thought with myself suddenly to leap upon him like a mad ass, to the intent he should not buy me, but incontinently there came another Merchant that prevented my thought, and offered seventeen pence for me, then my Master was glad and received the money, and delivered me to my new master who was called Philebus, and he carried his new servant home, and before he came to his house, he called out his daughters saying, Behold my daughters, what a gentle servant I have bought for you: then they were marvelous glad, and coming out prattling and shouting for joy, thought verily that he had brought home a fit and convenable servant for their purpose, but when they perceived that it was an ass, they began to provoke him, saying that he had not bought a servant for his maidens, but rather an ass for himself. Howbeit (quoth they) keep him not wholly for your own riding, but let us likewise have him at commandment. Therewithal they led me into the stable, and tied me to the manger: there was a certain young man with a mighty body, well skilled in playing on instruments before the gods to get money, who (as soon as he had espied me) entertained me very well, for he filled my rack and manger full of meat, and spake merrily saying, Oh master ass, you are very welcome, now you shall take my office in hand, you are come to supply my room, and to ease me of my miserable labour: but I pray God thou mayest long live and please my master well, to the end thou mayest continually deliver me from so great pain. When I heard these words I did prognosticate my misery to come.

The day following I saw there a great number of persons apparelled in diverse colours, having painted faces, mitres on their heads, vestments coloured like saffron, surplices of silk, and on their feet yellow shoes, who attired the goddess in a robe of purple, and put her upon my back. Then they went forth with their arms naked to their shoulders, bearing with them great swords and mighty axes, and dancing like mad persons. After that we had passed many small villages, we fortuned to come to one Brituni’s house, where at our first entry they began to hurl themselves hither and thither, as though they were mad. They made a thousand gestures with their feet and their hands, they would bite themselves, finally, everyone took his weapon and wounded his arms in diverse places.

Amongst whom there was one more mad than the rest, that let many deep sighs from the bottom of his heart, as though he had been ravished in spirit, or replenished with divine power. And after that, he somewhat returning to himself, invented and forged a great lie, saying, that he had displeased the divine majesty of the goddess, by doing of something which was not convenable to the order of their holy religion, wherefore he would do vengeance of himself: and therewithal he took a whip, and scourged his own body, that the blood issued out abundantly, which thing caused me greatly to fear, to see such wounds and effusion of blood, least the same goddess desiring so much the blood of men, should likewise desire the blood of an ass. After they were weary with hurling and beating themselves, they sat down, and behold, the inhabitants came in, and offered gold, silver, vessels of wine, milk, cheese, flour, wheat and other things: amongst whom there was one, that brought barley to the ass that carried the goddess, but the greedy whoresons thrust all into their sack, which they brought for the purpose and put it upon my back, to the end I might serve for two purposes, that is to say, for the barn by reason of my corn, and for the temple by reason of the goddess. In this sort, they went from place to place, robbing all the country over. At length they came to a certain castle where under colour of divination, they brought to pass that they obtained a fat sheep of a poor husbandman for the goddess’ supper and to make sacrifice withal. After that the banquet was prepared, they washed their bodies, and brought in a tall young man of the village, to sup with them, who had scarce tasted a few pottage, when he began to discover their beastly customs and inordinate desire of luxury. For they compassed him round about, sitting at the table, and abused the young man, contrary to all nature and reason. When I beheld this horrible fact, I could not but attempt to utter my mind and say, Oh masters, but I could pronounce no more but the first letter oh, which I roared out so valiantly, that the young men of the town seeking for a stray ass, that they had lost the same night, and hearing my voice, whereby they judged that I had been theirs, entered into the house unawares, and found these persons committing their vile abomination, which when they saw, they declared to all the inhabitants by, their unnatural villainy, mocking and laughing at this the pure and clean chastity of their religion. In the mean season, Phelibus and his company, (by reason of the bruit which was dispersed throughout all the region there of their beastly wickedness) put all their trumpery upon my back, and departed away about midnight. When we had passed a great part of our journey, before the rising of the sun, we came into a wild desert, where they conspired together to slay me. For after they had taken the goddess from my back and set her gingerly upon the ground, they likewise took off my harness, and bound me surely to an oak, beating me with their whip, in such sort that all my body was mortified. Amongst whom there was one that threatened to cut off my legs with his hatchet, because by my noise I defamed his chastity, but the other regarding more their own profit than my utility, thought best to spare my life, because I might carry home the goddess. So they laded me again, driving me before them with their naked swords, till they came to a noble city: where the principal patron bearing high reverence unto the goddess, came in great devotion before us with tympany, cymbals, and other instruments, and received her, and all our company with much sacrifice and veneration. But there I remember, I thought myself in most danger, for there was one that brought to the master of the house, a side of a fat buck for a present, which being hanged behind the kitchen door, not far from the ground, was clean eaten up by a greyhound, that came in. The cook when he saw the venison devoured, lamented and wept pitifully. And because suppertime approached nigh, when as he should be reproved of too much negligence, he took a halter to hang himself: but his wife perceiving whereabout he went, ran incontinently to him, and taking the halter in both her hands, stopped him of his purpose, saying, Oh husband, are you out of your wits? Pray husband follow my counsel, carry this strange ass out into some secret place and kill him, which done, cut off one of his sides, and sauce it well like the side of the buck, and set it before your master. Then the cook hearing the counsel of his wife, was well pleased to slay me to save himself: and so he went to the whetstone, to sharp his tools accordingly.