XXVII
How the gentlewoman was carried home by her husband while the thieves were asleep, and how much Apuleius was made of.
When the thieves were all asleep by their great and immoderate drinking, the young man Lepolemus took the maiden and set her upon my back, and went homeward. When we were come home, all the people of the city, especially her parents, friends, and family, came running forth joyfully, and the children and maidens of the town gathered together to see this virgin in great triumph sitting upon an ass. Then I (willing to show as much joy as I might, as present occasion served) I set and pricked up my long ears, rattled my nostrils, and cried stoutly, nay rather I made the town to ring again with my shrilling sound: when we were come to her father’s house, she was received in a chamber honorably: as for me, Lepolemus (accompanied with a great number of citizens) did presently after drive me back again with other horses to the cave of the thieves, where we found them all asleep lying on the ground as we left them; then they first brought out all the gold, and silver, and other treasure of the house, and laded us withal, which when they had done, they threw many of the thieves down into the bottom of deep ditches, and the residue they slew with their swords: after this we returned home glad and merry of so great vengeance upon them, and the riches which we carried was committed to the public treasury. This done, the maid was married to Lepolemus, according to the law, whom by so much travel he had valiantly recovered: then my good mistress looked about for me, and asking for me commanded the very same day of her marriage, that my manger should be filled with barley, and that I should have hay and oats abundantly, and she would call me her little camel. But how greatly did I curse Fotis, in that she transformed me into an ass, and not into a dog, because I saw the dogs had filled their paunches with the relics and bones of so worthy a supper. The next day this new wedded woman (my mistress) did greatly commend me before her parents and husband, for the kindness which I had showed unto her, and never leaved off until such time as they promised to reward me with great honours. Then they called together all their friends, and thus it was concluded: one said, that I should be closed in a stable and never work, but continually to be fed and fatted with fine and chosen barley and beans and good litter, howbeit another prevailed, who wishing my liberty, persuaded them that it was better for me to run in the fields amongst the lascivious horses and mares, whereby I might engender some mules for my mistress: then he that had in charge to keep the horse, was called for, and I was delivered unto him with great care, insomuch that I was right pleasant and joyous, because I hoped that I should carry no more fardels nor burdens, moreover I thought that when I should thus be at liberty, in the springtime of the year when the meadows and fields were green, I should find some roses in some place, whereby I was fully persuaded that if my master and mistress did render to me so many thanks and honours being an ass, they would much more reward me being turned into a man: but when he (to whom the charge of me was so straightly committed) had brought me a good way distant from the city, I perceived no delicate meats nor no liberty which I should have, but by and by his covetous wife and most cursed quean made me a mill ass, and (beating me with a cudgel full of knots) would wring bread for herself and her husband out of my skin. Yet was she not contented to weary me and make me a drudge with carriage and grinding of her own corn, but I was hired of her neighbours to bear their sacks likewise, howbeit she would not give me such meat as I should have, nor sufficient to sustain my life withal, for the barley which I ground for mine own dinner she would sell to the inhabitants by. And after that I had laboured all day, she would set before me at night a little filthy bran, nothing clean but full of stones. Being in this calamity, yet fortune worked me other torments, for on a day I was let loose into the fields to pasture, by the commandment of my master. Oh how I leaped for joy, how I neighed to see myself in such liberty, but especially since I beheld so many mares, which I thought should be my wives and concubines; and I espied out and chose the fairest before I came nigh them; but this my joyful hope turned into utter destruction, for incontinently all the stone horses which were well fed and made strong by ease of pasture, and thereby much more puissant than a poor ass, were jealous over me, and (having no regard to the law and order of god Jupiter) ran fiercely and terribly against me; one lifted up his forefeet and kicked me spitefully, another turned himself, and with his hinder heels spurned me cruelly, the third threatening with a malicious neighing, dressed his ears and showing his sharp and white teeth bit me on every side. In like sort have I read in histories how the king of Thrace would throw his miserable guests to be torn in pieces and devoured of his wild horses, so niggish was that tyrant of his provender, that he nourished them with the bodies of men.