XXIII

How Apuleius carried away the gentlewoman, and how they were taken again by the thieves, and what a kind of death was invented for them.

By and by the thieves came home laden with treasure, and many of them which were of strongest courage (leaving behind such as were lame and wounded, to heal and air themselves) said they would return back again to fetch the rest of their pillage, which they had hidden in a certain cave, and so they snatched up their dinner greedily, and brought us forth into the way and beat us before them with staves. About night (after that we had passed over many hills and dales) we came to a great cave, where they laded us with mighty burdens, and would not suffer us to refresh ourselves any season but brought us again in our way, and hied so fast homeward, that what with their haste and their cruel stripes, I fell down upon a stone by the wayside, then they beat me pitifully in lifting me up, and hurt my right thigh and my left hoof, and one of them said, What shall we do with this lame ill-favored ass, that is not worth the meat he eats? And other said, Since the time that we had him first he never did any good, and I think he came unto our house with evil luck, for we have had great wounds since, and loss of our valiant captains, and other said, As soon as he hath brought home his burden, I will surely throw him out upon the mountain to be a prey for wild beasts: While these gentlemen reasoned together of my death, we fortuned to come home, for the fear that I was in, caused my feet to turn into wings: after that we were discharged of our burdens, they went to their fellows that were wounded, and told them of our great tardity and slowness by the way, neither was I brought into small anguish, when I perceived my death prepared before my face: Why standest thou still Lucius? Why dost thou not look for thy death? Knowst thou not that the thieves have ordained to slay thee? Seest thou not these sharp and pointed flints which shall bruise and tear thee in pieces, if by adventure thou happen upon them? Thy gentle magician hath not only given thee the shape and travel of an ass, but also a skin so soft and tender as it were a swallow: why dost thou not take courage and run away to save thyself? Art thou afraid of the old woman more than half dead, whom with a stripe of thy heel thou mayest easily dispatch? But whither shall I fly? What lodging shall I seek? See my assie cogitation. Who is he that passeth by the way and will not take me up? While I devised these things, I brake the halter wherewith I was tied and ran away with all my force, howbeit I could not escape the kitish eyes of the old woman, for she ran after me, and with more audacity then becommeth her kind age, caught me by the halter and thought to pull me home: but I not forgetting the cruel purpose of the thieves, was moved with small pity, for I kicked her with my hinder heels to the ground and had well-nigh slain her, who (although she was thrown and hurled down) yet she held still the halter, and would not let me go; then she cried with a loud voice and called for succor, but she little prevailed, because there was no person that heard her, save only the captive gentlewoman, who hearing the voice of the old woman, came out to see what the matter was, and perceiving her hanging at the halter, took a good courage and wrested it out of her hand, and (entreating me with gentle words) got upon my back. Then I began to run, and she gently kicked me forward, whereof I was nothing displeased, for I had as great a desire to escape as she: insomuch that I seemed to scour away like a horse. And when the gentlewoman did speak, I would answer her with my neighing, and oftentimes (under colour to rub my back) I would sweetly kiss her tender feet. Then she fetching a sigh from the bottom of her heart, lifted up her eyes to the heavens, saying: Oh sovereign Gods, deliver me if it be your pleasure, from these present dangers: and thou cruel fortune cease thy wrath, let the sorrow suffice thee which I have already sustained. And thou little ass, that art the occasion of my safety and liberty, if thou canst once render me safe and sound to my parents, and to him that so greatly desireth to have me to his wife, thou shalt see what thanks I will give: with what honour I will reward thee, and how I will use thee. First, I will bravely dress the hairs of thy forehead, and then will I finely comb thy main, I will tie up thy rugged tail trimly, I will deck thee round about with golden trapps, in such sort that thou shalt glitter like the stars of the sky, I will bring thee daily in my apron the kernels of nuts, and will pamper thee up with delicates; I will set store by thee, as by one that is the preserver of my life: Finally, thou shalt lack no manner of thing. Moreover amongst thy glorious fare, thy great ease, and the bliss of thy life, thou shalt not be destitute of dignity, for thou shalt be chronicled perpetually in memory of my present fortune, and the providence divine. All the whole history shall be painted upon the wall of our house, thou shalt be renowned throughout all the world. And it shall be registered in the books of doctors, that an ass saved the life of a young maiden that was captive amongst thieves: Thou shalt be numbered amongst the ancient miracles: we believe that by like example of truth Phryxus saved himself from drowning upon the ram, Arion escaped upon a dolphin, and that Europa was delivered by the bull. If Jupiter transformed himself into a bull, why may it not be that under the shape of this ass, is hidden the figure of a man, or some power divine? While that the virgin did thus sorrowfully unfold her desires, we fortuned to come to a place where three ways did meet, and she took me by the halter, and would have me to turn on the right hand to her fathers house: but I (knowing that the thieves were gone that way to fetch the residue of their pillage) resisted with my head as much as I might, saying within myself: What wilt thou do unhappy maiden? Why wouldst thou go so willingly to hell? Why wilt thou run into destruction by mean of my feet? Why dost thou seek thine own harm, and mine likewise? And while we strived together whether way we might take, the thieves returned, laden with their prey, and perceived us afar-off by the light of the Moon: and after they had known us, one of them gan say, Whither go you so hastily? Be you not afraid of spirits? And you (you harlot) do you not go to see your parents? Come on, we will bear you company? And therewithal they took me by the halter, and drave me back again, beating me cruelly with a great staff (that they had) full of knobs: then I returning again to my ready destruction, and remembering the grief of my hoof, began to shake my head, and to wax lame, but he that led me by the halter said, What, dost thou stumble? Canst thou not go? These rotten feet of thine ran well enough, but they cannot walk: thou couldest mince it finely even now with the gentlewoman, that thou seemedst to pass the horse Pegasus in swiftness. In saying of these words they beat me again, that they broke a great staff upon me. And when we were come almost home, we saw the old woman hanging upon a bough of a cypress tree; then one of them cut down the bough whereon she hanged, and cast her into the bottom of a great ditch: after this they bound the maiden and fell greedily to their victuals, which the miserable old woman had prepared for them. At which time they began to devise with themselves of our death, and how they might be revenged; diverse was the opinions of this diverse number: the first said, that he thought best the maid should be burned alive: the second said she should be thrown out to wild beasts: the third said, she should be hanged upon a gibbet: the fourth said she should be flayed alive: thus was the death of the poor maiden scanned between them four. But one of the thieves after every man had declared his judgment, did speak in this manner: it is not convenient unto the oath of our company, to suffer you to wax more cruel than the quality of the offence doth merit, for I would that she should not be hanged nor burned, nor thrown to beasts, nor die any sudden death, but by my council I would have her punished according to her desert. You know well what you have determined already of this dull ass, that eateth more than he is worth, that faineth lameness, and that was the cause of the flying away of the maid: my mind is that he shall be slain tomorrow, and when all the guts and entrails of his body is taken out, let the maid be sewn into his belly, then let us lay them upon a great stone against the broiling heat of the sun, so they shall both sustain all the punishments which you have ordained: for first the ass shall be slain as you have determined, and she shall have her members torn and gnawn with wild beasts, when as she is bitten and rent with worms, she shall endure the pain of the fire, when as the broiling heat of the sun shall scorch and parch the belly of the ass, she shall abide the gallows when the dogs and vultures shall have the guts of her body hanging in their ravenous mouths. I pray you number all the torments which she shall suffer: first she shall dwell within the paunch of an ass: secondly her nostrils shall receive a carrion stink of the beast: thirdly she shall die for hunger: last of all, she shall find no mean to rid herself from her pains, for her hand shalt be sewn up within the skin of the ass: This being said, all the thieves consented, and when I (poor ass) heard and understood all their device, I did nothing else but lament and bewail my dead carcass, which should be handled in such sort on the next morrow.