It fortuned on a day, that Byrrhena desired me earnestly to sup with her; and she would in nowise take any excusation. Whereupon I went to Fotis, to ask counsel of her as of some divine, who although she was unwilling that I should depart one foot from her company, yet at length she gave me license to be absent for a while, saying, Beware that you tarry not long at supper there, for there is a rabblement of common barretors and disturbers of the public peace, that rove about in the streets and murder all such as they may take, neither can law nor justice redress them in any case. And they will the sooner set upon you, by reason of your comeliness and audacity, in that you are not afeared at any time to walk in the streets.

Then I answered and said, Have no care of me Fotis, for I esteem the pleasure which I have with thee, above the dainty meats that I eat abroad, and therefore I will return again quickly. Nevertheless I mind not to come without company, for I have here my sword, whereby I hope to defend myself.

And so in this sort I went to supper, and behold I found in Byrrhena’s house a great company of strangers, and the chief and principal of the city: the beds made of citron and ivory, were richly adorned and spread with cloth of gold, the cups were garnished preciously, and there were diverse other things of sundry fashion, but of like estimation and price: here stood a glass gorgeously wrought, there stood another of crystal finely painted. There stood a cup of glittering silver, and there stood another of shining gold, and here was another of amber artificially carved and made with precious stones. Finally, there was all things that might be desired: the servitors waited orderly at the table in rich apparel, the pages arrayed in silk robes, did fill great gems and pearls made in the form of cups, with excellent wine. Then one brought in candles and torches, and when we were set down and placed in order, we began to talk, to laugh, and to be merry. And Byrrhena spake unto me and said, I pray you cousin how like you our country? Verily I think there is no other city which hath the like temples, baines, and other commodities which we have here. Further we have abundance of household stuff, we have pleasure, we have ease, and when the Roman merchants arrive in this city they are gently and quietly entertained, and all that dwell within this province (when they purpose to solace and repose themselves) do come to this city. Whereunto I answered, Verily (quoth I) you tell truth, for I can find no place in all the world which I like better than this, but I greatly fear the blind inevitable trenches of witches, for they say that the dead bodies are digged out of their graves, and the bones of them that are burnt be stolen away, and the toes and fingers of such as are slain are cut off, and afflict and torment such as live. And the old witches as soon as they hear of the death of any person, do forthwith go and uncover the hearse and spoil the corpse, to work their enchantments. Then another sitting at the table spake and said, In faith you say true, neither yet do they spare or favor the living. For I know one not far hence that was cruelly handled by them, who being not contented with cutting off his nose, did likewise cut off his ears, whereat all the people laughed heartily, and looked at one that sat at the board’s end, who being amazed at their gazing, and somewhat angry withal, would have risen from the table, had not Byrrhena spake unto him and said, I pray thee friend Bellerophon sit still and according to thy accustomed courtesy declare unto us the loss of thy nose and ears, to the end that my cousin Lucius may be delighted with the pleasantness of the tale. To whom he answered, Madam in the office of your bounty shall prevail herein, but the insolency of some is not to be supported. This he spake very angrily: but Byrrhena was earnest upon him, and assured him he should have no wrong at any man’s hand. Whereby he was enforced to declare the same, and so lapping up the end of the tablecloth and carpet together, he leaned with his elbow thereon, and held out three forefingers of his right hand in manner of an orator, and said, When I was a young man I went unto a certain city called Milet, to see the games and triumphs there named Olympia, and being desirous to come into this famous province, after that I had travelled over all Thessaly, I fortuned in an evil hour to come to the city Larissa, where while I went up and down to view the streets to seek some relief for my poor estate (for I had spent all my money) I espied an old man standing on a stone in the middest of the market place, crying with a loud voice and saying, that if any man would watch a dead corpse that night he should be reasonably rewarded for this pains. Which when I heard, I said to one who passed by, What is here to do? Do dead men use to run away in this country? Then answered he, Hold your peace, for you are but a babe and a stranger here, and not without cause you are ignorant how you are in Thessaly, where the women witches bite off by morsels the flesh and faces of dead men, and thereby work their sorceries and enchantments. Then quoth I, In good fellowship tell me the order of this custody and how it is. Marry (quoth he) first you must watch all the night, with your eyes bent continually upon the corpse, never looking off, nor moving aside. For these Witches do turn themselves into sundry kinds of beasts, whereby they deceive the eyes of all men, sometimes they are transformed into birds, sometimes into dogs and mice, and sometimes into flies. Moreover they will charm the keepers of the corpse asleep, neither can it be declared what means and shifts these wicked women do use, to bring their purpose to pass: and the reward for such dangerous watching is no more than four or six shillings. But hearken further (for I had well-nigh forgotten) if the keeper of the dead body do not render on the morning following, the corpse whole and sound as he received the same, he shall be punished in this sort: that is, if the corpse be diminished or spoiled in any part of his face, hands or toes, the same shall be diminished and spoiled in the keeper. Which when I heard him I took a good heart, and went unto the crier and bid him cease, for I would take the matter in hand, and so I demanded what I should have. Marry (quoth he) a thousand pence, but beware I say you young man, that you do well defend the dead corpse from the wicked witches, for he was the son of one of the chiefest of the city. Tush (said I) you speak you cannot tell what, behold I am a man made all of iron, and have never desire to sleep, and am more quick of sight than lynx or Argus. I had scarce spoken these words, when he took me by the hand and brought me to a certain house, the gate whereof was closed fast, so that I went through the wicket, then he brought me into a chamber somewhat dark, and showed me a matron clothed in mourning vesture, and weeping in lamentable wise. And he spake unto her and said, Behold here is one that will enterprise to watch the corpse of your husband this night. Which when she heard she turned her blubbered face covered with hair unto me saying, I pray you good man take good heed, and see well to your office. Have no care (quoth I) so you will give me anything above that which is due to be given. Wherewith she was contented, and then she arose and brought me into a chamber whereas the corpse lay covered with white sheets, and she called seven witnesses, before whom she showed the dead body, and every part and parcel thereof, and with weeping eyes desired them all to testify the matter. Which done, she said these words of course as follow: Behold, his nose is whole, his eyes safe, his ears without scar, his lips untouched, and his chin sound: all which was written and noted in tables, and subscribed with the hands of witnesses to confirm the same. Which done I said unto the matron, Madam I pray you that I may have all things here necessary. What is that? (quoth she). Marry (quoth I) a great lamp with oil, pots of wine, and water to delay the same, and some other drink and dainty dish that was left at supper. Then she shaked her head and said, Away fool as thou art, thinkest thou to play the glutton here and to look for dainty meats where so long time hath not been seen any smoke at all? Commest thou hither to eat, where we should weep and lament? And therewithal she turned back, and commanded her maiden Myrrhena to deliver me a lamp with oil, which when she had done they closed the chamber door and departed. Now when I was alone, I rubbed mine eyes, and armed myself to keep the corpse, and to the intent I would not sleep, I began to sing, and so I passed the time until it was midnight, when as behold there crept in a weasel into the chamber, and she came against me and put me in very great fear, insomuch that I marvelled greatly at the audacity of so little a beast. To whom I said, get thou hence thou whore and hie thee to thy fellows, lest thou feel my fingers. Why wilt thou not go? Then incontinently she ran away, and when she was gone, I fell on the ground so fast asleep, that Apollo himself could not discern which of us two was the dead corpse, for I lay prostrate as one without life, and needed a keeper likewise. At length the cocks began to crow, declaring that it was day: wherewithal I awaked, and being greatly afeard ran to the dead body with the lamp in my hand, and I viewed him round about: and immediately came in the matron weeping with her witnesses, and ran to the corpse, and eftsoons kissing him, she turned his body and found no part diminished. Then she willed Philodespotus her steward to pay me my wages forthwith. Which when he had done he said, We thank you gentle young man for your pains and verily for your diligence herein we will account you as one of the family. Whereunto I (being joyous of by unhoped gain, and rattling my money in my hand) did answer, I pray you madam esteem me as one of your servants, and if you want my service at any time, I am at your commandment. I had not fully declared these words, when as behold all the servants of the house were assembled with weapons to drive me away, one buffeted me about the face, another about the shoulders, some struck me in the sides, some kicked me, and some tore my garments, and so I was handled amongst them and driven from the house, as the proud young man Adonis who was torn by a Boar. And when I was come into the next street, I mused with myself, and remembered mine unwise and unadvised words which I had spoken, whereby I considered that I had deserved much more punishment, and that I was worthily beaten for my folly. And by and by the corpse came forth, which because it was the body of one of the chief of the city, was carried in funeral pomp round about the market place, according to the rite of the country there. And forthwith stepped out an old man weeping and lamenting, and ran unto the bier and embraced it, and with deep sighs and sobs cried out in this sort, Oh masters, I pray you by the faith which you profess, and by the duty which you owe unto the wealpublic, take pity and mercy upon this dead corpse, who is miserably murdered, and do vengeance on this wicked and cursed woman his wife which hath committed this fact: for it is she and no other which hath poisoned her husband my sister’s son, to the intent to maintain her whoredom, and to get his heritage. In this sort the old man complained before the face of all people. Then they (astonied at these sayings, and because the thing seemed to be true) cried out, Burn her, burn her, and they sought for stones to throw at her, and willed the boys in the street to do the same. But she weeping in lamentable wise, did swear by all the gods, that she was not culpable of this crime. No quoth the old man, here is one sent by the providence of God to try out the matter, even Zachlas an Egyptian, who is the most principal prophesier in all this country, and who was hired of me for money to reduce the soul of this man from hell, and to revive his body for the trial hereof. And therewithal he brought forth a certain young man clothed in linen raiment, having on his feet a pair of pantofles, and his crown shaven, who kissed his hands and knees, saying, Oh priest have mercy, have mercy I pray thee by the celestial planets, by the powers infernal, by the virtue of the natural elements, by the silences of the night, by the building of swallows nigh unto the town Copton, by the increase of the flood Nilus, by the secret mysteries of Memphis, and by the instruments and trumpets of the isle Pharos, have mercy I say, and call to life this dead body, and make that his eyes which he closed and shut, may be open and see. Howbeit we mean not to strive against the law of death, neither intend we to deprive the earth of his right, but to the end this fact may be known, we crave but a small time and space of life. Whereat this prophet was moved, and took a certain herb and laid it three times against the mouth of the dead, and he took another and laid upon his breast in like sort. Thus when he had done he turned himself into the east, and made certain orisons unto the sun, which caused all the people to marvel greatly, and to look for this strange miracle that should happen. Then I pressed in amongst them nigh unto the bier, and got upon a stone to see this mystery, and behold incontinently the dead body began to receive spirit, his principal veins did move, his life came again and he held up his head and spake in this sort: Why do you call me back again to this transitory life, that have already tasted of the water of Lethe, and likewise been in the deadly den of Styx? Leave off, I pray, leave off, and let me lie in quiet rest. When these words were uttered by the dead corpse, the Prophet drew nigh unto the bier and said, I charge thee to tell before the face of all the people here the occasion of thy death: What, dost thou think that I cannot by my conjurations call up the dead, and by my puissance torment thy body? Then the corpse moved his head again, and made reverence to the people and said, Verily I was poisoned by the means of my wicked wife, and so thereby yielded my bed unto an adulterer. Whereat his wife taking present audacity, and reproving his sayings, with a cursed mind did deny it. The people were bent against her sundry ways, some thought best that she should be buried alive with her husband: but some said that there ought no credit to be given to the dead body. Which opinion was clean taken away, by the words which the corpse spoke again and said, Behold I will give you some evident token, which never yet any other man knew, whereby you shall perceive that I declare the truth: and by and by he pointed towards me that stood on the stone, and said, When this the good guard of my body watched me diligently in the night, and that the wicked witches and enchantresses came into the chamber to spoil me of my limbs, and to bring such their purpose did transform themselves into the shape of beasts: and when as they could in nowise deceive or beguile his vigilant eyes, they cast him into so dead and sound a sleep, that by their witchcraft he seemed without spirit or life. After this they did call me by my name, and never did cease till as the cold members of my body began by little and little and little to revive. Then he being of more lively soul, howbeit buried in sleep, in that he and I were named by one name, and because he knew not that they called me, rose up first, and as one without sense or perseverance passed by the door fast closed, unto a certain hole, whereas the witches cut off first his nose, and then his ears, and so that was done to him which was appointed to be done to me. And that such their subtlety might not be perceived, they made him a like pair of ears and nose of wax: wherefore you may see that the poor miser for lucre of a little money sustained loss of his members. Which when he had said I was greatly astonied, and minding to prove whether his words were true or no, put my hand to my nose, and my nose fell off, and put my hand to my ears and my ears fell off. Whereat all the people wondered greatly, and laughed me to scorn: but I being stricken in a cold sweat, crept between their legs for shame and escaped away. So I disfigured returned home again, and covered the loss of mine ears with my long hair, and glued this cloth to my face to hide my shame. As soon as Bellephoron had told his tale, they which sat at the table replenished with wine, laughed heartily. And while they drank one to another, Byrrhena spake to me and said, from the first foundation of this city we have a custom to celebrate the festival day of the god Risus, and tomorrow is the feast when as I pray you to be present, to set out the same more honorably, and I would with all my heart that you could find or devise somewhat of yourself, that might be in honour of so great a god. To whom I answered, verily cousin I will do as you command me, and right glad would I be, if I might invent any laughing or merry matter to please or satisfy Risus withal. Then I rose from the table and took leave of Byrrhena and departed. And when I came into the first street my torch went out, that with great pain I could scarce get home, by reason it was so dark, for fear of stumbling: and when I was well-nigh come unto the door, behold I saw three men of great stature, heaving and lifting at Milo’s gates to get in: and when they saw me they were nothing afeard, but assayed with more force to break down the doors whereby they gave me occasion, and not without cause, to think that they were strong thieves. Whereupon I by and by drew out my sword which I carried for that purpose under my cloak, and ran in amongst them, and wounded them in such sort that they fell down dead before my face. Thus when I had slain them all, I knocked sweating and breathing at the door till Fotis let me in. And then full weary with the slaughter of those thieves, like Hercules when he fought against the king Gerion, I went to my chamber and laid me down to sleep.